I am finding chess extremely depressing. • page 1/7 • General Chess Discussion • lichess.org

Okay, posting here because my failure to improve at chess is starting to impact on my mental health. First of all this is about my 7th or 8th account so my games on here aren't an accurate reflection of what I've put into this game so far.

First of all, why do I play chess? I don't enjoy the game, to me it is a massive issue that I am beaten all of the time by ~1200-1300 players, I consider myself a pretty intelligent person, I was a high achiever at school, have written several books etc, to me chess is this abnormality in my life which I need to correct by at least achieving a 1700-1900 rating, it drives me literally mad that I am not at the level I expect of myself, I feel like a huge failure and disappointment because of my realities playing this game.

I feel like we've been sold a lie by Youtubers, e.g. take Eric Rosen playing the Stafford Gambit and winning game after game, I watch the video, try it, and literally no player falls into any of the traps which happen on Youtube, I feel like we are being sold this myth that we will get the glory and fame of getting good at chess when 99% of us it will NEVER happen, we simply do not have the mental ability to do what professional players do.

Example - how many openings are there and gambits to learn and memorise? 100s, each with 100s of variations and confusing names, there is literally no way to beat somebody who has memorised all of these lines which requires a brain which is good at numbers, repetition and patterns, if you do not have this kind of brain you can't get good at chess.

Tactics - yes okay but if you try to use tactics against somebody who has memorised all of the movesets you are just wasting your time. Endgames - comes down to pure number crunching and as per the above, you will get smashed on openings anyway.

In terms of puzzles yes I do them, half are really easy, half I just stare at for hours then get wrong because there is no obvious way to proceed within them. Games, I have tried to focus on E4/D4 openings but even 1200 players seem to have learned all the openings and play some crazy counter, I am also convinced half the players on here are cheating with other chess engines open and stuff.

I guess I am just feeling so disillusioned right now, the other thing is half of the coaching resources out there etc are just money-grabbing schemes aimed at selling you this idea that you'll get good, but I guess there is a part of me now wondering if it is just futile and I should just stop playing chess so that I feel better about myself? Another part of me wants so badly to keep trying, but I find chess so ultimately depressing now, the anger I feel every time I lose, the amount of focus I put on my rating all the time and the fact that it isn't good enough,, that maybe someone like me should just quit for my own health?

Okay, posting here because my failure to improve at chess is starting to impact on my mental health. First of all this is about my 7th or 8th account so my games on here aren't an accurate reflection of what I've put into this game so far. First of all, why do I play chess? I don't enjoy the game, to me it is a massive issue that I am beaten all of the time by ~1200-1300 players, I consider myself a pretty intelligent person, I was a high achiever at school, have written several books etc, to me chess is this abnormality in my life which I need to correct by at least achieving a 1700-1900 rating, it drives me literally mad that I am not at the level I expect of myself, I feel like a huge failure and disappointment because of my realities playing this game. I feel like we've been sold a lie by Youtubers, e.g. take Eric Rosen playing the Stafford Gambit and winning game after game, I watch the video, try it, and literally no player falls into any of the traps which happen on Youtube, I feel like we are being sold this myth that we will get the glory and fame of getting good at chess when 99% of us it will NEVER happen, we simply do not have the mental ability to do what professional players do. Example - how many openings are there and gambits to learn and memorise? 100s, each with 100s of variations and confusing names, there is literally no way to beat somebody who has memorised all of these lines which requires a brain which is good at numbers, repetition and patterns, if you do not have this kind of brain you can't get good at chess. Tactics - yes okay but if you try to use tactics against somebody who has memorised all of the movesets you are just wasting your time. Endgames - comes down to pure number crunching and as per the above, you will get smashed on openings anyway. In terms of puzzles yes I do them, half are really easy, half I just stare at for hours then get wrong because there is no obvious way to proceed within them. Games, I have tried to focus on E4/D4 openings but even 1200 players seem to have learned all the openings and play some crazy counter, I am also convinced half the players on here are cheating with other chess engines open and stuff. I guess I am just feeling so disillusioned right now, the other thing is half of the coaching resources out there etc are just money-grabbing schemes aimed at selling you this idea that you'll get good, but I guess there is a part of me now wondering if it is just futile and I should just stop playing chess so that I feel better about myself? Another part of me wants so badly to keep trying, but I find chess so ultimately depressing now, the anger I feel every time I lose, the amount of focus I put on my rating all the time and the fact that it isn't good enough,, that maybe someone like me should just quit for my own health?

master_of_DARKNESS

#2

I didn't read all that you wrote but i tend to agree, chess fucking sucks. You win you only feel relief, you lose it's painful, and the only time you really laugh out loud is when your opponent stalemates you in a winning position.

Let's go play fortnite.

I didn't read all that you wrote but i tend to agree, chess fucking sucks. You win you only feel relief, you lose it's painful, and the only time you really laugh out loud is when your opponent stalemates you in a winning position. Let's go play fortnite.

NM MrPushwood

#3

If you want to go on living in Vent Mode, I guess that's your business...but if I were you I think I'd give up on the game (and take up something else).

SHAMENDRA

#4

I get lasy when reading so many words :)

ehl2109

#5

Looks like you are taking chess too seriously...if you dont enjoy the game, dont play it

QEDemonstrandum

#6

Dont focus on specific openings, just play some normal stuff. Of course you will lose with the stafford because it is a bad opening. Eric rosen gets away with it, because he played it for a long time and his opponents are often weaker.
Take your time, dont rush moves, develop your pieces, castle and you will be 1700 in no time.

Dont focus on specific openings, just play some normal stuff. Of course you will lose with the stafford because it is a bad opening. Eric rosen gets away with it, because he played it for a long time and his opponents are often weaker. Take your time, dont rush moves, develop your pieces, castle and you will be 1700 in no time.

edotic

#7

well, just try to learn it??? or if u dont like it then quit :D

JamaicanHypeMan

#8

Try and have fun man. Play moves that make sense to you. If you keep losing in a particular variation, don't play it anymore. Switch it up. It's insane to try the same thing over and over expecting different results. Keep your chin up. Take a break for a while, and see how you feel.

Akarsh_2010

#9

Eric Rosen openings are usually really risky, i would say go for the center, castle, don't hang pieces, and most importantly, as everyone says, DO NOT focus on openings.(coming from a player mostly focused on openings)

wisherwhacker

#10

its not about winning though its about having fun. why do you care so much about winning? just enjoy the structures in the position and as your rating fluctuates you will find yourself in hilarious and interesting positions. Bye!