"Chess is about managing emotions" - that's such a great quote that it's going up on my wall. Well done on writing such a profound post on the inner workings and machinations of chess.
My first (or second time) ever going to the chess club in my city I got the opportunity to play somebody who is around 1600-1700 USCF, who I learned was the club treasurer
My first game against him I was the black pieces, random choice but I woulda preferred that anyway. Old Benoni Defense, an opening he tells me after the game he's not too familiar with. I'm slowly building up my center and pressure and can feel the initiative, and then I blunder my queen in one move. A fun laugh for both of us
Now we play almost every club visit and while I'm playing much better than I used to, I still haven't beaten him.
I have a uscf of 1289 and in a important scholatic event I played against a 600 and thenI lose to him beacuse i blunder a queen for free. I was so sad That I couldn't eat my lunch.
Then when the next time I played him agin I cook him and got first place.:)
@Zhrakos said in #1:
> Comments on lichess.org/@/zhrakos/blog/chess-broke-my-heart-heres-why-i-still-cant-quit/CxIsg2e1
Woah, this is a real, human, and heartfelt blog. I agree so much with what you've said, and have shared similar feelings of "heartbreak". I actually don't care about my rating as long as I play good games, but I actually do, because people judge me by that... lol. This blog post almost felt... personal. <3