How to calm during playing chess...

Hello everyone ,
Recently, when I lose a game , I always fell depressed or feeling angry with myself. I tried to calm but it didn't work. Can anyone give me an advice?

Recently, when I lose a game , I always fell depressed or feeling angry with myself
It is because your chess skills aren't on the level that you desire, thus your options on the board are limited and it feels bad when you're clueless. Study some chess -- enhance your game style, improve your tactics and advance further

@Arckai said in #2:

It is because your chess skills aren't on the level that you desire, thus your options on the board are limited and it feels bad when you're clueless. Study some chess -- enhance your game style, improve your tactics and advance further

Nonsense.

It has nothing to do with these things.

My advice is too just muck around and have fun and not worry about winning and losing.
Throw games deliberately and try to get something out of the game.
Never let anybody or organisation suppress personal creativity in enjoying a game of chess.

Human beings are not robots nor should they ever be led to believe that they should embrace false positivism.

Tq very much @Firegoat7 and @Arckai for your responses. Your replies help me a lot. Merry Christmas!

Firegoat7 said in #3:

Never let anybody or organisation suppress personal creativity in enjoying a game of chess.
You just crossed out my advice of telling him to learn more about the gameplay, and instead told him not to bother with it while talking about not letting anyone suppress personal creativity... Truly a masterpiece of "nonsense"

Play rapid/classical

any loser will feel the same way you do. the only way to cure it is to play and play until i won

@Arckai said in #5:

Firegoat7 said in #3:

You just crossed out my advice of telling him to learn more about the gameplay, and instead told him not to bother with it while talking about not letting anyone suppress personal creativity... Truly a masterpiece of "nonsense"

Because your advice does not solve the root problem.
I personally believe it is very poor advice.
Players have to enjoy their chess to stay in the game.
Improving at chess does not solve the problem it merely delays facing the problem again in the future.
This false positivism idea of leading people to be more resilient through active focus on winning is self defeating.

And the key point is this....The original poster will have had a glimpse into how their personal psychology is affecting their ability to function. This is only one of the many very deep and nuanced lessons that chess provides to people for self improvement.

@aizkh2009 said in #1:

Hello everyone ,
Recently, when I lose a game , I always fell depressed or feeling angry with myself. I tried to calm but it didn't work. Can anyone give me an advice?

Remember it's just a game, you can't (and won't) win all of them.

I find the best way to address things like these is to examine it at the root. When someone gets emotional due to the result of something, it often is because of how reality doesn't match their expectations.

One great example of this is when we look at how someone could react from their score in a game. Lets say you don't expect to win a game, and you lose; usually you won't be bent out of shape. How about when you've accomplished some lead, you're close to winning, but then you somehow manage to lose. Usually this feels much worse. The result is the same, but the expectation changes how we react to the result.

In this case, I'd examine what kind of attachments do you have and what expectations are you setting for yourself? Are they realistic? I think this is what people mean when they say that it's just a game; that you should be aware of your attachments to winning and try to detach more. It is okay if you can't do this right away, just be aware of it and try to catch yourself in the moment and with time it will get better.

More than anything though, try to be more compassionate with yourself and try to treat and have internal dialogue with yourself like you would with a loved one. Really think about what you'd tell someone who gets angry with themselves and direct this towards yourself. At the end of the day, recognize that all you're doing in the end is moving pieces around on a 64 squared board. Happy Holidays! :)