As a 2100-2200 player... improving your skill will not improve how you feel about losing. If anything it gets worse, because you made fewer mistakes, so you were even closer to ALMOST pulling it off, if not for that ONE thing you did.
One thing I noticed was I was trying to relieve stress by playing Chess. But Chess is really bad stress relief; you're going to lose about half your games, and it's always going to be your fault. So the first thing to do is find something else to do for stress relief. Make a stream-of-consciousness diary entry, or get a sketchbook and doodle pictures of yourself beating up famous Karate stars. Something that doesn't have a fail state.
Another thing to try is to play variants. Not only are the rules different so wins and losses don't weigh as much, the pool is smaller so the system will pit you against a wider group of players. And you can also lose games because you forgot which game you're playing, which is a lot easier to laugh about than just getting outplayed.
And remember, if you really, really need a win, you can jump over to the lobby and punch down. Start a game against someone 400 points lower than you, and you'll almost always beat them.
@aizkh2009, you're higher rated than me, so I won't give any ideas as to how to improve your chess. However, I'll give you a quote from GM Benjamin Finegold. "Getting better at chess doesn't make it more fun." I interpret that as meaning it may feel great to see a higher rating, but the higher you go, the more skillful opponents you'll face, thus nullifying your ability to lord your newfound skill over the lower rated plebeians. If the rating system is doing its job correctly, as it does, you should be approximately 50/50 wins vs. losses. Get better at chess as a goal, something to work for and keep your mind occupied. Do it because you enjoy the process. Don't do it because your rating isn't as high as you'd like. That will absolutely never end and you'll never be happy. I guarantee everything you're feeling is a result of seeing your rating decrease. Most of us aren't professionals. The rating holds absolutely no greater meaning and it serves no other purpose than to match you with equally skilled opponents and keep the games competitive.
Chess has a rich history and is awesome. Unless you do it for a living, however, remember that it is a game. I wouldn't get bent out of shape at losing a match in Mortal Kombat or Monopoly, so I won't get bent out of shape when I lose at a random chess game on Lichess.
Does that kind of make sense?
meditate, read some books on psychology to help understand how the mind works and how to deal with unwanted thoughts and emotions.
During the game you should think about nothing but the next move. You'll be calm when the focus is away from fears and worries.
If you're not calm before or after the game, you should change your mentality. Until you become a serious professional, you should treat every game- esp. online games- as a sort of training and try to learn from your losses.
You were not a loser ! Only the king !
Do not play to win, but to have a new chess position every move, facing dangerous moves.
"Am I able to put the right piece on the right square ?"
Forget you rate.
having confidence in one's skills, allows (paradoxically) to better accept a defeat: "I played to the best of my abilities".
After a defeat, il it is time to undersatnd why and how did that happen ? Be happy having something to work with for the next few weeks
@Firegoat7 said in #8:
> Players have to enjoy their chess to stay in the game.
> Improving at chess does not solve the problem it merely delays facing the problem again in the future.
I'll respond to this part of your post because only it pertains to chess compared to the rest of what you've stated.
There's a certain amount of chess one can learn regardless of being a titled or casual player. GM Maurice himself stated he doesn't participate in tournaments anymore because those who do study chess day and night, therefore he can't be of any competition to them, and doesn't want to be a part of that routine. He knows enough chess for his title and is content for that matter.
It depends on the player to determine what they expect from chess -- having a solid knowledge of being able to play at least head-to-head against some of the old chess games is alone enough for me, but it used to bother me before when I kept being defeated by them just like how the original poster mentioned to feel upon losing. Now that I improved my game, I also know what lies ahead if I continue to dive deeper into chess, and do I want that? Not really... Just like GM Maurice said, I don't want to grab books and study chess. The amount I was able to learn does the trick for me.
Again, as long as the player is aware of how much they know about chess, it'll be fine. Giving the player generic answers like, "oh enjoy it, don't bother, throw games, etc.", they can't do that unless they reach the level of how much they're willing to learn about chess. It is a game, and no one plays a game just to lose
Aizkh2009 I do recognize that feeling. However I deal with it and keep going. Remember that you can learn and gain something from each chess game you play whether you win or lose. I don’t mean going over move by move analysis which can bog you down, but having a rough think-back over the game and working out roughly what you did that contributed to your defeat, eg letting your pieces get blocked in so they couldn’t be deployed, defending and sitting back too much, or making your moves too quickly so you miss things. Also what strengths the other player showed, perhaps not pursuing a plan too early, or effective pawn development. Add that to your tool bag and be a little more determined to change that next game.
You can also break down and think about specific aspects of your game, such as how you use the clock at different stages of the game, how you time your attack, or how you decide where to attack. Trying to improve the individual elements will help the overall game.
M
I don't know if, indeed, giving generic answers (enjoy, do tactics, practice every day) is enough to help players who are in doubt. Concrete and practical answers are better in my opinion.
The how is more important than the what.
When studying/analyzing our own games I think it is useful to look at the following points:
- understand why you missed a tactical move.
- look for the critical moment that made the game turn into a defeat.
- look for the moment when you could have improved your position as soon as possible in the game (outside the opening)
- At what moment you came out of the opening to your advantage or not
- The positional aspect in which one felt uncomfortable
write it all down in a notebook and review it regularly
@aizkh2009 said in #1:
> Hello everyone ,
> Recently, when I lose a game , I always fell depressed or feeling angry with myself. I tried to calm but it didn't work. Can anyone give me an advice?
Better consult a doctor.
@aizkh2009 said in #1:
> Hello everyone ,
> Recently, when I lose a game , I always fell depressed or feeling angry with myself. I tried to calm but it didn't work.
Just what Nepo wondered after game #6 ...
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