I defeated a GM in three moves

I stood up; picked up a chair; and hit him with it.

Good one. Would've been better if you said "I beat a GM in three moves" though.

@Phil224 said in #1:

I stood up; picked up a chair; and hit him with it.

Really sad if those are your only skills.

The GM caught your attack, then report you to arbiters. Easy win for him.

@MercuryTrismegistus
How about your eye? Is it allright?

@MercuryTrismegistus said in #6:

@Gravija
It had to be removed.

Holey, er, I mean holy... Why did he do that?

@MercuryTrismegistus said in #6:

It had to be removed.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Then GM will use Reverse Chess Technique and he will defeat you in just 1 move