Why is it so eady for everybody to force me into a losing position in correspondence?

In other words, why am I such an idiot?

I was very surprised to see that checkmate. I couldn't believe it, had to triple check all the escape squares. I almost played Rb2 to pressure the knight instead of mating then I paused myself

People cheat a lot in correspondence so there is a possibility that someone you played was using computer assistance to destroy you.

@JohnLuke090904 I did not use any computer assistance

@cheesecake_assassin
I didn’t mean specifically you just someone he played in the past might’ve cheated.

@JohnLuke090904 I hear that a lot but from the tons of correspondence games I've played I've yet to run into a cheater thankfully. The thought of how easy someone could cheat in correspondence kept me away from trying correspondence for a long time. Now its one of my favorite formats, I form many friends through correspondence which I can trust and play many games with

Learn a little bit of theory. I don't know much, but I know 3.Nc3 is considered inferior to 3.Nd2. Also don't be pawn hungry - Qxg7 allows black to develop his rook on an open file with a tempo.
Most of all, keep playing and learning from your mistakes. I've been playing chess just a little more than a year, but just analyzing my mistakes in games and watching a couple youtube theory classes has helped me improve significantly in that time.

Good luck - and if you're interested check out Hanging Pawns on Youtube - he's got pretty good videos on the theory for most mainstream opening.

@SavageAntarctican Haha same- I wish you luck with that

19. Bb5+ left the g2-pawn unprotected, that's why you lost.
Ps. are those move times real - for example 19. Bb5+ 20.0 seconds? If so, you play too fast...

@aryabrah Hanging Pawns is great, his videos help a lot with giving you the basic theory of an opening and its variations. Also has vids on avoiding blunders and such