Drawing or even losing won positions.

Good evening everyone,
I am a FIDE 1500'S player, 36 years old, started chess at 20.
I study chess mostly on youtube videos and I play to an Open Tournament at least once a year.
I just finished the 7th round of a tournament.
Up to this moment I have lost 2 chances of winning two players of 2165 and 1905. I can see I am playing well up to a point and I lose it at the most critical move. Not to mention that I lost both games where the advantage was between 4 and 5. I am sooooo frustrated and also thinking about quitting the whole thing... How can I start just.... WINNING? What's my problem?

@sasoulas

To give you a proper evaluation, I think we (Lichess community) would actually need to see those games. Perhaps after the tournament, you can share the games with us and get some objective feedback.

As far as getting frustrated; this is natural. I would treat it more as a learning experience rather than concentrate on the negative emotions you are producing right now. Remember, a large part of chess strength comes down to your psychology and mental strength/will power. Do not carry this frustration with you into the next round; you must exercise a short memory when it comes to negative emotions. The next round is a new round and you need to play objectively, as if those 2 losses in a winning position never even happened.

I talked a bit about it here, maybe this can be useful:

https://youtu.be/ZYIDIJ_0OEM

stronger players (relative to one's level) will rarely resign until all counterplay is exhausted. in other words, winning is never easy, even if you manage to get some advantage.

i'm not going to say random things about what might be the psychology involved with you throwing away the advantages, though that's definitely an interesting topic.
you know what was your thought process in these games better than anyone, so try to see what went wrong with it, learn from your mistakes.. so you don't repeat the same mistakes next time.

Thank you so much for your response and your psychological boost!

Of course, here are the games! My name is Stavros Konstantinomanolakis:
1st round:
https://chess24.com/en/watch/live-tournaments/21st-heraklion-open-2017/1/1/8
7th round
https://chess24.com/en/watch/live-tournaments/21st-heraklion-open-2017/7/1/14

It sounds pretty boring but I believe that often - especially at your level - the solution to your problems is to train tactics. If you had been more secure with your calculations during those winning positions, you would have won.

@Paulcarrero Great video!

@sasoulas

I assume you have reviewed the games so I won't go into analysis too much, but will focus on what you were thinking about in critical situations.

Round 1 game:

You played solid and even won his queen with some nice tactics, but suddenly your opponent had a little bit of counter-play on the queenside, where your king was sitting. After black plays ...25 Rxc4 you are winning...then after your 26th move the position becomes dead equal.

Were you focused too much on trading off his rook on h2 to notice that your king is under duress/threat? In cases like this, it is best to snuff out/eliminate counter-play before simplification to a winning endgame. Obviously after 26 Kb2 protecting the pawn, everything is fine and you can deal with the rook on h2. Were you relaxed or excited at this point in the game, during thinking about your 26th move?

Round 7 game:

Again, solid play by both players; but then you gained a winning position after black's 48th move. You decided to protect your advanced passed pawn with your queen rather than give check with your queen and force an exchange, favorable to you. This was the key moment in the game in my opinion - 49. Qf5+ After this move, it will be easier to protect your advanced passed pawn and force material loss by your opponent in the future.

Did you become impatient after black's 48th move? Were you considering exchanging some material off the board, simplifying into a winning endgame? Later on I noticed you did try to trade queens but by this point, your opponent did not have to accept this trade.

My own thoughts:

You appear to be a stronger player than me so take what I say as just my own opinion: When you obtain a winning position, you tend to become a little impatient and focus on how you're going to deal the death blow to your opponent, rather than eliminating counter-play first before simplifying into a pure won game.

Next time you obtain a winning position like you did in these games, just take a little time and relax; leave the table and get your mind back to balance. Then come back to the board and start asking "What can my opponent do here that will ruin this for me? Is there any counter-play? If so, how do I crush it before continuing with this win?"

Good luck to you for the remaining games...

Looking at the games, you were winning but both of these positions weren't easy. It's important to stay focussed there but also you just can't expect to win such positions every time. I have won numerous games where my position was way worse than those above. (by orders of magnitude)

E.g. One game I played when I was very young (opponent was only 1400 but still):

@GetAGripWhitby Thanks! :)