Conspiracy theories

As many of you know, I spent a large portion of the Yearly Rapid trying to prove that IM Lance5500 was the Goblin King from Labyrinth. This got me thinking, "what if Lance isn't the only titled player trying to hide his identity?"
So, being the intrepid investigator that I am, I scoured the film world, looking for other leads. Eventually I discovered that the main character in a film called "Lifeforce" (directed by Tobe Hooper, weirdly enough) was named Carlsen! Yes, this DOES mean that Magnus Carlsen is probably an evil space vampire with vaguely defined character motivation. Which explains the last World Championship match, now that I think about it.
This conspiracy theory sponsored by the Canadian Defense Ministry

Anything? Hmm... So... A meteor strikes the earth and her axis is turned facing the sun, so we don't have seasons... Then The sun blows up and "pooof"!

Maybe this forum is a conspiracy itself! This forum is sponsored by Lichess to distract players from the bigger plans Lichess is making!

Elijah Wood, Daniel Radcliffe and Tobey Maguire are all the same person.

He's been unemployed for approximately two of his lifetimes.

Thank you for resurrecting my origional conspiracy thread,which obviously was getting too close to the truth,so they terminated it.

bunyip did have a forum about conspiracy theories. But I still think this forum is clearer.

GPS devices were invented (by Mrs Garmin) to eradicate any innate sense of space and direction. In a few years, when the transformation is complete, they will all be shut down, leaving people unable to move from one spot to another, to buy groceries, go to work, visit a friend, escape the neighborhood, and then the owners will have total control of all human movement. There will be no need to destroy maps, as no one will be able to read them. A select few will be able to buy travel information, but most people will starve in their backyards or wander highways aimlessly. Rural subsistence farmers may be able to survive, but will need to buy access to markets. All sense of location will wither, and we will all become one, even as the Buddhists have been suggesting.