Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through dry land
If you tried to take a bite out of him ...your teeth would break off :]
He ate his siblings in the womb.
He was a VSCO girl in 1986.
He has a bowl of nails for breakfast :]
He was out for a walk and some punk in a passing car shouted, "Do a kickflip!" so Chuck Norris kickflipped the earth.
Chuck Norris is so tough..he doesn't do pushups..he does Earthdowns.
EFFECTS OF CHUCK NORRIS
When he sneezes:A Supernova happens
When he is hungry:His stomach rumbles so hard that earthquakes happen
When he had farted:It blew a crater into earth and made dinosaurs extinct
When he sweats:Tsunamis happen
When he vomited:The digestive juices became lava at the core of the earth
When he glares at you:You get reduced to atoms
When he wants to kill you:He just blows and you will fly off to another galaxy
When he sneezes:A Supernova happens
When he is hungry:His stomach rumbles so hard that earthquakes happen
When he had farted:It blew a crater into earth and made dinosaurs extinct
When he sweats:Tsunamis happen
When he vomited:The digestive juices became lava at the core of the earth
When he glares at you:You get reduced to atoms
When he wants to kill you:He just blows and you will fly off to another galaxy
Chuck Norris can castle without a rook.
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