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Why I no longer cheat

hi folks, I wann share my experience in this cheating issue in chess, as many of you, I played chess on the internet for years, and I sometimes used to fire the engine during a game esp, when I got mad and angry ,I win many games , sometimes, I got caught and banned, as I used to have many accounts, other times esp. when I fire the engine from another computer (so I don't have to switch the page) and only use the engine in some moments not all the moves , it went without traces , after this I used to think that's this is wrong and in order to improve I have to depend on my mind and cheating will not give you anything except for some meaningless points and I got angry again for this bad behaviour ,but this has never stopped me from cheating it only went on and off ,but never stopped, the ONLY thing that really changed me and stopped all this vicious cycle not because am afrais of the strong anti-cheat "mechanisms "used in the internet chess playing arenas, not because cheating is harmful and dull your thinking, it's because the other dude I play who might be hundred miles away is actually playing me without seeing each other, suppositiously is not cheating and play me with some kind of trust so to speak, and even if he is cheating (which is unusual ) I dont want to be the one who "betray" such trust.
You might see this reason is ridiculous and morally absurd, but to anyone who cheats, please think about this , that whomever u playing with is a pesron like you , logged in to enjoy playing chess and build some kind of friendship and trust with you, why deceiving him ..
Thanks for the post.

I don't understand people who cheat, what's the point? If you cheat, your ELO or Glicko or whatever you're using isn't yours, the moves made in the games aren't even yours. You aren't the one that beat the person you're mad at, or your friend who you're trying to be better than. What you're essentially doing is watching someone play a computer, which seems pretty boring, and then fooling yourself into thinking that the computer is you.
for me, most of my cheating was when I get a very promising position out of a game and I just don't want to spoil it, the other less time is that when I get angry for losing a lot of points.
It only was occasional of course. I believe it's psycological issue, everyone know that cheating will not get you anything and sooner or later you will be caught
Thank you sir, for sharing this. I can respect a person who is able to not only awaken himself to an understanding of his own destructive behavior, but to go the further step and change it for the better.
I play chess because it relaxes me. And I enjoy pitting myself against another human in solving the various little puzzles that occur during the course of a game. I enjoy the blunders, even my own, for the opportunity to take this puzzle solving to another level.
Playing against a program can never be a pleasurable experience for me. By nature I am a fighter. With a human opponent, I always have a chance. With a program for an opponent, I have none.
The much greater issue though is what the covert use of programs says about not only the confidence of the user, but the moral decay of a society that functions in the same manner at all levels.
The only way out of this dangerous downward spiral for individuals or societies is to do exactly what you have done.
In reply to the points issue.
How can points possibly have any meaning whatsoever when a sizable percentage of the players are programs, not humans?
The only real ratings in the world are the ones you earn over the board.
Just like other crime,this is destroying society .- and watch about st peter?
also that any points you gain by cheating will eventually be lost,, if not caught first ! I don't know exactly,but something to do with the Glicko system, so , the only way to get high elo with cheating without losing it is to persist in cheating , then you will be easily caught,,this also apply to the victims ( that will regain the points lost ), so the points issue doesn;t matter really, the most important is the issue itself
"Wtf do you guys want? A badge? I used to cheat - I don't any longer? Well done! - you're not a cheater? No sympathy - no excuses, no reasoning, no discussion, no airtime, not interested."

Lol chunkymonkey...

"I used to beat my wife. I don't do it anymore. Here's why:

I realized that it's unfair to her. I will no longer beat her to a pulp."

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