English usage in America

As Shaw may once have said.
“England and America are two countries separated by the same language!”
As an expat Brit I sometimes have occasion to reflect on the differences in the use of English here in the US
Today for example I called the local water board to report a leak:-
Me- Good Morning madam I would like to report a water leak.
She- Yes sir where is it?
Me it is on the verge at the corner of Blue Ridge Ave and Haywood Road.
She, I'm sorry I do not understand 'Verge"
Me On the grass where the pavement would be if there were one.
She, Pavement?
Me, Yes er sidewalk, but of course there actually isn't one.
She One what Sir (slightly testy as she is suspecting a nutter)
Me, Sorry, I am English, let me try again. There is a water leak at Blue Ridge and Haywood. On the sidewalk.
She Where is it coming from?
Me From a little round metal thingy on the grass near the corner.
She Is it on someones property?
Me Well yes, I expect so

And so on...

Sorry, I don't speak British. Could you translate it please?

Normandy 1944

GI: They sent us here to die.
Tommy: They sent me yesterday.

we americans just improved on the english language.......especially in california!

So, I see some of you are not quite getting the point. @bille33 , @clousems
Or post something positive and encouraging like @goodnightofficial and @x_badatchess_x (thank you both)

When I first arrived in America my (American) wife took me out for some proper food to a place called The Three Pigs (Pulled pork an everyday special).
However on looking at the menu my wife wanted to change the hush puppies for something else thinklng I would not like them.
I was a little puzzled as L didn't really expect upmarket soft and expensive shoes made from the best pigskin leather to be avalable there.
Also I was at the Land of the sky chess tournament and ordered 'fish and chips' for lunch. Fortunately the waiter caught the reference and brought fish and fries which was what I wanted.
Do not even ask me about a 'pat on the fanny' unless you want to be arrested (for sexual assault (in England)).

Of course to digress a little. There is always rhyming slang. Much used in the Lodnon markets.
For example.
Fred "Here John, borrer us a pony will ya
John, Wotchawant a pony for then Fred,
Fred " I wanna put it on a dog at Catford don't I"