Breaking The Silence Online

The people essentially arguing that receiving harassment is ok because you can just block it have things so back to front its incomprehensible .

Someone mentioned earlier that harrassment online is 'the norm'. Just think about that for a second. Why should it be? The culture changes with one person at a time

@root7001

Bro, no offense, but what's the point? In the end it's just about experience, hours in chess. There are 2k rated women, they will win you otb. They will lose to Magnus though.

There are 1k rated men who will lose to anywho, like me.

If you want to prove something, you need to make real research. By clowny messages like this you just provide more reasons to women to alienate us from them as a whole gender.

@BaronVonChickenpants said in #54:
> The people essentially arguing that receiving harassment is ok because you can just block it have things so back to front its incomprehensible .

It is not ok, I admit. What are your suggestions and the end goal? It's a very complex topic to discuss. I don't have good ones.

@BaronVonChickenpants said in #49:
> #46 - WTAF! This demonstrates pretty much all the complaints raised in the initial post. "It's your own fault, you are too social, keep your head down, keep a low profile" . Why should /anyone/ have to do that just to play chess without harassment?
1) You call this harassment?

2) Well, by the way, it’s generally unclear what the author of the blog considers violence. Invitation to the team? Watching her games? Friend proposal?

3) You still have to agree that not all people put their photo on their profile.

And finally, I answer your question.
Yes, because the world works that way.

If you don't hide your jewelry well and go on the subway during rush hour, they may be stolen. Will this be your fault?
I would answer that, naturally, the thief is to blame, however, since there are a lot of such thieves and you know it, you will also be to blame for this.

Or here's an even more obvious example.

If you are balancing on the edge of the roof of a high-rise building, there is a chance that you will fall and die. Who is to blame for this - you or the laws of nature?

Therefore, I believe that there is no need to try to change the laws of nature and complain about them, or ban all suspicious people from traveling on the subway (at the same time, simultaneously insulting those people who seemed “suspicious”). I think you just need to know this and be more careful.

And yes. “harassment” on a chess website should not be considered a problem at all. Just block the person and the problem is solved.

@root7001 said in #57:
> 1) You call this harassment?
>
I didn't say you were harrassing anyone. I said you demonstrated all the typical victim blaming responses that the blog post raised.

>
> 3) You still have to agree that not all people put their photo on their profile.

Why shouldnt they?

> And finally, I answer your question.
> Yes, because the world works that way.

It's sad that it does but it doesn't have to. you don't need to accept it.

Removed the comments on the unrelated hypothetical situations that have no bearing on online harassment.

@let_me_di3 said in #56:
> It is not ok, I admit. What are your suggestions and the end goal? It's a very complex topic to discuss. I don't have good ones.

By being a advocate and calling out the poor behaviour when you witness it. Let other people know that their behaviour is not ok. Change minds and mindsets.

@root7001 said in #58:
> Look at the list of the strongest chess players. There is not a single woman there. Why is it “clownish” to say that people of different genders are wired differently?

When I said "clownish" I referred to your one particular message.

Now about wired differently. True.

Now about one that makes men better at chess:

1) I am not a top-100 (not even top 50% :D) player. So this won't include me and 99.99% of players as well :(

2) It is still a valid theory that men are generally better at chess as well as able to achieve higher level play of chess. Point is - it is a theory, not a straight fact.

You can't just look at the top players and say this with straight face without knowing history and reasons.
We also have statistics that say that there are more men in chess than women.
There are factors because of which men spend MORE TIME playing chess, and time is certainly correlated to skill.
Maybe if it was 1:1 proportion in everything we would see same amount of top women players.
There are other factors as well.
Because we don't know this, we need a research.
Research can be based on statistics, but pure statistics never say facts by itself, it's the symptom that may be wrongly interpreted.

P.S. I recommend you to read about Garry Kasparov vs the world chess game (and Irina Krush impact on it).

@root7001 said in #53:
> But women are better at raising things
>
> By the way, let's play for 3 minutes, and then we'll figure out whose brain is better

Naaa, I do not trust, ... your word playing about "raising things" makes you suspicious to be one of that persons, we girls write about here.

@BaronVonChickenpants said in #59:
> I didn't say you were harrassing anyone. I said you demonstrated all the typical victim blaming responses that the blog post raised.
You wrote: "Why should /anyone/ have to do that just to play chess without harassment?"
I wrote: "You call this harassment?"

My question was "do you call sexist messages harassment"? I think we shouldn't.

>
>
> Why shouldnt they?
Because this, in particular, the description shows that this person is socially inclined, that is, (s)he wants to make friends and communicate.
>
>
> It's sad that it does but it doesn't have to. you don't need to accept it.

I don't agree here. The laws of gravity cannot be abolished; a lot of effort must be spent to secure the metro from theft.
It’s much easier not to climb onto the roof, hide your valuables, and write in your profile that sexist messages will be reported.

And in general, if all advances towards girls were prohibited, couples would not exist :)
Let then either the girls take the first step themselves, or do not react so sharply to the offer to meet.

> Removed the comments on the unrelated hypothetical situations that have no bearing on online harassment.
No, these situations are directly related to this one and show that in some situations it is easier not to rebuild the world, but to adapt to the usual one.

@let_me_di3 said in #61:
> When I said "clownish" I referred to your one particular message.
>
> Now about wired differently. True.
>
> Now about one that makes men better at chess:
>
> 1) I am not a top-100 (not even top 50% :D) player. So this won't include me and 99.99% of players as well :(
>
> 2) It is still a valid theory that men are generally better at chess as well as able to achieve higher level play of chess. Point is - it is a theory, not a straight fact.
>
> You can't just look at the top players and say this with straight face without knowing history and reasons.
> We also have statistics that say that there are more men in chess than women.
> There are factors because of which men spend MORE TIME playing chess, and time is certainly correlated to skill.
> Maybe if it was 1:1 proportion in everything we would see same amount of top women players.
> There are other factors as well.
> Because we don't know this, we need a research.
> Research can be based on statistics, but pure statistics never say facts by itself, it's the symptom that may be wrongly interpreted.
>
> P.S. I recommend you to read about Garry Kasparov vs the world chess game (and Irina Krush impact on it).
Well, if men spend more time playing chess, and they like this sport more than women, then my statement that chess is a man’s sport follows from this!