@Mennonite said in #431:
>
> More generally speaking, simply trying to keep offending users off the site is a fool's errand. I agree with the blog post here that what's more important is setting a culture where such things do not go unchallenged.
When the automatic message says "banned," does that mean banned from the chat, or from the site?
Jokes aside, maybe what some of the posters here need is to press the "z" key when they start a match. Thank me later.
@Cassiodorus1 said in #433:
> When the automatic message says "banned," does that mean banned from the chat, or from the site?
@Mennonite It can mean either banned from playing with a red ToS violation flag on the account, or that they have had communication privileges removed ie they have been chat banned and can't message or chat in forums but can still play in the normal playing pool. Or it can mean Lichess has closed their account. That is my understanding.
@CrniTomislav said in #434:
> Jokes aside, maybe what some of the posters here need is to press the "z" key when they start a match. Thank me later.
You are still putting the onus and responsibility on the potential victim to avoid seeing the effect of the unwanted behaviour rather than trying to address the behaviour in the first place.
Zen mode may have it's uses if someone is especially put off by for example, very high-rated opponents or by the chat room in general, but I don't agree that we as a collective group of users just continue to tolerate and enable this sort of behaviour by doing the Lichess equivalent of putting a bag over our head so we can't see it.
@Jade-1 said in #430:
> Why was this post unlocked? It was locked yesterday.
Because some of the posters needed to take a break for everyone's sake.
Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read, share, and comment on this blog. When I wrote it I had no idea that it would reach so many people (14.7k at the time of this post). I was hoping that maybe 50 people might read it and maybe some of them might find some parts of it useful, informative, or encouraging in a way.
It has certainly sparked some debate, and quite rightly too since I believe this is an important issue.
Thank you also to all the men that have messaged me to say that you were not aware of the scale of this issue, and have pledged to not be silent or look the other way when you encounter this sort of behaviour in the future.
Far from this being a divisive article, I believe that this is not "women vs men" as some have tried to frame it, but rather that we all need to work together to create a respectful, pleasant, and inclusive online chess environment for all users.
I would appreciate it greatly if we could all stay on-topic and keep the debate civilised. There is no room for victim-blaming, whataboutery, reinforcing tired gender stereotypes, and so on. I don't mind different opinions, but please, let's have a respectful discussion.
Finally, thank you to the many people who have messaged me privately to thank and encourage me. Thank you also to those of you who said my writing has spurred you on to do better or to start new initiatives or better practices in your real-life chess clubs that are designed to improve the playing experience, safety, and welfare of female chess players. This has been the most rewarding outcome for me of writing this blog as I am encouraged that it will lead to tangible improvements for women and girls in chess.
We can all play our part.
Rosie
@Tbootpoo said in #302:
> Again, the term you used has not been disallowed, it is still there,and I just quoted it ????
It was deleted. A mod even then told me in this thread I couldn't say it.
Someone might consider setting a reminder for 5 years from today. The reminder should have the following questions:
1. Are the issues discussed in this thread still occurring?
2. Has the collective behavior improved?
@TurtleMat said in #409:
> Are you by any chance calling to spam and/or harassment here? it's not as subtle as you think, especially since your other contributions here gives the tone.
Absolutely not. I would never encourage that kind of toxic cyberbullying behavior. I want the chess community to be a safe space for all individuals no matter how unique or sensitive.
I urge everyone to take this article and its author VERY SERIOUSLY and treat them with utmost care and attention to detail. I compel everyone not to spam, bait or harass and certainly not to make ANY JOKES especially at the expense of the stunning and brave author. Thank you for your compliance.
