Any clean jokes?

Why didn't Little Susie cross the road?

She got hit by a bus.

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A boy with no arms asks his father "daddy, can I please get some chocolate from on the counter?"
His dad says "Go ahead son"
"But I can't reach it..."

"No arms, no chocolate."

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Seriously though, go listen to Brian Regan's comedy specials. He is known as the"King of clean comedy". (Edit: Seinfeld is clean but overrated and has not been dubbed with this title afaik). If you watch a whole Brian Regan special you'll note he's quite good. And his jokes are significantly better than the above.

Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
Its rated Rrrrr! :]

Lol

X: which food will fall fast pizza or bread.
Y:PIZZA cas it's fastfood

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

What happened when Steve Jobs met Adam and Eve?
Adam and Eve gave him an apple.
Steve was impressed and concluded that a walled garden business model was the way to go.
But then Eve asked for Apple Care.
Steve said sorry no Apple repair store nearby.
Adam and Eve gave up on apples and thought "we may as well be outta here".

no.

What do you call bodyguards who work outside of Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

@Nyghtguard The man would burn to death and his life ends.
Therefore he is warm for the rest of his short life.