This game nearly made me consider leaving chess forever

And I gave up my advantage again (this time it resulted in a draw after I played extremely poorly positionally without a clue of what I did wrong):

The first game's mistake isn't as crushing as you might think, a bishop against a rook is worse but not lost. You can still create threats, and if you made a mistake your opponent can too.

The mistake in the second game was trading your bishop for the knight on move 19. Black's knight is worse than your bishop and black's pieces are cramped up and stuck in multiple pins, but capturing their knight solves both problems for them.

The tactic in the first game appeared because of a positional feature...your uncastled king...you seemed to develop very well but neglected castling for some reason, castling should be a top priority to protect the sensitive king...

That's not really a position to castle in, the pawns are broken on both sides. The problem was he tried to kick the knight with the wrong pawn, the c pawn would have broken the pin.

Actually, I'm curious what would have happened if instead of saving the bishop, you just captured the knight and exposed the queen to your rook. If she takes the rook, king e2 exposes the other rook, the black queen is stuck in the corner, your pawn is breaking open the c file... 19. axb4 makes for an interesting position.

@A_0123456
It happens with everyone at sometime. So, should everyone leave chess?
Well, in advantageous positions, one tends to play worse than before.
You just need to think properly and since you play correspondence it's hard to make a mistake with enough time to think. Even though the position seem normal, understand it clearly and only then play your moves.

Yeah You are not alone. I also sometimes blunder a piece or pawns in a totally winning position -_-

Blundering is part of the game. Generally speaking--be very careful when your queen is on the same diagonal as your king--it's just rife for nasty pins.

I'm in no position to give advice--but I would recommend seeking to understand the positions on the board versus reacting move by move. There are some great videos and articles on identifying weaknesses in a position--including your own.

I've fallen into those blunders many times, and I anticipate I'll fall into plenty more.

@dnowmects
I believe that castling queenside on move 12 has to be better than b3 surely??

@NickUK1969
I don't think so; both bishops are aimed at queenside now, and the queen can come in, and without b3 the knight can jump to c4 to harass the queen and weaken the queenside pawns further. Kingside, maybe, but I wouldn't want to castle queenside into that.

Disclaimer: I'm fairly new, so if I get this wrong I expect to hear about it. You gotta learn one way or another, right?
So regarding game #1 I think it's move 17 Bb5+ would it have been better to kick the knight with the c pawn thus still allowing the queen to protect against the fork of the king and rook?
Cheers!

Update: After analyzing the game, I proved once again I was wrong. So much to learn and not enough time life! One of these days though...