There's no need to report.
You just need to grow up a bit.
He persuaded you into a draw as he was loosing. Making the best of a bad situation it is.
And you failed to execute/withstand pressure in chat. Never chat during a game.
He was like : Wanna play the game? Welcome to play the game. Now play on.
There's just more to the game than just the game.
This is kinda just hostile for no reason, and ignores half of what I said, so I'm gonna go ahead and ignore it. Thank you for your input, but there was no need, and it won't be heeded.
Emnites, I liked your motivation to accept that draw! You wanted to be nice, you had a good intention.
He only asked for a draw because he didn't want to face the pain of losing! People think that strong people are those that don't lose at all. But, I say that the strongest of all are those that are able to lose. That lose and are okay with it.
Winning is easier than losing!
He's thinking like: "I played badly, but he accepted the draw! So now I don't have to feel bad about playing badly! At the end of the day, it's like I didn't play badly at all!". But that's clearly a silly way to think. Only someone very silly would believe that that makes sense. Yet, it's what he tells himself! So, he's taking himself to be a fool.
So, OP, what I'm saying is that, I don't think that you were the one that was disrespected the most today!
I wouldn't be angry at the guy. He's just someone stuck in some weird shit. Don't make much out of it my man. It isn't you that has a problem, it's him. In my eyes, you were the winner today.
@NightsHeron Thanks for the kind words. I didn't want to make such a fuss over it, but for one I am admittedly annoyed that I dashed my likely last chance for years to beat a gm (without odds) in any scenario, and more importanly, as I said, this guy has a large following on here. I felt like people needed to hear this, and I totally agree with what you've said. As i mentioned, he would have lost nothing in playing on, and I imagine as you do, this was simply somebody in a bad spot trying to retain their pride.
I agree that P4wnQ was needlessly hostile, so yes you should ignore it.
There is the view that offering a draw and/or pressuring your opponent is simply one of the possible moves when playing chess, though. I do not know if this is what P4wnQ meant to say with his reply, nor does it matter, as I'll instead respond to the 'just a move' idea generally. I disagree with that view, and think people are just using it as an excuse to bad behavior, but even if it were true, we can think through its consequences:
Responding to bad behavior, during the game or via a complaint afterwards, is all just a move as well: Not chatting/responding during the game is one way to go but not always an option: you probably want to remain polite yourself. Regardless, any time someone offers a draw and you don't see it, you should feel free to decline. If you need to verbally respond and want to remain respectful, you can say things like:
- you can help me analyse the game after the match, but I currently do no see why this is a draw.
- if you can see why this is a draw, you should have no trouble defending until I make a mistake or start to see it too.
- I'm not smart enough to see the draw, so you'll have to suffer my stupidity a bit longer.
- I'm just curious to see how this game plays out, I'll learn so much if I keep playing.
On whether or not to report: it's not always fun to be the person filing a complaint, and it can be scary at times. There can definitely be social reasons not to and it's hard to give general advice without knowing the specific situation (giving such an advice is like saying: you should always castle). As a rule of thumb: if filing a complaint is more defensible than the events that led to it, then yes, I think you should go for it. When in doubt, also go for it, as it may improve your judgement on how to deal with such situations in the future. If you get a response that suggests that pressuring the opponent is 'just a move' one plays, then so is filing a complaint. Just like losing games is sometimes a result of bad moves on the board, being reprimanded or suffering other consequences is sometimes a result of bad behavior 'off the board'.
@sjcjoosten woah! A thought out response. Thank you. I will say that we were chatting in the main chat, and as I said, he was totally adamant that I draw. Multiple times I asked why, and got no response. I went above and beyond with my respectfulness, accepting the draw, so his aforementioned response made me tick. I do feel as though they used their position and the situation (a simul) to act in a predatory fashion. Paired with their insulting language and carelessness, I was quick to report them. The more I think about the situation, the more I feel as though this report is less in the face of their actions, but more to their following on this site. They are by no means unknown, and such blatant childishness from a popular figure-no less a GM-has lead me to believe that I was in the right. I doubt my move is checkmate, but I feel as though it is winning.
Players on Lichess are supposed to behave decently in the chat and the forums. I cannot fault you for reporting rudeness and abuse.
But, on the off-chance that something like this happens again, you can always turn the chat off by turning on Zen mode or clicking that little green square in the chat box, which toggles the chat on and off.
Then you can just play on and ignore the draw offers, and possibly beat a GM!
@KeithDenning thanks for the info! Personally I love chatting with people, and even with hindsight wouldve taken the draw offer given what's come of the situation, but that's good to know. I knew the box could be toggled but I was unsure of it's use.
Based on what I saw in the simul's chat, I don't think the GM's behavior is particularly egregious. I couldn't find where you asked why he wanted a draw (at least not before accepting the draw). If he said he had to leave because something important came up and offered a draw only to escape from losing, it would be different, but offering a draw without explanation in a losing position isn't particularly unsportsmanlike, IMO. The GM's comment is a bit rude, but it seems to be the result of miscommunication more than anything.
It also would have been perfectly acceptable for you to refuse the draw offer regardless of circumstances.
Your willingness to agree to a draw in the event that there was some other, non-chess related reason the GM didn't want to or couldn't continue playing is commendable.
@doom12384 as explained, this was a simul so in my mind, time was of the essence for both sides and I innocently thought he had an actual reason to ask for a draw. That should cover maybe the first half of your comment. If you read my original statement, I actually said I declined the draw, and if you really did read the chat, you're well aware of his asking me to offer a draw. His rudeness can be a result of whatever it would like to be, but for a large community leader and a GM, it is absolutely unacceptable. Thanks for your final comment, personally I genuinely didn't think something so devious was going on, as a direct result of his standings in the community. I would never imagine someone of his caliber having the audacity to pull that, and I certainly hope the Lichess team will agree.
