Done, but I won't be bragging about it.
http://fr.lichess.org/eVpDYt8eGwUtFeel free not to look at the game!
Sorry about all that self-pity but this thing is as frustrating as they get: it is gentle (or teasing) enough to leave a few pieces hanging around, but with the combination of my dying computer and bullet skills (not necessarily in that order) even reaching move 30 felt like an achievement in almost every game. At that point of course it still has more than fify seconds to spare...
It hit me with some cool lines, though (and some quick mates...). Another striking aspect is that it makes so many blunders you never know if it is moving around aimlessly or loading a catapult. I know it should have been fairly obvious but this one whacked me pretty hard on the back of the head:
http://fr.lichess.org/agYofLfptp7I (after 5.Nf6 I guess I felt pretty safe... let's grab as many pawns as possible and trade qu.. BANG! :-D)