I dont have the mental strength to play this game. I get very upset when I lose. Always. And I ask for pity draws when im losing almost always. I cannot understand how dumb I am and that 99% of the time I cannot play at full strength because I am tired or anxious. And all this after over 10k games total. I should be happy im close to my peak rating in rapid but im not. I make the dumbest mistakes and I cannot forgive myself. Idk
Yeah well I feel you brother. I lost so many won games I lost count. I was once 2400 rapid on my peak and now I don't even dare to explore the 2200s again, cause I am so scared of feeling frustrated and stupid again...
Personally I think there are three reasons for that:
1) We lack concentration, patience, time and food
2) We lack willpower, because unofficial friendly games are kind of pointless with no money or admiration from anyone, our brain just doesn't care enough
3) We are bad at endgames, still. I often just don't know how to convert my middle game advantage properly.
Personally I think there are three reasons for that:
1) We lack concentration, patience, time and food
2) We lack willpower, because unofficial friendly games are kind of pointless with no money or admiration from anyone, our brain just doesn't care enough
3) We are bad at endgames, still. I often just don't know how to convert my middle game advantage properly.
I don't know, maybe you should try to get enjoyment out of reading about other players' chess stories. Seirawan's "Chess Duels" or Donner's "The King".
u dont owe urself any less then what you would do for others - forgive & forget - its just a game
I guess its just your personality,Nothing wrong with it ,its just how you react to things.I have a friend who is a very nice guy but becomes a monster if he loses.He is not a bad person at all.You are not a bad person at all also.Some people cant stand losing.
Hey, I totally get it. Chess isn’t just about strategy; it’s an intense mental and emotional game, especially after playing over 10k games! It can feel discouraging to put in so much effort and still feel blocked by tiredness, stress, and mistakes.
But being close to your peak rating is proof of all the progress you've made. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and try to make chess enjoyable again, rather than seeing it only in terms of your rating. You could try shorter games or explore new openings just for fun, without any self-judgment. And remember, everyone makes mistakes—even the best players. Allowing yourself room for error can really help you build confidence in the long run.
Also, consider playing less often, and only when you genuinely want to play. If your main motivation is just to raise your rating, it’s easy to burn out and end up frustrated. Hang in there—you've already achieved a lot by getting this far!
But being close to your peak rating is proof of all the progress you've made. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and try to make chess enjoyable again, rather than seeing it only in terms of your rating. You could try shorter games or explore new openings just for fun, without any self-judgment. And remember, everyone makes mistakes—even the best players. Allowing yourself room for error can really help you build confidence in the long run.
Also, consider playing less often, and only when you genuinely want to play. If your main motivation is just to raise your rating, it’s easy to burn out and end up frustrated. Hang in there—you've already achieved a lot by getting this far!
For me, lapses in concentration are the number one bogey.
Don't play chess at the end of a bad day, in order to unwind.
Get the requisite amount of deep sleep.
Don't play chess on a full stomach
Limit the number of games you play. Play when you are mentally sharp. For most people, that is in the morning after breakfast and exercise.
Try correspondence chess, at least for a while. The rules and time control allow you to practice a system of thought that you can carry over to your real-time games.
manage your canabis intake,, and white sugar.
Vitamin B12 is suppose to be big for chessplayers.
Drink chocolate milk. :)
Don't play chess at the end of a bad day, in order to unwind.
Get the requisite amount of deep sleep.
Don't play chess on a full stomach
Limit the number of games you play. Play when you are mentally sharp. For most people, that is in the morning after breakfast and exercise.
Try correspondence chess, at least for a while. The rules and time control allow you to practice a system of thought that you can carry over to your real-time games.
manage your canabis intake,, and white sugar.
Vitamin B12 is suppose to be big for chessplayers.
Drink chocolate milk. :)
@chessguy_2025 said in #7:
> For me, lapses in concentration are the number one bogey.
>
> Don't play chess at the end of a bad day, in order to unwind.
> Get the requisite amount of deep sleep.
> Don't play chess on a full stomach
> Limit the number of games you play. Play when you are mentally sharp. For most people, that is in the morning after breakfast and exercise.
> Try correspondence chess, at least for a while. The rules and time control allow you to practice a system of thought that you can carry over to your real-time games.
> manage your canabis intake,, and white sugar.
> Vitamin B12 is suppose to be big for chessplayers.
> Drink chocolate milk. :)
Except that chocolate milk usually has a lot of sugar in it, so...
> For me, lapses in concentration are the number one bogey.
>
> Don't play chess at the end of a bad day, in order to unwind.
> Get the requisite amount of deep sleep.
> Don't play chess on a full stomach
> Limit the number of games you play. Play when you are mentally sharp. For most people, that is in the morning after breakfast and exercise.
> Try correspondence chess, at least for a while. The rules and time control allow you to practice a system of thought that you can carry over to your real-time games.
> manage your canabis intake,, and white sugar.
> Vitamin B12 is suppose to be big for chessplayers.
> Drink chocolate milk. :)
Except that chocolate milk usually has a lot of sugar in it, so...
Take break from chess if you are not having fun. Try other activities, maybe variants, there are a lot of other board games.
You shouldn't continue playing a game you don't find enjoyable or makes you consistently feel bad. I suggest taking the time to reassess why you want to play.
You shouldn't continue playing a game you don't find enjoyable or makes you consistently feel bad. I suggest taking the time to reassess why you want to play.
In the 10 minute game, lichess.org/WKkTIQcO
during the ~20 seconds that you thought after 1 d4 d5 2 c4 e6 3 Nc3 Nf6 4 cxd5 exd5 5 Bg5 e6 6 e3 h6 7 Bh4 Qb6 8 Qb3 Be7 9 Nf3 O-O 10 Bd3 Re8 11 O-O Ne4 12 Bxe4 dxe4 13 Nd2 Bxh4 14 Ndxe4 Bf5 15 Nd6, did you consider 15...Qxb3 instead of 15...Bd3 ?
during the ~20 seconds that you thought after 1 d4 d5 2 c4 e6 3 Nc3 Nf6 4 cxd5 exd5 5 Bg5 e6 6 e3 h6 7 Bh4 Qb6 8 Qb3 Be7 9 Nf3 O-O 10 Bd3 Re8 11 O-O Ne4 12 Bxe4 dxe4 13 Nd2 Bxh4 14 Ndxe4 Bf5 15 Nd6, did you consider 15...Qxb3 instead of 15...Bd3 ?
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