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Thank you for this short but important and heartfelt reminder. Thank you.
@farbrausch said in #2:
> Thank you for this short but important and heartfelt reminder. Thank you.
You are welcome
Ty!
As someone struggling with suicidal thoughts for a long time, I have often asked myself the exact questions posed in that article (blog post) and a m looking forward to the discussion and to answers by other fellow members, since I have not yet found answers myself.
I find my situation of life as hopeless as described in that article. And I often explained to others that it doesn't seem worth to me to continue to suffer endlessly and why I thus think about abandoning by citing the exact explanation given that article, i.e. that in a utterly hopeless chess position I would also resign if based on my best estimates there really is no chance of winning.
And in chess you even get the benefit of the possibility that your opponent may blunder.
Life doesn't give you that chance, because you don't play against any other opponent than yourself.
I overall liked the article very much, but as someone affected by suicidal thoughts, I did not appreciate that the author wrote as if the possibility and even urge to give up your life does not exist:
@Zhrakos said in #1:
> In chess, there’s an option to resign. You tip your king, accept the loss, and walk away. Life doesn’t allow that luxury. It insists you keep playing, even when the struggle feels endless, even when your strength is worn thin.
Pretending that suicidal thoughts and suicides are not real and not an option that people actually end up taking, doesn't help and therefore I felt bad, when I read this passage. Ending our lives also is not a "luxury" (as you put it), but a measure of last resort for most people, when they see no other options. It's a common misconception to think that someone who took their life wanted to die. Most of them wanted to live but couldn't find a way and couldn't stand the suffering and the pain anymore.
Going back to the article, it would be better to be frank about the reality: namely that we humans are the decision-makers of our own life – we choose how to live it (within the limits of our means). We can choose to try to live as long and as happily as possible. And we can also end our own lives if we choose to do so. Negating this obvious reality does neither help with the problem nor help in better understanding it.
I would find it better to acknowledge that this choice obviously exists and then go on and explain why – unless on a chess board where a lot of folks give up – life merits not giving up on it.
@weeknights said in #5:
>
Thank you for sharing your story and for opening up so honestly. I can’t begin to imagine how heavy these feelings must be for you, and I’m deeply moved that my words connected with you on such a personal level.
You’re absolutely right
life can feel like a game where the rules are stacked against us, where we can’t rely on blunders or outside forces to offer an escape. Writing this blog, I wanted to reflect on the struggle of pushing forward, but I realize now I didn’t fully acknowledge how powerful the urge to resign can be in life.
Your courage to keep playing, despite feeling trapped in such a difficult position, is a kind of strength that deserves immense respect. Please know you’re not alone, and there are people and resources out there who want to support you. I hope this discussion provides some solace or understanding, and if there’s any way I can contribute to that, I’d be honored
Oh and to your second comment
Thank you for your honesty and for pointing this out. You're absolutely right ; ignoring the reality of suicidal thoughts or the decisions people face doesn't help. It’s something I should have acknowledged more openly, and I’m sorry if it felt like I was avoiding the truth.
Life is full of choices, and yes, sometimes those choices are incredibly painful and difficult. What I hoped to convey but maybe didn’t fully express is that even in the darkest moments, life has a way of surprising us. It’s not always fair, and it’s not easy, but I genuinely believe there’s something worth holding onto, even when it feels impossible to see.
I appreciate you sharing this perspective, it’s made me reflect on how I write about these topics. Discussions like this are so important, and I hope we can keep having them in a way that helps everyone feel heard.
Wonderful content. I'll give you a follow
@Zhrakos in #6:
What a great way to respond to my comment! I also appreciate your honesty and self-reflection. It was a delight to read your comment #6. Thank you for your support and encouragement.
I don't blame you for not having thought about the subject from my angle and perspective. To be fair, before I developed these thoughts, I wouldn't have either. Me too, I only now understand how this type of situation feels now that I am in it. Beforehand I also had many misconceptions. It's something you (almost) have to experience yourself to fully grasp what it's like.
Yes, you are right that suicidal thoughts can become quite powerful (or else we wouldn't end up succumbing to them). Luckily the urge to continue life is also very powerful and most of the times holds the upper hand fortunately.
I am here if you have any questions.
What I would find interesting and helpful (as an extension of the current article or for a future article) are 2 things:
(1) You make a powerful comparison between a losing chess position and life on the losing street. There are certainly many parallels (therefore I have compared my own life to a losing chess position for many years already). But there are also differences. It would be helpful, if you could point them out. I already named one difference in comment in #5:
> And in chess you even get the benefit of the possibility that your opponent may blunder.
> Life doesn't give you that chance, because you don't play against any other opponent than yourself.
Maybe you can explain these and other differences in your article.
(2) It would be helpful to add thoughts about the difference between abandoning a chess game and abandoning your life, because many players abandon chess games when they feel hopeless. It would be helpful to explain why we shouldn't do the same with our lives. Obviously the stakes are much higher, but that's not all. I'm also thinking that the governing principles for this decision are different (not just the stakes). It might be worth to shed some light on that so as no to encourage other folks (who compare their situation in life to a losing chess position) to give up just as they would give up a losing chess position.
Hey @weeknights, thanks so much for your thoughtful comment! I really appreciate the insight you shared, especially about how life doesn’t give us the chance to rely on our opponent making a mistake like in chess. That’s such an important point, and I’ll definitely dive deeper into that in future articles.
Also, I hadn’t fully explored the comparison between abandoning a chess game and abandoning life before. You’re absolutely right—it’s not just the stakes that are different, but how we approach those decisions. I’ll be adding more on that for sure.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. It means a lot! If you ever want to chat more, feel free to reach out anytime!
There is a quote that relates, that I think highlights the difference between life and chess, and that has helped me when I have felt exactly this: “life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced” - Kierkegaard
Thank you for this blog post, as someone who suffers with the existential, for which chess is an escape, it means something to find others I can relate to - so will drop everyone who has commented here a follow if possible, feel free to connect with me