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Dealing with negative emotions

The desire to always win, might be provoking a tantrum outburst.
A life skill solution, maybe needed to control that emotion.
How about trying to ignore the result of the game.
If disabling the chat is not a solution, try the kid mode preference setting.

Moving quickly into another game may help forget the other unpleasant game.

Handling anger is a required life skill.
Maybe finding a common solution will help, like walking away and cooling off.

Or you may chose to do nothing about that anger, but chose to reduce that anger in a chat room to a single word: Zut!

If your patient during a game you should be able to accept a result. Speed chess is not a patient game. It's a game of quick reactions.

Try playing without the pride of wanting to always win.
Enjoy your leisure time.
There is nothing more satisfying in chess than to cause the opponent to have a mental breakdown. Chess is a fascist game that could have been invented by the Nazis. The ultimate goal is not to just win or lose, but to crush the enemy and confront him with his intellectual inferiority. I enjoy every opponent's tantrum, but unfortunately I have never provoked a suicide or at least some deliberate self-harm like cutting onelf. That would be my ultimate satisfaction, to see the opponent break down into pieces.
When you are feeling very angry over losing and don't know what to do with it, it is better to go to a place where, alone, you can express the anger without projecting negativity to others.
@Quetzalcoatl86

Be lucky I'm not a moderator. Your ass would be banned. What you wrote is not an opinion. But is rather an egregious attempt to incite and provoke discourse.
@Bolafria

Doesn't seem your getting much love here.
Don't worry; I feel ya.

It has nothing to do with rating (least for me); I couldn't care less.

At times; losing in chess can be a slap in the face as some losses are a insult to intelligence and your mind in general.
You also could be speaking of situations like...maybe +increments and they are down to a few seconds while you have minutes yet they never ever run out. I know i've made people mad doing that; and have gotten annoyed myself.

When you rage; or at least when I do; I'm usually just mad at myself for doing something stupid.
Everyonce in a while; your opponent can actually do something to incite it; but there isnt much in chess that causes you to lose other than your own failures and mistakes.

A lot of people rage; whether they want to admit it or not. Whether that comes across in chat or via rage quit its all the same in reality.
Gotta try to not let it get under your skin.
Switch variants maybe, to try to have a 'fun' game.

If a players play style is bothersome; dont poke the bear.
Go play someone else.

@mdinnerspace
@Quetzalcoatl86
That appeared to be a misguided attempt at humor. Might have succeeded had he not gone down the dark road of joking about suicide and self harm.
But, what can you expect of a Final Fantasy fan? Or even worse, a fan of mythological bird snakes.
@Bolafria #1
I hear you, and I know about sometimes getting angry at myself, when playing chess, or when things with non chess things don't go the way I wanted or expected it. However, luckily, already as a child I learned to not be verbally abusive.
Just wanted to share with you that quitting chess will likely not be the solution. The anger is inside of you and might appear with non chess things again. You can run around the planet 80 times, but you will likely be carrying the same problem with you. Perhaps it is time to get more into peace with oneself.
A chess friend gave me a book to read some weeks ago. It is about Wu Wei, the art of "doing nothing". Get into the flow of life, and bend along with it, rather than fighting it, and creating inner conflict.
Inner peace is a pleasant state of mind, so to say.
And calmness, friendliness and patience is something we can work on.

For further reading :
www.thoughtco.com/wu-wei-the-action-of-non-action-3183209
http://www.tao-in-you.com/wuwei.html
qz.com/876067/the-chinese-principle-wu-wei-eliminates-the-need-for-lifehacks/
Its just a game. If its negatively effecting your emotions you need to take a step back.
I think that is a normal reaction. This is a good opportunity to develop self controle and deal with defeats. Yes, chess is a great resource to work on your bad feelings. It is the best therapy you will ever have.

What you need to do is... just do nothing. Yes, that's it. The anger and other bad emotions will leave you in a few minutes (10 to 15 minutes, 30 minutes at maximum). Just let the bad feeling go away and control yourself. Don't have a tantrum, that's bad for you.

Be a gentleman and congrat your opponent. He is doing the same thing as you: trying to win. And he did. So calm down, he is right on what he is doing. Or just leave the room (resign first, of course) and do another thing.

The first emotion (anger) will probably happen sometimes, you can't avoid it, because you are human. But you can deal with it way much better. Don't use this anger against your opponent. Try to learn from your mistakes and see what you did wrong at the game and that's it. And be patient, wait for some time (around 15 minutes), you will be fine. In the meantime, just sit there and do nothing. Believe me, it helps. Good luck on your chess and on your life!

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