@xDoubledragon said in #1:
> Doesn't matter if you're good or bad at chess, nearly all people what focus on ranking are never satisfied, they always wants to improve and get satisfied for getting better ranking rather than enjoying playing the game, it starts to be number game, where you learn how to get higher numbers, stronger you're more obsessed with numbers, they are obssesed over winning games but someone wins, someone loses. You fell happy after winning some games only to destoy it because you lost some games, you're always comparing to others, forgetting that you only see ranking, notching else, ranking obsession leads for insecurites like for example: levy after losing, ranking he got emocionaly crushed, people don't realize how much they care about elo until they lose it and get mad for how hard they worked on. Studing, learning boring lectures, studing theory, analizing games for hours, for what getting 100 elo and still being hooked on getting better, competitive nature for me, is simply unhealthy and I know it isn't just my problem
Hello, you make an interesting point. I am going to share a story with you.
I used to go to group therapy. The psychiatrist with 25 years of experience was talking about this very thing with me. He always said that there were two 2 energies that everyone has - negative and positive energy. When we have more positive energy compared to negative one, we are happy, grateful, kind and we can lead fulfilling lives. However when we have more negative energy compared to positive one, we are angry, aggressive towards other people or we are sad, depressed even.
When we have good relationships, consume positive things such as listening to positive songs, we receive positive energy. When we watch horror movies, listen to negative songs with swear words in them, we receive negative energy. When we compete in sports what happens when we lose? We either get angry or we get sad. Both of these emotions are negative which means we
receive negative energy when we experience them. Even if we sometimes win there's always going to be people that will beat us and we will get sad or angry. Winning occasionally is not good enough. How could it be? The world we live in rewards only the people that are the best at something.
Take chess for example. In tournaments only the top 3 receive medals and all the attention is on them. People say that they are hard working, dedicated and they deserved to win over others after all they won more games. Sure they worked hard but does that mean that the players that did not get top 3 didn't work as hard? Of course not. Some may even have worked harder than the winners but perhaps were unlucky or not as gifted. Their work is not celebrated because they did not win they are losers and
being a loser is bad in this world.
Competing with other people makes us compare each other and as we all know comparison is the thief of joy.
For this reason alone the psychiatrist I had is against all competing activities. He urged me to try activities such as walks in nature, playing an instrument (you don't compete against others).