tl;dr How do you handle writing about the gender of those whose gender is unknown given the facelessness of the internet?
It's 2024; and being the kindly and careful hippo that by maturing I have gradually become, I prefer not to misgender others.
So, when I can remember to do so, and am not at that moment being impatient with the world, I try to use the admittedly awkward "he or she" or "his or hers" when posting to the forum (and hope that even that binary usage will be enough not to cause unnecessary angst). That is, I employ that usage unless I have: 1) previously seen some clear evidence of the other poster's preference (regardless of whether or not it is rooted in genetics); and 2) I manage to remember that evidence at the time I am writing (which, for the older hippo, is not assured); and 3) I'm not at that moment distracted by some other thoughts.
It used to be the convention (much as the Spanish language does with groups) to assume the male gender unless there was clear evidence to the contrary. But now? Many properly (I believe) compensate by doing more typing than we used to do.
I find the extra typing the best, though awkward, solution, and gradually began to lament when I omitted to do it; I wondered, for a time, about the possibility of a "he said / she said" list, which might be consulted when addressing or referencing another member -- but that's a bad idea. Unfortunately, any "list" of personal information can be abused online, so I don't recommend making or adding to any such list.
Much better than a list would be an agreed convention to be used when writing with regard to those about whom we have no dependable personal knowledge. Such a convention is the resource I seek to find. Has Lichess itself weighed in with any pertinent, written suggestion?
In short, I wonder how others manage to handle this writing and thinking task most effectively and comfortably. That's the point of this thread.
What do people feel is the acceptable forum convention for handling the gender of another poster whose preferences are unknown or not properly remembered? And can we all be forgiven if we accidentally screw that up? Since the majority of chess players are (for now, at least) male, is it okay to assume "he" and "his" ?
Given my enormous respect for certain genius Polgars and Cramlings (and many other phenomenal female players now and in history), such an assumption seems unfair and would make me uneasy now. Even hippos can grow wiser as they age.
Furthermore, must I vote a certain way merely because I try, not without some circumstantial failures, to be conscientious about trying to observe gender preference when writing? I think not. There are good and conscientious men (and women) in most parties. I won't say "all" parties, because I have not surveyed them all, and I can imagine some horrors that might or might not exist.
It's 2024; and being the kindly and careful hippo that by maturing I have gradually become, I prefer not to misgender others.
So, when I can remember to do so, and am not at that moment being impatient with the world, I try to use the admittedly awkward "he or she" or "his or hers" when posting to the forum (and hope that even that binary usage will be enough not to cause unnecessary angst). That is, I employ that usage unless I have: 1) previously seen some clear evidence of the other poster's preference (regardless of whether or not it is rooted in genetics); and 2) I manage to remember that evidence at the time I am writing (which, for the older hippo, is not assured); and 3) I'm not at that moment distracted by some other thoughts.
It used to be the convention (much as the Spanish language does with groups) to assume the male gender unless there was clear evidence to the contrary. But now? Many properly (I believe) compensate by doing more typing than we used to do.
I find the extra typing the best, though awkward, solution, and gradually began to lament when I omitted to do it; I wondered, for a time, about the possibility of a "he said / she said" list, which might be consulted when addressing or referencing another member -- but that's a bad idea. Unfortunately, any "list" of personal information can be abused online, so I don't recommend making or adding to any such list.
Much better than a list would be an agreed convention to be used when writing with regard to those about whom we have no dependable personal knowledge. Such a convention is the resource I seek to find. Has Lichess itself weighed in with any pertinent, written suggestion?
In short, I wonder how others manage to handle this writing and thinking task most effectively and comfortably. That's the point of this thread.
What do people feel is the acceptable forum convention for handling the gender of another poster whose preferences are unknown or not properly remembered? And can we all be forgiven if we accidentally screw that up? Since the majority of chess players are (for now, at least) male, is it okay to assume "he" and "his" ?
Given my enormous respect for certain genius Polgars and Cramlings (and many other phenomenal female players now and in history), such an assumption seems unfair and would make me uneasy now. Even hippos can grow wiser as they age.
Furthermore, must I vote a certain way merely because I try, not without some circumstantial failures, to be conscientious about trying to observe gender preference when writing? I think not. There are good and conscientious men (and women) in most parties. I won't say "all" parties, because I have not surveyed them all, and I can imagine some horrors that might or might not exist.