Response to "Pro Dating Tip"

@AntiLiteracyActivist said in a recent thread:
“I am sure everyone has seen that women have ridiculous standards for men, where you notice women that are average demanding a man make a lot of money/ have a car ANDDDDDDD be OVER 6'0" tall.

But the thing about women is that they don't seem to know what 6'0" actually is, they just know it's a status symbol or something.”

OH! *Face-palm* So that’s why my kiddos all turned out on the short side. As for my dear husband’s traits, “two out of three ain’t bad”, as the old ballad goes. Pro dating tip for women: bring a meter stick or tape-measure when you go out. If your date falls short of your refined standards, do your best Meatloaf impression with this song:

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere,
I wanted someone who met all my demands,
There’s nothing left that I can share.

And maybe you make lots of dough,
And maybe Lamborghinis are the cars you drive,
With shoes your height’s just shy of five feet nine,
I wish you wouldn’t stay with me here.

And all I can do is keep on telling you . . .

Well, you know the rest. Good luck, ladies! This pro tip should save you countless wasted hours – wait, even years – of time with men who don’t measure up!

;)

Still, my man got rejected because he wasn't 6' 3", even if he was a millionaire and had a Lamborghini.

@Passionate_Player said in #2:
> Still, my man got rejected because he wasn't 6' 3", even if he was a millionaire and had a Lamborghini.
you just wasted ur life on that

@rachel8 @Passionate_Player @DaniAlYazdAni @AntiLiteracyActivist

Where is the original "Pro Dating Tip" thread?

I had written a post there, but I can't find it anymore!

Was it deleted by lichess?
I'm almost scared ... but why was this done?

Do you have an explanation for this?

If I had an explanation for this, I would literally be dating with someone.

@Tenakel

They said it was trolling so they removed it, I don't really understand how anyone could perceive it that way, but that's what they said.

@Tenakel @AntiLiteracyActivist
It was deleted by a moderator.
I would agree if they just closed it, however I personally don't think it deserved a deletion.

Because I don't think it was hostile by intention nor interpretation. The intention itself seemed humourous.
And the interpretation very vaguely could be subjectively harmful to a few. But not enough to warrant a deletion.

I think it was closed, partly because it is related to stereotyping women. Which you can do, if it's humourous. However it's also a thin line.
But it was simultaneously related to dating. (Again, I thought it was intended as humour)

I can understand that Lichess is extra protective against threads and topic that jokes about women.
Because Lichess is still mostly is a male dominant site.
So threads about dating, even if only joking, could potentially make the few women/girls on this site feel very uncomfortable?

Lichess wants this site to be for everyone, so sometimes a moderator makes decisions.
And even if I personally didn't see anything in that thread, bad enough for a deletion. (Personally I would have closed it, because I too considered it spam)

However I think Lichess overreacted, but I also think they did so with good intentions.

Remember chess is still fairly unpopular with women, and Lichess want to promote it to all.

Yeah, some topics get deleted, although they actually produce great conversations and ask interesting questions, other topics, that are uselsess (#1 deleted the comment again) are closed as for everyone to see. And others are left open, although they don't really contribute to much of anything, really.
In this case I get it. Would I have acted that way? No. But I am not a mod - and I am glad that I am not.
The moderator's action consistency varies a lot - but maybe this is a good thing, as this offers different points of views.
Either way, I never really wanted to get my free pro dating tip (dates are a healthy food!).

Thank you everyone for the quick replies!

If I remember correctly, the "Pro Dating Tip" thread existed for several days with quite a few posts (I think there were at least 12).

I stopped following the progress of the posts after a period of time, but until then I didn't find the text offensive, misogynistic, or sexist. Therefore I cannot understand the deletion of this thread by a lichess mod after several days. I could only understand that if it would have been deleted very shortly after it was created if the OP had chosen an offensive title for his thread.

If a user behaved badly in a later post, then this user should be warned by the lichess mods and only this single text should be deleted. But I find the practice of lichess really bad when as a result the whole thread is deleted as if it never existed.

Lichess, I think there is room for improvement in cases like this!

@AntiLiteracyActivist said in #6:
> They said it was trolling so they removed it, I don't really understand how anyone could perceive it that way, but that's what they said.

Do I interpret you correctly that you were informed by lichess in a private message that "your" thread was deleted?