lgbtq

@Dukedog said in #30:
> I am completely hetero but not homophobic whatsoever.I believe you have a right to live your life as you see fit. I think your parents may be mentally ill and capable of violence so I also would suggest it may be best to wait and not come out at this time but rather wait until you are free from their religious mania.While it is true the bible is antihomosexual many so called christians do pick and choose various verses to support their own misconceptions while ignoring that which is inconvenient to their own views.I am atheist myself but have actually read the Bible and for my money the most beautiful verse is in the sermon on the mount wherein Christ says the whole of the law is to love one another.I think you will come to terms with your sexuality as you mature and I wish you well whatever YOUR choice may be.

Wow you wrote a whole paragraph... Idk if I am supposed to respond in one......

@DERG_CHESS said in #10:
> U cannot get banned for school for Ur sexuality. And u could use as an argument tht every kind of love is love to god
> Edit:spelling mistake

In the United States, a private christian school can end a student's enrollment for non-conforming values. The student then has to go to public school (agnostic).

With some (minor) exceptions here and there; state-by-state rules for example. If a state says that a private school can receive public funds for a student's tuition or enrollment, then the private school must conform to public education standards, or may lose public funding. (The public funding of private religions schools is controversial for this reason; freedom to choose; everybody wants money; nobody wants compromise.)

@SJCVChess said in #32:
> In the United States, a private christian school can end a student's enrollment for non-conforming values. The student then has to go to public school (agnostic).
>
> With some (minor) exceptions here and there; state-by-state rules for example. If a state says that a private school can receive public funds for a student's tuition or enrollment, then the private school must conform to public education standards, or may lose public funding. (The public funding of private religions schools is controversial for this reason; freedom to choose; everybody wants money; nobody wants compromise.)
Yo you did your research

@J_SEDA_conant said in #18:
> they would not disown you, I’m pretty sure it’s against the Bible.

Disowning someone, casting them out ... it is not "against the Bible." -- There are several instances where a family member is cast-out, disowned, due to non-conformance; usually disobedience to the family patriarch, or God's supposed rules. Some of these instances are [lessons] about forgiveness and repentance.

On the other hand, Christianity supposedly teaches tolerance and acceptance and forgivness. It's adherents don't really conform to these tenets; or they do so only subjectively, and then use "prayer" and supposedly being forgiven by god as an excuse for their lacking faith. Christ died on the cross ... for sins he did not know would be committed ... such as vanity, taking the lord's name in vein, lying to yourself and others, etc...

@J_SEDA_conant said in #18:
> Second, as long as you’re willing to change this, you MIGHT not get banned from your school.

And what if someone isn't going to change? What if it is who they are? Willingness does not equate to ability to act or do something. I know this, too, because it is part of my life experience... I've got the will, but no ability to do something, and people come along and slap me down every time I muster the courage to start again ...

Most of the time these people who come along and slap me down are "good people" with "good intentions" who try to encourage others to "stay positive" and "keep your head up" and "try again" ... but do and say some really horrendous things. These people are quite often of the religious cadre or influence ... speaks worlds ...

The only positive thing about religion is how it teaches resilience to hypocritical people. Ex. Religions people usually hate me for pointing out things like this. For the most part, their [respective] god(s) casts most adherents to the bad place.

On the other hand, being yourself... being true to yourself... living in God's image ... a whole lot more sane and rational than trying to conform to human's supposed interpretation of God's will ... (pffft, imagine the hubris, imagine if you were a god and how you might handle this; your god would forgive you, but not others ... that's not forgiveness, that's down-right despotic).

@Thalassokrator said in #24:
> Christian fundamentalists in the US do things that are "against the bible" as you say (wear clothes woven out of two or more different types of yarn, get tattoos, etc.).
> Online you can read numerous stories of (sometimes underage) people coming out to their (e.g. evangelical) parents and being shunned, sent to "sexuality conversion therapy" (i.e. child abuse/psychological torture) disowned, thrown out of the house, you name it.
> Yes, this indeed violates the Christian command "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (Matthew 22:39), but some of these fundamentalists don't care. They hate homosexuals more than they care to adhere to their own religion's principles.

It always amuses me how "fundamentalist" or "evangelical" Christians often lack fundamentals, and don't spread the good word, so much as fear and hatred.

Probably the most poignent thing you said is ...

> "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (Matthew 22:39), but some of these fundamentalists don't care. They hate ...

Just that.

=====

When I was in college, I walked up to a campus preacher in the "free speech area" of the student union complex. When the guy's face started turning less red (more breathing, less run-on-sentence bellowing) ... I used the opportunity to inject a question: "Would Jesus approve of you standing here preaching hatred and intolerance? If he were standing next to you, would you bow down to him and accept his forgiveness of your sins here today?" -- To which the sucked in a large lung-full of air, pointed at me and bellowed: "The lord shall strike thee down for thy blasphemy!" I turned away and walked to class with him yelling "sinner" at my back. Another student yelled at him: "Don't take the lord's name in vein. It's a sin!"

Evangelicals and fundamentalists are most often a bunch of hypocritical loony-tunes and whack-a-doodles.

@NaturalBornTraveller said in #17:
> No need to publicly announce it at the school or anywhere else. It doesn't change personality after all. Relax and be yourself.
>
> And if people ask you personal questions like this. Just tell them to fuck off, such private questions are incredibly rude, and regardless of the answer, it's your own private business.
>
> Just be whom you wanna be. ... If other people have their own personal opinions, about your way of life, that's their business. Remember others opinions about you, has nothing to do with you. You have your own opinions. Your own truth. It's how you look at yourself that matters. Be whom you wanna be. Do what you wanna do. Say what you wanna say. ... And if you are religious, then it is between you and your God(s).

Hey @YellowFox10 ...

Out of everything said here, I agree with this the most.

This started with asking about coming out ...

> No need to publicly announce it at the school or anywhere else.

Whether or not it is a problem or concern, first ask yourself: Why do you need to come-out and tell people?

The truth is, you don't really need to. You can keep it to yourself. And ...

> If people ask you personal questions about things like this, politely tell them to f* off. Private questions are incredibly rude, and regardless of the answer, it's your own private business.

=====

There are a few problems with some of this, like you might be hearing messages in school about how it is wrong to be this way, and you might hear people talking bad and negatively ... and you're keeping it to yourself that you are that way, and don't like the comments people are making ... that they're making you uncomfortable.

You can speak-up, but this might raise questions, or might cause you to be shunned.

I don't know what to tell you.

What I can tell you is that keeping feelings like this bottled up is bad. And that's probably why you feel the need to come out and express yourself to others; family, the people you're closest to and who should support you. But that you're probably hearing the same kind of uncomfortable trash from your own family.

The honest, hard truth is: It is a 50/50 craps-shoot (gambling) if a family like yours is supportive and understanding, or takes issue with "coming out" (before you're an adult).

One thing I can suggest is that you get help; get counseling; and not a Christian counselor, or someone recommended by friends or faithful ... seek independent counseling, and put emphasis on this. Or, tell your doctor, ask for anti-depressants.

The one problem with this is that in some cases (states), the parent has a right to know what a child has said to their doctor in confidence. (It is a problem.) So if you can't have a confidential discussion with your doctor, then I would suggest not running that risk, and just tell the doctor that you're depressed. If you see a "christian" counselor, tell your parents you don't like that counselor and ask for a new one. (Common Myth: You pick a counselor and that's it. Reality is that you might see several before you find one you're comfortable with.)

The point of saying: "Seek counseling" is FOR YOU to have an outlet and someone to talk to. This is the internet. This is no good.

If you live in or near a metro area, there are usually LBGTQ organizations, and they usually have youth programs, or they can point you to one. Even if you don't live near a metro area, if you can get in contact with someone at one of these organizations ... your chances for success go way up ... most of these organizations have professionals on-staff who know how to handle and help you navigate sensitive situations like this.

@SJCVChess said in #36:
> Hey @YellowFox10 ...
>
> Out of everything said here, I agree with this the most.
>
> This started with asking about coming out ...
>
>
>
> Whether or not it is a problem or concern, first ask yourself: Why do you need to come-out and tell people?
>
> The truth is, you don't really need to. You can keep it to yourself. And ...
>
>
>
> =====
>
> There are a few problems with some of this, like you might be hearing messages in school about how it is wrong to be this way, and you might hear people talking bad and negatively ... and you're keeping it to yourself that you are that way, and don't like the comments people are making ... that they're making you uncomfortable.
>
> You can speak-up, but this might raise questions, or might cause you to be shunned.
>
> I don't know what to tell you.
>
> What I can tell you is that keeping feelings like this bottled up is bad. And that's probably why you feel the need to come out and express yourself to others; family, the people you're closest to and who should support you. But that you're probably hearing the same kind of uncomfortable trash from your own family.
>
> The honest, hard truth is: It is a 50/50 craps-shoot (gambling) if a family like yours is supportive and understanding, or takes issue with "coming out" (before you're an adult).
>
> One thing I can suggest is that you get help; get counseling; and not a Christian counselor, or someone recommended by friends or faithful ... seek independent counseling, and put emphasis on this. Or, tell your doctor, ask for anti-depressants.
>
> The one problem with this is that in some cases (states), the parent has a right to know what a child has said to their doctor in confidence. (It is a problem.) So if you can't have a confidential discussion with your doctor, then I would suggest not running that risk, and just tell the doctor that you're depressed. If you see a "christian" counselor, tell your parents you don't like that counselor and ask for a new one. (Common Myth: You pick a counselor and that's it. Reality is that you might see several before you find one you're comfortable with.)
>
> The point of saying: "Seek counseling" is FOR YOU to have an outlet and someone to talk to. This is the internet. This is no good.
>
> If you live in or near a metro area, there are usually LBGTQ organizations, and they usually have youth programs, or they can point you to one. Even if you don't live near a metro area, if you can get in contact with someone at one of these organizations ... your chances for success go way up ... most of these organizations have professionals on-staff who know how to handle and help you navigate sensitive situations like this.

Dude, you wrote a whole essay... But thanks for taking your time to say that

@YellowFox10 idk if you want to hear this but
(and i'm not trying to sound preachy at you)
as a fellow Christian i can tell you that 1. Genesis 2:24 says that marriage is between one man and one woman and
2. God made you in his own image, exactly the way he wanted you to be. You don't need to change to "be yourself." you were made as yourself, marred by sin but still bearing the likeness of God

thus you should look to him and not to "solutions" the world provides to try to "be yourself" as that doesn't and won't truly satisfy you

(you can DM me if you want to talk further btw, i'd be happy to chat)

And your family almost certainly won't like it if they're Christians, but they will probably (and should!!) still love you as their family. I have a cousin who is transgender, and what the rest of our family does is calmly circumvent those discussions as they can be explosive and treat them like a normal human being.

@YellowFox10
Great! Then you know you are a girl now.