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how to stay calm

Staying calm is a skill that can be cultivated with practice and patience. Here are some strategies you can try:

### 1. **Breathe Deeply**
Deep breathing helps slow your heart rate and relax your mind. Try the 4-7-8 technique:
- Inhale for 4 seconds.
- Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
- Exhale slowly for 8 seconds.

### 2. **Shift Your Focus**
Redirect your mind to something soothing or neutral, like a peaceful memory, a favorite song, or even counting backwards.

### 3. **Practice Mindfulness**
Ground yourself in the present moment by focusing on your senses. Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. This helps take your mind off worries.

### 4. **Challenge Negative Thoughts**
If your mind is racing, gently question whether your thoughts are helpful or realistic. Replace them with more constructive ones.

### 5. **Engage in Physical Activity**
Even a short walk or a bit of stretching can help release tension and boost your mood.

### 6. **Take a Break**
Step away from the situation that's causing stress. Even a brief pause can provide a fresh perspective.

### 7. **Limit Stimuli**
If possible, reduce noise, bright lights, or other overwhelming factors in your environment.

### 8. **Practice Gratitude**
Take a moment to reflect on things you’re thankful for. Gratitude helps shift focus from problems to positives.

If calmness feels elusive in the moment, that's okay. Emotions ebb and flow like waves, and what you're experiencing will pass. Which of these ideas feels most helpful to you?
@vitamin_water said in #12:
>Grab a cucumber
>Peel it
>Place it vertically
>Sit on the cucumber

This is food waste!

Don't peel the cucumber, and after use, put it back in the vegetable garden of your 80-year-old neighbor, who will also be able to enjoy the health benefits of cucumber.
@ishanvipanicker said in #1:
>so recently I have been not able to be calm, like i keep having anxiety attacks
>and this happens everytime i am at the doctor's or even speaking to someone
>and one time it was so worst that I ended up just telling my mom to go speak to the doctor herself
>p.s. I am not afraid of the doctor. i have just been through alot and I am not able to stay calm anymore like i could fr cry rn
>i think i keep pushing myself to hard but idk how to stop
>
>So...anyone with the same issue??? or is it just me?

I've definitely been through something similar. You are not alone.

It took me years to get help with my own unique same same but different anxiety type problem. Getting extended EMDR work and also the Wisdom of Trauma by Doctor Gabor Mate really helped.

Providers kept telling me EMDR wouldn't help but once I got into EMDR, took almost 4 years, some of that underlying nervous system wiring got untangled.

What I learned is this process isn't a sprint it's a marathon. Every day I wake up grateful because I remember that I'm still in the race.

The first step was during the tail end of the worse years of my life; the light at the end of the tunnel was someone saying, "you can't control other people but you can control how you react to them." It took years and EMDR and lots of work to understand what that meant but now I feel more grounded even though other people are still impossibly difficult and terrible and challenging sometimes.

(Or just being dumb or mean because they're not comfortable with you trying to shine a light and are trying to blow out your candle to make their own shine brighter..)

It's like life didn't get easier but II did (and am still doing) the therapy grind and leveled up so now I'm facing the same battles but am overpowered so they feel easier.