Anyone got some eloquent insults.

I am looking for some poetic means of insulting people. Got some suggestions.

Here are my best so far:
You are so stupid that the navy forcefully kept you at bay/ to make so laugh on Sunday, I must tell the joke on Wednesday.
You are so ugly that the cops gave your parents a warning/ You are nothing more than the personification of a Monday morning.
We couldn't bear you so we told the principal to expel us/ You are so fake that you make Barbie jealous.
Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ God made me pretty/ What happened with you?
Every time I'm near you, I smell a disgusting aroma/ Why don't you slip into something more comfortable such as a coma.
Why don't you go someplace really far/ You are so stupid that you can't count how old you are.
I hope you are suffering from a really bad cough/ If your brain was dynamite, it wouldn't even blow your hat off.
As a child, you must have been thrown from the sky/ You are so annoying that you made Happy Meals cry.
Your face is almost as bad as a song by Kanye/ You are just like a cloud/ without you it's a beautiful day.
I am starting to wonder if you ever grew/ I have forgotten more stuff than you ever knew.
Your reputation as an idiot has already been cemented/ You might just be the reason the middle finger was invented.
Everyone you meet deserves an apology/ People like you are why I hate biology.
I know we have had quite a strife/ But I really can't wait for the day you go really far in life.

@TakeThePawnOrLose said in #1:
> Roses are red/ Violets are blue/ God made me pretty/ What happened with you?
Lichess is officialy a dating site now

Your brain is like a walnut, it's just good to be eaten.
You're only a big baggage with a mouth to talk insults and hands to do stupidities.

I don't know how to do it consistently.

@WassimBerbar said in #3:
> Your brain is like a walnut, it's just good to be eaten.
I would phrase that as: I heard that water has started to defy adhesion/ let it be known that you are the reason/ Your brain is like a big walut/ it is good for nothing but to be eaten.

this is the opposite of what you should do if you want to insult somebody. it comes off as try hard, and it is hard to pull off, because nobody is going to let you finish it without interrupting you or demoralizing you.

if you want to insult somebody, what you have to do is observe them until you find some fault with them (nobody is perfect so we all have that one thing that we would feel bad about if it were brought up), and then you test the waters to gauge their reaction, and if you see a chink in their armor, you just hammer away at it, and you will have achieved your goal of hurting their feelings.

hopefully it goes without saying that you should not insult people, you should be charitable to the people around you and make them feel nice not bad. however i think that just like with physical violence, using insults is justified in self defense. so only do this when somebody starts insulting you first.

The biggest insult to any person (or even to animals, I guess) is to not care but ignore. Trust me, if ya don't care and you're not affected by any insult thrown at you, you will insult the person who insulted you more than if you would "fight this senseless battle"!

@TheMuffinMan2000 said in #5:
> this is the opposite of what you should do if you want to insult somebody. it comes off as try hard, and it is hard to pull off, because nobody is going to let you finish it without interrupting you or demoralizing you.
>
> if you want to insult somebody, what you have to do is observe them until you find some fault with them (nobody is perfect so we all have that one thing that we would feel bad about if it were brought up), and then you test the waters to gauge their reaction, and if you see a chink in their armor, you just hammer away at it, and you will have achieved your goal of hurting their feelings.
>
> hopefully it goes without saying that you should not insult people, you should be charitable to the people around you and make them feel nice not bad. however i think that just like with physical violence, using insults is justified in self defense. so only do this when somebody starts insulting you first.
This is for texting/ online chatting only. I don't plan to use these IRL.

@george_mcgeorge said in #6:
> The biggest insult to any person (or even to animals, I guess) is to not care but ignore. Trust me, if ya don't care and you're not affected by any insult thrown at you, you will insult the person who insulted you more than if you would "fight this senseless battle"!
Works real well when the person in context is a random individual, but if it is someone who you meet frequently, you can't really ignore them.

@ TakeThePawnOrLose said in #7:
> Works real well when the person in context is a random individual, but if it is someone who you meet frequently, you can't really ignore them.
Pretty sure that every person is "a random individual", after all we are all supposed to be an individual...

Nah, the problem I guess you're referring to is that you ignoring the persons insult could be confused with giving up. And there are some people who think that no reaction literally means that the conversation is over. But I am actually trying to say (not saying it, apparently) that one should appear not affected (not care and ignore the insult) and carry on, with what you're doing. If the person is insulting you often, then just ignore it - normally this will bore the person and thus the random individual will stop sooner or later - after all, why would you invest your precious time to insult someone who - dare I say it - literally doesn't care?

You are stupid, you can’t do it
I can’t believe your so amazingly bad
So stay a crybaby cause you are sad
And say how’s that

fuck you I'm okay that's what they all say
already got a suspended license
for smoking weed in my ride and not lightin' incense