waiting for player to make first move

When waiting for a player to make first move in say a 5 min game and you put the cursor over their name they are playing a 5 min game with someone else and you have to wait 30 seconds for the game to abort how is that possible ? If I try to do this it tells me I have to ether join the current game or resign, is this a bug ?

I would also be interested in an answer to this question.

They are setting up a program I can always tell when I'm playing against a computer