I just had the idea to compose a parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" but with a chess theme. I'd be curious to hear what others may come up with as lyrics... This is what I have so far:
On the Xth Move of Chessmas, my opponent gave to meee...
12___
11___
10 Knights-a-hopping
9___
8___
7___
6___
5 Fishing Poles
4 Caro-Kanns
3 French Defenses
2 Doubled Poles
And a Fried Fox caught in a Checkmate Net
I'm experimenting, okay? :P
On the Xth Move of Chessmas, B. Fischer gave to me
1 An offer for a nice draw
2. Fianchettos
3. Doubled Pawns
4. Intermezzos
5. Hanging Pawns
6. Freakin skewers
7. Family forks
8. Discovered checks
9. Oppositions
10. Stupid checks
11. Zugzwangs
12. Mating traps
:P
On the first tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Play a pawn on e4.
On the second tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
There are two ways to castle;
Or try a pawn on d4.
On the third tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
There are three golden rules;
Two ways to castle;
And there is also pawn c4.
On the forth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
There are four ways to open;
Three golden rules;
Two ways to castle;
And you can also play Nf3.
On the fifth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
There are five ways to skewer;
Four ways to open;
Three golden rules;
Two ways to castle;
And think of freeing your bishops.
On the sixth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Learn six opening traps;
...;
And Practice mating patterns.
On the seventh tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Seven moves might be lucky;
...;
And work on the weak squares.
On the eighth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Eight usually captures;
...;
And use a system for strategy.
On the ninth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Nine is for the King squares;
...
And tactical combinations work best.
On the tenth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Ten moves create structures;
...;
And know when to exchange.
On the eleventh tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Eleven doubles pawns;
...;
And try a draw using fortresses.
On the twelfth tempo of the game,
A skilled player said:
Twelve is for the central squares;
...;
And attack or simplify the game.
