What do you think? Should women feel that they have to hide their gender in, for example, a neutral username to avoid harassment? Or should the would-be harassers just leave them alone instead?
@QueenRosieMary said in #2:
> What do you think? Should women feel that they have to hide their gender in, for example, a neutral username to avoid harassment? Or should the would-be harassers just leave them alone instead?
hiding would be not fully living what you do and not proudly assuming your identity. and therefore living in a climate of fear and justifying this climate of fear. However, playing in public tournaments allows you to have "notoriety" and to create contacts and to be visible. and harassers who dare to attack in a public chat would be quickly banned, temporarily then permanently. on the contrary, you have to be public, because that's exactly what harassers don't want. a Lichess arena is a bit like having a policeman on every bus or metro who would arrest every pervert.
i know it can be difficult, but in my opinion, it's a bit like showing the 3rd finger or a fig (Symbolically) to all the dangerous predators.
Edit.
however, for private interactions (private message), it would be better to set the settings to friends only, because this is rather preventive and since it is a private interaction between two people, it is necessary to prevent any possible attempts by malicious people. I put this setting there, for another reason - not to receive insults from ultras of rival clubs.
if people want to be friends, they will tell you via a public chat, a forum, or a mutual friend
> What do you think? Should women feel that they have to hide their gender in, for example, a neutral username to avoid harassment? Or should the would-be harassers just leave them alone instead?
hiding would be not fully living what you do and not proudly assuming your identity. and therefore living in a climate of fear and justifying this climate of fear. However, playing in public tournaments allows you to have "notoriety" and to create contacts and to be visible. and harassers who dare to attack in a public chat would be quickly banned, temporarily then permanently. on the contrary, you have to be public, because that's exactly what harassers don't want. a Lichess arena is a bit like having a policeman on every bus or metro who would arrest every pervert.
i know it can be difficult, but in my opinion, it's a bit like showing the 3rd finger or a fig (Symbolically) to all the dangerous predators.
Edit.
however, for private interactions (private message), it would be better to set the settings to friends only, because this is rather preventive and since it is a private interaction between two people, it is necessary to prevent any possible attempts by malicious people. I put this setting there, for another reason - not to receive insults from ultras of rival clubs.
if people want to be friends, they will tell you via a public chat, a forum, or a mutual friend
@CSKA_Moscou said in #3:
> hiding would be not fully living what you do and not proudly assuming your identity. and therefore living in a climate of fear and justifying this climate of fear. However, playing in public tournaments allows you to have "notoriety" and to create contacts and to be visible. and harassers who dare to attack in a public chat would be quickly banned, temporarily then permanently. on the contrary, you have to be public, because that's exactly what harassers don't want. a Lichess arena is a bit like having a policeman on every bus or metro who would arrest every pervert.
>
The question is somewhat rhetorical, but also it is one I think about sometimes
> i know it can be difficult, but in my opinion, it's a bit like showing the 3rd finger or a fig (Symbolically) to all the dangerous predators.
>
> Edit.
>
> however, for private interactions (private message), it would be better to set the settings to friends only, because this is rather preventive and since it is a private interaction between two people, it is necessary to prevent any possible attempts by malicious people. I put this setting there, for another reason - not to receive insults from ultras of rival clubs.
>
> if people want to be friends, they will tell you via a public chat, a forum, or a mutual friend
But what if you are a tournament director and need to receive messages from people who may not be your friends on Lichess? This is something I have also thought about and had to decide if I want to continue to organise tourneys or not because if I do, the messages need to stay open to all. Of course, if an individual is inappropriate to me in dms I will report and block them.
> hiding would be not fully living what you do and not proudly assuming your identity. and therefore living in a climate of fear and justifying this climate of fear. However, playing in public tournaments allows you to have "notoriety" and to create contacts and to be visible. and harassers who dare to attack in a public chat would be quickly banned, temporarily then permanently. on the contrary, you have to be public, because that's exactly what harassers don't want. a Lichess arena is a bit like having a policeman on every bus or metro who would arrest every pervert.
>
The question is somewhat rhetorical, but also it is one I think about sometimes
> i know it can be difficult, but in my opinion, it's a bit like showing the 3rd finger or a fig (Symbolically) to all the dangerous predators.
>
> Edit.
>
> however, for private interactions (private message), it would be better to set the settings to friends only, because this is rather preventive and since it is a private interaction between two people, it is necessary to prevent any possible attempts by malicious people. I put this setting there, for another reason - not to receive insults from ultras of rival clubs.
>
> if people want to be friends, they will tell you via a public chat, a forum, or a mutual friend
But what if you are a tournament director and need to receive messages from people who may not be your friends on Lichess? This is something I have also thought about and had to decide if I want to continue to organise tourneys or not because if I do, the messages need to stay open to all. Of course, if an individual is inappropriate to me in dms I will report and block them.
@QueenRosieMary said in #4:
> But what if you are a tournament director and need to receive messages from people who may not be your friends on Lichess? This is something I have also thought about and had to decide if I want to continue to organise tourneys or not because if I do, the messages need to stay open to all. Of course, if an individual is inappropriate to me in dms I will report and block them.
I don't know how Jeff or organizers of such big tournaments do it and if they receive a number of messages proportional to the size of the tournament. But I have already seen streamers or leaders of big teams having the settings on messages - friends only
maybe make a private team forum where team leaders can write "I'm in" or leave moderation questions/suggestions to a co-organizer. but i guess moderation questions or suggestions can happen in a private team chat. quite a few tournament organizers do this: they create a secondary team only for invited team leaders where they put results, rankings and discuss suggestions.
> But what if you are a tournament director and need to receive messages from people who may not be your friends on Lichess? This is something I have also thought about and had to decide if I want to continue to organise tourneys or not because if I do, the messages need to stay open to all. Of course, if an individual is inappropriate to me in dms I will report and block them.
I don't know how Jeff or organizers of such big tournaments do it and if they receive a number of messages proportional to the size of the tournament. But I have already seen streamers or leaders of big teams having the settings on messages - friends only
maybe make a private team forum where team leaders can write "I'm in" or leave moderation questions/suggestions to a co-organizer. but i guess moderation questions or suggestions can happen in a private team chat. quite a few tournament organizers do this: they create a secondary team only for invited team leaders where they put results, rankings and discuss suggestions.
There are many different cultures from all around the world and many men / boys are brought up to treat women / girls differently and I think that is a world wide cultural difference , so if you expecting men from other parts of the world to treat you with respect and decency from other cultures than that you are used to then this is why you find there weirdness outrageous.
I am on fb, many posts on my feed are of women and girls in bikinis and the such like and without me doing anything or liking or asking I'm a bombarded with picture of girls progressively getting younger and younger and this is one of the biggest websites in the world I have blocked hundreds of accounts showing inappropriate teen and underage girl pictures I have reported many many accounts and yet fb do nothing , it's like I'm being encouraged to become a weirdo. Anyway sometimes I read the comments on these pictures and many many men are say comments like ooh sweet and tasty and so cute. There are also comments why are fb not doing anything about this. Anyway my point is , I think that girls / women are seen as fair game to a lot of men and a lot of cultures that are females as just use for their sexual gratification. If you don't stay public QRM they beat you as a second class citizen and put you back in your place , in front of the kitchen sink. If you stay , do not expect it to be easy as you're fighting thousands of years of mistreatment of women. But never be afraid , stand up, for what you believe to be your human rights as a female , the equal to men xxx
I am on fb, many posts on my feed are of women and girls in bikinis and the such like and without me doing anything or liking or asking I'm a bombarded with picture of girls progressively getting younger and younger and this is one of the biggest websites in the world I have blocked hundreds of accounts showing inappropriate teen and underage girl pictures I have reported many many accounts and yet fb do nothing , it's like I'm being encouraged to become a weirdo. Anyway sometimes I read the comments on these pictures and many many men are say comments like ooh sweet and tasty and so cute. There are also comments why are fb not doing anything about this. Anyway my point is , I think that girls / women are seen as fair game to a lot of men and a lot of cultures that are females as just use for their sexual gratification. If you don't stay public QRM they beat you as a second class citizen and put you back in your place , in front of the kitchen sink. If you stay , do not expect it to be easy as you're fighting thousands of years of mistreatment of women. But never be afraid , stand up, for what you believe to be your human rights as a female , the equal to men xxx
Women should definitely not hide their gender. We should stand loud and proud of who we are. Some people may not like it but we have to go on cus this is life. It's not easy, but we shouldn't try to erase our identity because of all these harassers. Renember no matter what we do these people will always will be there, if not one another. We just need to learn how to deal with this kind of people. It won't be perfect but it will be better. This is what I think.
@QueenRosieMary said in #2:
> What do you think? Should women feel that they have to hide their gender in, for example, a neutral username to avoid harassment? Or should the would-be harassers just leave them alone instead?
Of course they shouldn't. As CSKA_Moscou mentioned you should probably just set certain settings for who can and can't write to you. I personally haven't set such settings, but for example, in a game I always turn off the chat (hide it). This helps not only women. I know from experience that these stupid messages in the chat can simply throw you off balance and you will start losing. At least that's what happened to me. So yes, of course it's not your fault for such behavior of certain men and therefore you definitely shouldn't hide your gender. I just advise you to set certain settings and not worry anymore and enjoy life)
> What do you think? Should women feel that they have to hide their gender in, for example, a neutral username to avoid harassment? Or should the would-be harassers just leave them alone instead?
Of course they shouldn't. As CSKA_Moscou mentioned you should probably just set certain settings for who can and can't write to you. I personally haven't set such settings, but for example, in a game I always turn off the chat (hide it). This helps not only women. I know from experience that these stupid messages in the chat can simply throw you off balance and you will start losing. At least that's what happened to me. So yes, of course it's not your fault for such behavior of certain men and therefore you definitely shouldn't hide your gender. I just advise you to set certain settings and not worry anymore and enjoy life)
On an inferior website to this one, there is a setting that gives you the choice to accept or decline chat messages when someone tries to communicate with you. If you don't click accept you won't see what they wrote.
It helps me keep my focus when I don't see what they wrote.
Might be an interesting option for Lichess too.
It helps me keep my focus when I don't see what they wrote.
Might be an interesting option for Lichess too.
Run, hide or
fight.
I think it is the third option. Fighting for equality and with support of the chess community treat the bullies with no respect, pardon my french but reading your blog I got pissed to put it mildly, stay strong
fight.
I think it is the third option. Fighting for equality and with support of the chess community treat the bullies with no respect, pardon my french but reading your blog I got pissed to put it mildly, stay strong