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Chess rating vs Self-esteem

#22
if your self esteem is tied to your ability to play chess (or worse solve puzzles) then you need to seek help from a mental health professional.

I could maybe understand if you said "confidence" instead of "esteem" but you didn't. Your self worth should be more than your ability to play a largely meaningless game. Are you saying the only thing you've ever contributed to the world is a 1400 chess rating? You've never helped a old lady across the street or bought someone a birthday card? Nothing? Really? You've literally locked yourself in a basement for your entire existence and had zero human contact so that you can produce a whopping 1400 rating? I doubt that
#23
Self esteem in relation to chess rating, nothing else.
Some may say, boy I'm getting bad at this game and feel down about it.

Don't get real life adventures mixed with a self esteem of a game.
The subject title basically means what a chess rating does to our self esteem. Do we brags about our rating, do we blot about our rating, do we feel proud of it. Do we feel good when we win or lose....

You are reading too much into the word self esteem (feeling good about our self).
Narrow the thought process to just chess and how it affect your self esteem.

When we are not playing well, we stop for a while and go enjoy life and make ourselves useful.

Success comes in many forms and you can feel good in one thing and bad in another.
#25
I don't feel like I'm improving, but thanks.

My train ? I learned from my father. Played every day when I was a teen. Then played a few games per year for about 30 years. Now I like solving puzzles on the Lucas chess software, looking at videos, reading chess books, Chessmaster (Josh Waitzkin Academy section in that software was good for me), and now I'm enjoying lichess with all it's features.
Over my life, I have accumulated lots of chess books.

I learned the Stonewall pawn structure from this book ...
books.google.ca/books?isbn=1929331045

My last book I bought and completely enjoyed reading....
books.google.ca/books?isbn=1936490331
#26
@Toscani
This might cheer you up a little if you're feeling down. Whenever I feel down about seeming to hit a wall with my chess ability despite having played a lot of chess over the years, more than just this account I remind myself of something I figured out long ago. Chess rating doesn't matter for anything! Unless you are a chess professional your chess ability even shouldn't have any impact on how much you can enjoy playing the game.
Let's say you're a 1200 player. You can do seeks for games with other players your level and you will win about 50% of your games. Then, you put countless hours and years of work and effort into improving your rating and you get to 2200. And then you find out you still win 50% of your games because you are paired against other 2200 players. All that fuss for zero increase in results. Lol.
So improve your chess because it's FUN to improve your chess as a thing in itself, not because you're worried about ratings. BTW, those are some impressive wins on your rapid profile page.
#27
@Toscani re: #20

I feel good because none of the openings I consider essential are listed :P

I think that deviating from the 'norm' in opening study can produce benefits beyond the obvious.

Cheers!

MR

EDIT:

You know, on further review of this thread, I think you're committing a fundamental error: You're tying your ego to your chess skill. Skill at chess shows exactly one thing about a person: how skilled they are at chess. A game, a diversion, a pastime, a fun distraction. Not a career, not a decisive indicator of worth or value, not anything but what it says about itself. Such a self-referential yardstick is only accurate in one metric. Please do not fall into the trap of letting your chess results determine how you measure your self-worth. In the real world, no one cares about your chess. There are other metrics, other determinants that people use to judge others. Many other metrics.
I guess I am saying that to berate yourself over your chess skill, or perceived lack thereof, is pointless in the end, even where your chess is concerned. Enjoy it for what it is: a board game that contains the potential for beauty. Not a yardstick to beat yourself with. You will improve by playing and studying. Maybe not at the speed you would prefer, but you will.

Cheers Toscani, you're a good person regardless.

MR
#28
EGO TEST.
I was thinking chess wise when answering the questions.
www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=how-big-is-your-egoconfidence

My result I got: You're Normal
The title says it all. You have the right amount of self seteem for an Average Joe. Keep it up!

I apologize if I'm annoying a few.

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Players that prefer to play chess only with peers of similar ratings or don't want to lose ...

Are they considered Egotistical chess players ?

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#29
Well the answer to the above question is no.

If we play with players similar to our selves, we kind of prove we don't think we are better then them.

An Egotistical chess player would have an inflated view of them selves. Basically thinking they're better than the rest.

Now for the don't want to lose part. Well it's normal to not want to lose, but if you start using assistance to win, then that's closing in on being Egotistical.

I don't think it's possible to tie our ego to our chess skills. Our chess skills have nothing to do with our worth in life.

A chess rating number is like a goal to reach. When we compare our rating with someone else we measure our selves using this rating. The measure is only good for the chessboard, not for life skills.

When we compare self-esteem vs chess rating, we are actually talking about how our feels are affected by chess results. The subject of both feelings compared to chess results is broad and open-ended.

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How does the game of chess affect you ?
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#30
There are lots of things that don't tell you the worth of a person that people still tie their ego to.

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