I started playing classical chess but, a bit like mixing with the wrong crowd when you're in your teens, I fell into the addiction of bullet games. The thrill, the quick reactions, aiming to play without blundering whilst looking for that quick mate.
Of course, it doesn't really improve one's game, and so I decided to start playing classical games again as well - on other sites to begin with, and then, today, here on lichess.
The problem is, while bullet players are notoriously abrasive and have a tendency to be rude, classical online players are rude in an entirely different way. Not all, of course, but a significant proportion.
1) Walking away from a game is one that really gets me. Just resign if you don't want to play anymore. Why leave me with 10 minutes on the clock or the emotionally unsatisfactory "claim the game" at the touch of a button?
2) Then there's the ones who make a mistake early on and then just resign and leave. It was a mistake. Play again, or carry on a bit. We're not GMs who go two pawns down and then it's all over!
3) Finally, the ones who claim that you were "lucky", despite the fact that they blundered their queen. That happens in bullet too, but mainly with swearwords attached.
Of course, we can go and report anyone for bad behaviour - that's not the point. This is a game, and if we want kids to improve at it, we have to show a modicum of politeness and decency when we play it. If someone was unlucky, I tell them. In fact I'd like an instant "I'm sorry, you were unlucky" button, because sometimes they disappear before I've finished typing. To say "good luck" or "well done" is now a button press, and it should be used more - and its use encouraged. I'd like to encourage people to be a little more courteous. I'm not sure how, but there must be a way.
Anyway, I love classical chess again, particularly here on lichess... but it is can be even more frustrating than bullet!!!
I have a suggestion for you good Sir
Try classical chess on the board
You might think "Ok, whats the difference", but the feelings, the pressure to perform, and the pleasure of creating something beautiful, are on a completely different level
Also, at least in my experience almost noone is rude after a game played on the board with classical time control and the post mortem is usually a nice experience. (Hint: its even nicer when you win:) )
Many others have posted recently about a so-called lack of etiquette here. But I think that what we point out is not so much related to online chess than to a general online behavior. It's easier to be rude or disrespectful hidden behind a screen and a nickname, it's sad but part of internet.
We must not forget that each one is subject to some hazards related to online play : incoming phone call you can't postpone (I lost 2 blitz in a row recently... :( ), baby's crying, loss of connection, etc. So it happens that you think "hey he just left the game that's disrespectful", but in fact we never know...
I think (hope) there is here a majority of respectful players, that are not frustrated by resigning or recognize your better play when you win with no discussion.
And a lot of online players have never pushed a chess club doors, never played real tournaments, so they never learned any chess etiquette.
I found an helpful reading :
http://www.gatewaychess.org/Quick_Guide.pdfsee Resignation part : note that the authors make a distinction between beginners, encouraged to play to death even in lost positions, and more advanced players.
Maybe lichess should pin such a behavior guide at the top of the forum ; no way to force anyone to respect it, but at least everyone would know.
On courtesy and chatting, I must confess that when I play blitz on mobile app, I don't take time (too long when clock runs) to open the chat, then enter "hello, good luck", etc. Not a lack of respect at all.
I don't want to get metaphysical or anything BUT... I find if you play with a good attitude and a peaceful soul, you will (somehow) attract like minded players. Or at least you will notice them more. Like when you buy a red car, all you seem to notice are other red cars.
And the actions of the rude players will not affect you at all.
Your inner peacefulness will be stronger than their pathetic actions.
It kinda works in real life too, go out in a bad mood and everybody sucks... go out with a smile and people will be nice to you. (or seem to be, which is the same thing)
Noon of your 3 points would affect me at all;
1) player logs off? Just sit back and enjoy your winning position.
2) player resigns too early? Again enjoy the fact that you won, not lost.
3) player says you're lucky. I dunno... I'd probably answer 'yes I was, another?' or 'no luck in chess' or even better don't answer. Players who lose the game will sometimes try to win the trolling chat afterwards.
Just don't mud wrestle with a pig, be polite and nice with everybody, feel good about yourself and the pigs will seem to get rarer and rarer. More and more harmless.
I agree Cafe, those things wouldn't affect me and they don't happen that often, well someone swearing at me or trying to insult me is so rare on chess sites, I've played League of Legends and chess players don't insult 1/10 of what they do over there.
As a soon to be 30 year old guy, I think adults forget that a lot of kids and teens play here, and inhabit the internet. While being rude is being rude, I never engage rudeness or pettiness because I'm probably dealing with someone that is a lot less mature, so in that sense, I generally just forget about it. I was probably a lot more rude when I was 13 than i am now.
I'm quite new in this page, been playing only for a few months and I have basically played bullet games, I have just cheked and I played almost 2500 bullet games to the point and I don't remember a player ever being rude to me while playing a game or in a tournament chat I just guess you've been a little unlucky because from my own expirience, people are really nice here
I find claiming a win more satisfactory than winning normally. Beating your opponent so badly that they run away is the ultimate reward. As far as #2 goes, I'll resign if I'm down an exchange or more with no counterplay against a same or higher rated player where my opponent is doing fine on time. As for #3, sometimes it's true. I played in an OTB tournament a few days ago where I was playing somebody who was also in the 2000s (even a little lower rated) and he wouldn't resign down the exchange, I eventually got up a rook and two pawns, was a few moves away from mate, and dropped my queen with a few seconds on my clock (with 5 second delay.) 19/20 that wouldn't happen, and it wouldn't ever happen if he wasn't full enough of himself to think he could beat me down a rook. That's luck if I've ever seen it.
#2 The problem is, I have very unusual hours of work and I work across Europe. Often, the only chance I get to play is at 1 or 2am... not many chess clubs open then, and where I live chess is virtually non-existent. Here it's all about surfing :D
#3 That's very cool. I like your post a lot!
#4 You're right of course. Perhaps part of my problem is that I'm one of those ridiculously polite people. Also, playing late at night, I might be competing drunk Europeans as much as anything :)
#5 I think it is rarer now than it was here. Of course, the worst was always the anons. Mainly, people here are politer than say,
chess.com.
#6 This is true. I'm 45. I was brought up to be polite. You're very cool if you can just shrug it off. It makes me very annoyed. Maybe one reason for that is, I've fortunately had a successful career and can choose pretty much whom I speak to. Effectively I'm shielded from day-to-day rudeness. Here I'm not!
#7 ...or maybe you're lucky :) I've played nearly 23,000 games here and there ARE rude players, believe me! Fortunately, I don't see them daily. I must say, I've met more nice people than not.
#8 I bet you were mad as hell with yourself! I get what you're saying - perhaps I'm being too English about this.
Thank you for the comments. I feel better now and reassured about the community at lichess. Needed the mini-rant and will now get on with it all :)
1) I think you'll find that people leave games with longer time controls on pretty much every site. There's not much you can really do about it from a developer's standpoint. I think lichess has done a good job by adding the option to claim victory if someone leaves. It forces people to find a time where distractions are minimized.
2) I have resigned early for large mistakes in the opening, but I never thought I was being rude. If anything, it hurts me because I would probably get more experience out of trying to make the most out of a lost position. It's a nasty habit, but as one of the earlier comments stated, just take the victory and be happy with it I guess. You can always find another game pretty quickly on lichess.
3) There is no luck in chess. You lose if your position is worse than your opponent's and they play accurately, and that's that.