@AcabaComigo According to what I have read so far by you I believe that the first move that will bring you closer in actually making a chess engine on your own is to accept the fact that you dont know anything about programing and mathematics at least not to a meaningful level that would allow you to make an attempt to code a chess engine.
There are no short cuts or copy/paste code you can use and make a complex thing such as a chess engine to work from scratch nor will it take a few days or weeks....
Once you make peace with those facts then what I suggest you to do is to actually start and learn a basic but popular/widely spread program language such as C for example.
Once you do that for months of exercising and coding various stuff irrelevant to chess but relevant to understand the language then you may try and find out how existing chess engines such as stockfish (which is opensource hence you can glimpse it's source code) work
Once months have passed and you got just the general idea of how this engine works try to fill the mathematical gabs you have on statistics and general computer mathematics (from big O notation toA B pruning and so on and so forth)
Once months have passed and you got an idea on how that math works you can then get into hardware theory and electronics to get into the intricacies of the x86 architecture on how to use efficiently ram etc
Once months have passed and you have a general idea about hardware theory his then you could attempt to write a chess engine on your own.
Once months have passed since this attempt you will realize that you cant make a good enough chess engine on your own but you are now capable on participating in bettering the code for already established engines such as stockfish and will be more than welcome to contribute to such projects.
P.S during all those months you need to get a more solid knowledge of chess theory on the side of course.