Chess is a competitive sport and competition tends to bring out the worse in humans. I try not to be too concerned with what people type in chat because they are probably immature teenagers or trolls. Don’t feed the trolls. Checkmate and move on 👌
@monsieur_mangetout
I chose the radical solution of turning chat off entirely because in my first 2000 blitz games I *never* got a "good game" or "well played". I did get an occasional snarky remark. I've made this comment before on the Forums many times and chess players don't like to hear it but there is far more personality pathology in chess than healthy personalities. However, the great thing about online chess is that you don't have to deal with your opponents as social beings. Thank God for that.
I chose the radical solution of turning chat off entirely because in my first 2000 blitz games I *never* got a "good game" or "well played". I did get an occasional snarky remark. I've made this comment before on the Forums many times and chess players don't like to hear it but there is far more personality pathology in chess than healthy personalities. However, the great thing about online chess is that you don't have to deal with your opponents as social beings. Thank God for that.
If mods are reluctant to teach them we should do it! The first step is to put links with those little disgusting bugs on a warning page, showing what they are up to, so that everybody can decide whether to block them or report themselves, before they even have a chance to play. Democracy guys! Yes we can!
When I play, I put myself on Kidsmode. Literally...
@monsieur_mangetout
Pardon me for critizising you. You will see that it is driven by respect to your feelings and persona.
Most people here behave with respect and correct. Over 90% is my estimate. You simply don't remark them. You play your game, have a result, continue with the next one. After a bunch of games someone tries to offend you and the same day you meet another doing this. This makes you angry and you only see those people trying to disturb others. You do not remark the overwhelming majority of normal (i.e. statistical the biggest group) people playing and enjoying chess.
A possible way to get out of it is counting the opponents playing chess with and counting the unpolite opponents. You will see good days and bad days and you will see the majority.
A second, more difficult, way is being aware that the unpolite want to be the center of your attention. Making you angry is a working way for that. So how to avoid anger? Ask yourself: Who has the problem? The loser being unpolite for losing or you? The unpolite moker after a win or you?
I'm not perfect in it and I know this from 30 years professional practise. I get angry every week several times when I should stay calm. To get angry is all right. The questions I put to myself since two month every time this happens: Is this all right, in the sense of a good reason? What does the person making me angry hint me to about my problem of getting angry in the wrong moments?
Discalimer: Doing this looks simple at first. But it is hard work and can be disturbing. Don't try too hard and have a friend you can talk about your experience with.
I admit this is a somewhat strange post in this forum.
Pardon me for critizising you. You will see that it is driven by respect to your feelings and persona.
Most people here behave with respect and correct. Over 90% is my estimate. You simply don't remark them. You play your game, have a result, continue with the next one. After a bunch of games someone tries to offend you and the same day you meet another doing this. This makes you angry and you only see those people trying to disturb others. You do not remark the overwhelming majority of normal (i.e. statistical the biggest group) people playing and enjoying chess.
A possible way to get out of it is counting the opponents playing chess with and counting the unpolite opponents. You will see good days and bad days and you will see the majority.
A second, more difficult, way is being aware that the unpolite want to be the center of your attention. Making you angry is a working way for that. So how to avoid anger? Ask yourself: Who has the problem? The loser being unpolite for losing or you? The unpolite moker after a win or you?
I'm not perfect in it and I know this from 30 years professional practise. I get angry every week several times when I should stay calm. To get angry is all right. The questions I put to myself since two month every time this happens: Is this all right, in the sense of a good reason? What does the person making me angry hint me to about my problem of getting angry in the wrong moments?
Discalimer: Doing this looks simple at first. But it is hard work and can be disturbing. Don't try too hard and have a friend you can talk about your experience with.
I admit this is a somewhat strange post in this forum.
Sometimes you may get a rude remark. One thing you can do is report them. Another thing you can do is ignore them. You don't have to worry about those remarks. Just turn on ZEN Mode, play on kid mode, or press the little green button that prevents you from seeing chat. It's your choice to choose what you want to do.
@monsieur_mangetout Why r u scared of kissing faces that means they love you they are awesome!
DragonArcher, doesn't it seem weird if someone put kissing faces?
That would be weird from a stranger, but if you like someone and they do it, COOL!
That would be weird from a stranger, but if you like someone and they do it, COOL!
I am agree. Chess is a nasty game that seems to cultivate this nasty, nasty behaviour. I find myself becoming more and more of a bad sport with every game. I have, however come up with a GREAT SOLUTION - please refer to my post: lichess.org/forum/general-chess-discussion/chess-is-a-nasty-game#1
to find out how we can all combat this nastiness.
to find out how we can all combat this nastiness.
I can ask the same question for the forums rather than the chat. Timeouts in the chat happen, it's not even really the chats, they can be a pain in the neck sometimes especially when you can only write a limited amount of characters, it's the forums that are the toxicity issue, I noticed that years ago nobody was really reporting users for bad behaviour and action wasn't really taken cos I still see a few badly behaved users that still exist but now it's better and people are reporting more often. If you block the user, you won't see their chat messages and take these guys' advice about kid mode and zen mode, you can retaliate on Inbox if you feel like it lol but if you want something more sensible then okay.
#27 Also no, using kissing emojis is just downright weirdo behaviour.
#27 Also no, using kissing emojis is just downright weirdo behaviour.
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