@Soccergirl_08, you don't have much experience yet on Lichess. Other players have played ten thousands of games over a period of many years here. When you analyse your games and don't play too many Bullet games, improvement will come automatically.
@Soccergirl_08 Just take a short break from chess - it will help. However if you insist on playing chess no matter what, I seriously don't know what to say! But eventually you will get your rating points back, I assure you.
I get angry first! It saves time.
My strategy to avoid getting into rages after losing chess games is by playing computers instead. I can’t rage against a computer because it’s not human. And that’s the rub. It’s when I lose to another person when I feel helpless and getting angry for losing. Because losing to another person exposes me to the dangerous thought that if I lose to another person it must mean that person is “better” than me and therefore I’m not as worthwhile for losing that chess game. That’s how I have to deal with that kind of mental anguish after losing chess games. Even though we’re taught to not take chess seriously since it’s only a game...you can get seduced into the idea it’s more than this and therefore you take losing much more seriously. I’ve broken out of that rut by playing Stockfish exclusively on Lichess. I don’t have to hear taunts like “Hey, idiot! I win in all scenarios. Resign!” Am I supposed to report someone who says something like that to me?! I try to ignore it and just take it and move on. But the better alternative to avoid scenes like that one I just posted is to avoid human play altogether and just play the bots. They don’t play mental psychological warfare on you and you don’t feel inferior to machines after losing to them. After all, machines are better than you anyway so this way you can avoid raging after losing those games.
Ok watch a few videos on certain openings then practice them, if you lose you are merely developing your opening repertoire so won't be so angry, your first win using the opening you are. practising will fill you with joy :)
@Curious1
If I lose to another person, that can lead to the thought, that she is better than me, in chess. Dangerous, indeed, to conclude and not fight that conclusion, the winner could also be a better person, and oneself a lesser one.
It is just a game, and a game integrating a lot of talents, so that to learn it and gain some freedom in it is meaningful. Whereas life goes by rules and integration of talents, fighting for freedom even so much the more.
As long as you prefer to meet humans in the streets over AndroIds, do give Stockfish a rest and play some fellow humans around here. They are better opponents than machines anyway, in that we can exchange our attaque-parade-riposte on the layers of us multi-layered persons, even if some of the layers are makeshift or disposable for chess.
As for the anguish and anger, you need not feel helpless, 'cos Stockfish can show you something about where it happened and you can pick it up. Chess is a fighting game, and losing freedom on the board inevitably hurts, but it is not a war game and so there is no warfare, it is rather a kind of geometrical play catch, with the according psychology.
If I lose to another person, that can lead to the thought, that she is better than me, in chess. Dangerous, indeed, to conclude and not fight that conclusion, the winner could also be a better person, and oneself a lesser one.
It is just a game, and a game integrating a lot of talents, so that to learn it and gain some freedom in it is meaningful. Whereas life goes by rules and integration of talents, fighting for freedom even so much the more.
As long as you prefer to meet humans in the streets over AndroIds, do give Stockfish a rest and play some fellow humans around here. They are better opponents than machines anyway, in that we can exchange our attaque-parade-riposte on the layers of us multi-layered persons, even if some of the layers are makeshift or disposable for chess.
As for the anguish and anger, you need not feel helpless, 'cos Stockfish can show you something about where it happened and you can pick it up. Chess is a fighting game, and losing freedom on the board inevitably hurts, but it is not a war game and so there is no warfare, it is rather a kind of geometrical play catch, with the according psychology.
@Soccergirl_08 My experience is that if I play too many games in a row I lose focus, get frustrated, and go on a losing streak.
The solution? For me, I only play a few games in a row, 3 at most really. If you start getting upset, stop. Go do something else for a while.
Carrying on will not help your rating or your mood. Of course it is good to actively try and calm yourself down. Take deep breaths and breathe out slowly. Try and distance yourself from your emotions and figure out what is going on from other points of view/objectively. These all help.
But distancing yourself from whatever is generating rage is generally the simplest and most effective assuming it is practical in your situation.
The solution? For me, I only play a few games in a row, 3 at most really. If you start getting upset, stop. Go do something else for a while.
Carrying on will not help your rating or your mood. Of course it is good to actively try and calm yourself down. Take deep breaths and breathe out slowly. Try and distance yourself from your emotions and figure out what is going on from other points of view/objectively. These all help.
But distancing yourself from whatever is generating rage is generally the simplest and most effective assuming it is practical in your situation.
It is just a (silly) game. Perhaps you should understand yourself better, work on improve your self-esteem and minimize your ego.
Just remember... its just a game.... Then go on youtube and gain a few hundred rating points in fundamentals.
Realize that you're still learning and failure is imminent at some point.
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