Jokes

Goes a grashopper into a bar.

The Barkeeper says:hey we have a drink named after you!
The grashopper : really?? you have a drink named irving?

A high wavelength sine walks into a bar.
The bartender: "Why the long phase?"

This forum is already been discussed. Now the mods are coming!
(No offence to anyone)

A man walks into a library, goes to the librarian, and says "I'm looking for a book called 'Pavlov's Dog and Schrödinger's Cat".

The librarian says "That rings a bell, but I'm not sure if it's there or not".

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?", inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.
He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying, "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!"
The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."

I spilled spot removal on my dog, now he's gone. "badum-dum-tsh"

A cat enters the pharmacy and asks the pharmacian:"Excuse me sir, do you have an emergency kit in?"

x walks into y jokes?
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his pants.
The bartender asks, “What’s with the wheel?”
The pirate replies, “Arrr, it drives me nuts!”