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My aim is to have no marriage/romantic relationships before age 50.

#31
@shashankfromindia said in #27:
> #cfbr
Bringing you back, again and again, to the point.
@shashankfromindia said in #17:
> C. S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy:
> "But the essential evil of public school life, as I see it, did not lie
> either in the sufferings of the fags or in the privileged arrogance
> of the Bloods. These were symptoms of something more
> all-pervasive, something which, in the long run, did most
> harm to the boys who succeeded best at school and were
> happiest there. Spiritually speaking, the deadly thing was that
> school life was a life almost wholly dominated by the social
> struggle; to get on, to arrive, or, having reached the top, to
> remain there, was the absorbing preoccupation. It is often, of
> course, the preoccupation of adult life as well; but I have not yet
> seen any adult society in which the surrender to this impulse
> was so total. And from it, at school as in the world, all sorts of
> meanness flow; the sycophancy that courts those higher in the
> scale, the cultivation of those whom it is well to know, the
> speedy abandonment of friendships that will not help on the
> upward path, the readiness to join the cry against the unpopular,
> the secret motive in almost every action. The Wyvernians seem
> to me in retrospect to have been the least spontaneous, in that
> sense the least boyish, society I have ever known. It would
> perhaps not be too much to say that in some boys’ lives
> everything was calculated to the great end of advancement. For
> this games were played; for this clothes, friends, amusements,
> and vices were chosen."
@shashankfromindia said in #18:
>
#32
@A_Dragon_Riding_King said in #29:
> 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. -Lord Alfred Tennyson
>
> "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." -Benjamin Franklin
>
> I would advise considering that the pros of love and marriage may outway any cons.
> Also, how can you be so confident that not-marriage equals safety?
> One last thought: if your psychiatrist is not or was never married, then they probably aren't qualified to advise on this sort of thing.
> All that being said, there are worse goals eg. getting on INTERPOLs most wanted list. ;-)
Consider #31
#33
@shashankfromindia said in #32:
> Consider my previous post.
The one with the C.S Lewis quote? I considered it, and consider it irrelevant unless you add context.

Please, consider my previous post and give a more substantial reply.

Respectfully yours, ADRK
#34
@A_Dragon_Riding_King said in #33:
> The one with the C.S Lewis quote? I considered it, and consider it irrelevant unless you add context.
>
> Please, consider my previous post and give a more substantial reply.
>
> Respectfully yours, ADRK
I am Stefan from Black Mirror: Bandersnatch. It is better for me to be a loser and get 2.5/5, and live; than be a winner and get 5/5 and die.
So no stress, and staying single and unmarried without any romantic attachments till I am 50, is a good goal for my mental health.
C. S. Lewis in Surprised by Joy:
>"But the essential evil of public school life, as I see it, did not lie
>either in the sufferings of the fags or in the privileged arrogance
>of the Bloods. These were symptoms of something more
>all-pervasive, something which, in the long run, did most
>harm to the boys who succeeded best at school and were
>happiest there. Spiritually speaking, the deadly thing was that
>school life was a life almost wholly dominated by the social
>struggle; to get on, to arrive, or, having reached the top, to
>remain there, was the absorbing preoccupation. It is often, of
>course, the preoccupation of adult life as well; but I have not yet
>seen any adult society in which the surrender to this impulse
>was so total. And from it, at school as in the world, all sorts of
>meanness flow; the sycophancy that courts those higher in the
>scale, the cultivation of those whom it is well to know, the
>speedy abandonment of friendships that will not help on the
>upward path, the readiness to join the cry against the unpopular,
>the secret motive in almost every action. The Wyvernians seem
>to me in retrospect to have been the least spontaneous, in that
>sense the least boyish, society I have ever known. It would
>perhaps not be too much to say that in some boys’ lives
>everything was calculated to the great end of advancement. For
>this games were played; for this clothes, friends, amusements,
>and vices were chosen."
@shashankfromindia said in #18:
>
The main point is that 'the struggle' (a life almost wholly dominated by the social
struggle; to get on, to arrive, or, having reached the top, to
remain there) is 1. unjust and 2. causes stress AND is dangerous.
P. S.: If you do not agree that 'the struggle' is unjust, read 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell. If you do not agree that 'the struggle' causes stress AND is dangerous, watch 'Black Mirror: Bandersnatch'.
#37
@shashankfromindia said in #7:
> Ruskin Bond is also a bachelor for life.
Read Ruskin Bond's short stories: "A girl from Copenhagen" or "Love is a sad song"... And then tell your opinion... Just because one is a nature lover does mean they aren't.... I think you understood! ;)
#38
@HailstormChessPlayer said in #37:
> Read Ruskin Bond's short stories: "A girl from Copenhagen" or "Love is a sad song"... And then tell your opinion... Just because one is a nature lover does mean they aren't.... I think you understood! ;)
Time Stops at Shamli ;)
#39
@shashankfromindia said in #34:
> I am Stefan from Black Mirror: Bandersnatch. It is better for me to be a loser and get 2.5/5, and live; than be a winner and get 5/5 and die.
> So no stress, and staying single and unmarried without any romantic attachments till I am 50, is a good goal for my mental health.
>
> The main point is that 'the struggle' (a life almost wholly dominated by the social
> struggle; to get on, to arrive, or, having reached the top, to
> remain there) is 1. unjust and 2. causes stress AND is dangerous.
> P. S.: If you do not agree that 'the struggle' is unjust, read 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell. If you do not agree that 'the struggle' causes stress AND is dangerous, watch 'Black Mirror: Bandersnatch'.

Thank you for this more explanatory answer. I assume when you say that you are Stefan that you identify with the character to some extent. I have not seen the show, so I'll assume your figures of 2.5/5 and 5/5 are chess game results. There are multiple ways to get 2.5/5, though only one way without losing and that is five draws. You don't have to be a "loser" to get 2.5/5. And I don't understand why you equate a comparatively worse score as living and a comparatively better score as death.

You also seem to think that to be stress free and have good mental health you need to remain unmarried. This would not seem to be the case as married people have both lower stress levels and higher life expectancy than unmarried peers.
www.cmu.edu/dietrich/news/news-stories/2017/february/why-married-people-are-healthy.html
www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

I would like to respond to your last comments, but a fantasy/drama Netflix show doesn't seem to offer much for a discussion regarding real life situations, except for possibly moral, political and other ideologies and propaganda of sorts. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong and it does have more to offer. The book you mentioned seems to follow the exceptional successes rather than the ordinary, exceptions to the rule instead of the rule, and most of us are ordinary. How is documenting and exploring the success of *outliers* going to help us?

Inquiringly yours, ADRK
#40
Mind you, I guess it depends on how old you are now, as to the magnitude of your opening gambit about waiting until your 50, I mean you may already be like 49, so one more year won't hurt. lolJK :).