@MajorGiggles maybe you're right. but I'm sure i had a winning advantage at the end and then just crumbled....
again, you're probly right, although sometimes I am blind and blundered beyond all reason and sometimes i am a Jedi in blitz time to think? what is that? no we know what to do before the options are discovered...it's an awesome feeling and I think that's way a lot of us play...but Jesus might have been building me a birdhouse while I was losing that game and for me to just wildly stab at His heart like that just because I lost before I even tried to figure out why! is harsh.
I tried to smooth things over with the sovereign Lord....yeah he's pissed
didn't say a thing. as if its not his department and it's none of his business. but i know he knows i just want to apologize and say how most of all he does not deserve that kinda treatment more anyone...nevertheless he IS kinda milking the situation and crybaby and drama queen and victim card and Rodney king all rush into mind before i start to actually worry if the lord is gonna recover from my thoughtless offhanded insults.
let's enter into evidence just one more aspect of reality into evidence. I can prove nothing but out of nowhere (Jesus) i got an inclination to run a stop sign of a scooter at top speed 35 fearlessly. so at ease with this decision was I at this first in a lifetime inclination I had that I didn't even need to check if traffic was crossing. my safety was no issue. i didn't look and in a very still neighbor where 99.99% of the time 24 / 7 it would be clear but I ran dead into the middle of a passing car. it was such perfectly timed weirdness or sabotage wait no that's murder. Yeah Jesus murdered me. I know it. He knows it. Why am I able to be alive now? (again Jesus also saved me) I broke 11 ribs on my left side, broke my left shoulder blade, my left knee was especially sore for weeks. Now if my body struck the concrete hard enough (one of those ribs was crushed into pieces which pierced my left lung) to break all those ribs then following my body impact my head would have snapped down even harder causing a massive cranial injury surely revealing my brain unto the street. yet my head had no bump or sign of any trauma my face didn't get a scratch on it. it's just not real. Jesus wanted me to know he did it. he loves the fact that know one cares and I can't get anyone to think wtf with me and why did god do that to me? I was not afraid or upset for a single moment. I woke up on the concrete and knew what happened and started to try to prop myself up.. that was not happening and I could not move and I was in severe pain and no one came over and asked me, "ARE YOU DEAD!?" but I knew an ambulance would come soon enough and save me from the concrete. For it was soo fucking hot you wouldn't not believe how unlucky you were until you found you face here.
The hospital was where the suffering began. Jesus showed how fun it is to be crucified to death and displayed publicly as a show "the see jesus die show' naked. its shameful and it's the most evil event possible for any reality. ya i woke up and my wrists were strapped to the bed. i couldn't talk. i couldn't breathe. i was extremely distressed. they should have anticipated this reaction and provided benzodiazapines accordingly to ease my horrible condition. this was after 4 hours of surgery and a few days of ??? but they didn't and no one thought it might be necessary to explain my condition to me so I could understand the horrible nature
life support breathing for me. that's what was in my mouth. I want to sue that hospital for this situation. they should have done a lot better than this. it was utterly humiliating . i absolutely abhorred it but cheerfully as I had no choice.
Jesus is the stubborn one. i understand and i am trying to meet him half way but like I said crybaby only child born into vast wealth yeah it affects people from all walks of life...