thanks for your text. I was not aware of that. Hope you recover from this insults and bad behavior you suffered with.
Regards
Regards
@Steelhome said in #141:
>Dear all AMAZING WOMEN [...]
I totally appreciate and share your stance to support the blog of @QueenRosieMary.
However, I think it is oversimplifying the underlying problem.
It is *not* only the "sexually frustrated men", who are "unable to cope with reality, of women [being] better [...]" (in something).
It is everywhere in the real and virtual worlds and it always has been, for centuries.
It is in the sciences, in politics, entertainment, sports, and any other segment of public space we can think of, and it doesn't stop on the doorsteps, marking the privacy of homes, which are meant to provide a safe haven for couples and families.
"It" is the socially inherited norm of male dominance and entitlement, we (almost) all have more or less been subjected to, our whole lifes. It is engraved in many western languages, social norms, laws, traditions and values. It is so deep engraved in (almost) all of us, that we are having a hard time, even realizing "it", oftentimes.
It's hard, wrapping our heads around the fact, that women's rights to vote, to pursue an academic education, to choose a profession, to have the right to divorce their spouse and similar essential rights, did not exist only a few decades ago. In Germany (where I live), it was only in 1977 (a few years after I was born), when a judicial reform cancelled mens "right" to terminate their wives job (i.e. when they felt, that the wife didn't care enough, for the household).
It seems bizarre, today, but yet, it's how my parents still grew up.
However, from changing the code of law to changing how we (consciously and subconsciously) think, feel and behave in our everyday's private lifes is a LONG way, still.
Harassment is the toxic tip of the iceberg.
Mansplaining (is this me, rn? ), parternalism and ignorance often has the same basis.
It is not just the sexually frustrated men.
It is...
...the potent man, who feels entitled.
...the hurt one, who can't process a personal sleight.
...the common man, craving acknowledgement.
...the simple man, who's not much aware and just follows the footsteps of his parents.
It is all (most) of us, at times.
Me: An old white privileged man.
>Dear all AMAZING WOMEN [...]
I totally appreciate and share your stance to support the blog of @QueenRosieMary.
However, I think it is oversimplifying the underlying problem.
It is *not* only the "sexually frustrated men", who are "unable to cope with reality, of women [being] better [...]" (in something).
It is everywhere in the real and virtual worlds and it always has been, for centuries.
It is in the sciences, in politics, entertainment, sports, and any other segment of public space we can think of, and it doesn't stop on the doorsteps, marking the privacy of homes, which are meant to provide a safe haven for couples and families.
"It" is the socially inherited norm of male dominance and entitlement, we (almost) all have more or less been subjected to, our whole lifes. It is engraved in many western languages, social norms, laws, traditions and values. It is so deep engraved in (almost) all of us, that we are having a hard time, even realizing "it", oftentimes.
It's hard, wrapping our heads around the fact, that women's rights to vote, to pursue an academic education, to choose a profession, to have the right to divorce their spouse and similar essential rights, did not exist only a few decades ago. In Germany (where I live), it was only in 1977 (a few years after I was born), when a judicial reform cancelled mens "right" to terminate their wives job (i.e. when they felt, that the wife didn't care enough, for the household).
It seems bizarre, today, but yet, it's how my parents still grew up.
However, from changing the code of law to changing how we (consciously and subconsciously) think, feel and behave in our everyday's private lifes is a LONG way, still.
Harassment is the toxic tip of the iceberg.
Mansplaining (is this me, rn? ), parternalism and ignorance often has the same basis.
It is not just the sexually frustrated men.
It is...
...the potent man, who feels entitled.
...the hurt one, who can't process a personal sleight.
...the common man, craving acknowledgement.
...the simple man, who's not much aware and just follows the footsteps of his parents.
It is all (most) of us, at times.
Me: An old white privileged man.
@AlwaysShortOnTime27 said in #144:
> I totally appreciate and share your stance to support the blog of @QueenRosieMary.
>
> However, I think it is oversimplifying the underlying problem.
>
> It is *not* only the "sexually frustrated men", who are "unable to cope with reality, of women [being] better [...]" (in something).
>
> It is everywhere in the real and virtual worlds and it always has been, for centuries.
>
> It is in the sciences, in politics, entertainment, sports, and any other segment of public space we can think of, and it doesn't stop on the doorsteps, marking the privacy of homes, which are meant to provide a safe haven for couples and families.
>
> "It" is the socially inherited norm of male dominance and entitlement, we (almost) all have more or less been subjected to, our whole lifes. It is engraved in many western languages, social norms, laws, traditions and values. It is so deep engraved in (almost) all of us, that we are having a hard time, even realizing "it", oftentimes.
>
> It's hard, wrapping our heads around the fact, that women's rights to vote, to pursue an academic education, to choose a profession, to have the right to divorce their spouse and similar essential rights, did not exist only a few decades ago. In Germany (where I live), it was only in 1977 (a few years after I was born), when a judicial reform cancelled mens "right" to terminate their wives job (i.e. when they felt, that the wife didn't care enough, for the household).
>
> It seems bizarre, today, but yet, it's how my parents still grew up.
>
> However, from changing the code of law to changing how we (consciously and subconsciously) think, feel and behave in our everyday's private lifes is a LONG way, still.
>
> Harassment is the toxic tip of the iceberg.
> Mansplaining (is this me, rn? ), parternalism and ignorance often has the same basis.
>
> It is not just the sexually frustrated men.
> It is...
> ...the potent man, who feels entitled.
> ...the hurt one, who can't process a personal sleight.
> ...the common man, craving acknowledgement.
> ...the simple man, who's not much aware and just follows the footsteps of his parents.
> It is all (most) of us, at times.
>
> Me: An old white privileged man.
Thank you for this excellent and thoughtful comment!
> I totally appreciate and share your stance to support the blog of @QueenRosieMary.
>
> However, I think it is oversimplifying the underlying problem.
>
> It is *not* only the "sexually frustrated men", who are "unable to cope with reality, of women [being] better [...]" (in something).
>
> It is everywhere in the real and virtual worlds and it always has been, for centuries.
>
> It is in the sciences, in politics, entertainment, sports, and any other segment of public space we can think of, and it doesn't stop on the doorsteps, marking the privacy of homes, which are meant to provide a safe haven for couples and families.
>
> "It" is the socially inherited norm of male dominance and entitlement, we (almost) all have more or less been subjected to, our whole lifes. It is engraved in many western languages, social norms, laws, traditions and values. It is so deep engraved in (almost) all of us, that we are having a hard time, even realizing "it", oftentimes.
>
> It's hard, wrapping our heads around the fact, that women's rights to vote, to pursue an academic education, to choose a profession, to have the right to divorce their spouse and similar essential rights, did not exist only a few decades ago. In Germany (where I live), it was only in 1977 (a few years after I was born), when a judicial reform cancelled mens "right" to terminate their wives job (i.e. when they felt, that the wife didn't care enough, for the household).
>
> It seems bizarre, today, but yet, it's how my parents still grew up.
>
> However, from changing the code of law to changing how we (consciously and subconsciously) think, feel and behave in our everyday's private lifes is a LONG way, still.
>
> Harassment is the toxic tip of the iceberg.
> Mansplaining (is this me, rn? ), parternalism and ignorance often has the same basis.
>
> It is not just the sexually frustrated men.
> It is...
> ...the potent man, who feels entitled.
> ...the hurt one, who can't process a personal sleight.
> ...the common man, craving acknowledgement.
> ...the simple man, who's not much aware and just follows the footsteps of his parents.
> It is all (most) of us, at times.
>
> Me: An old white privileged man.
Thank you for this excellent and thoughtful comment!
@pro-life said in #143:
> thanks for your text. I was not aware of that. Hope you recover from this insults and bad behavior you suffered with.
> Regards
I am fine thank you. I wrote and published this blog to try to raise awareness of these issues and to try to make it better for everyone (not just me).
> thanks for your text. I was not aware of that. Hope you recover from this insults and bad behavior you suffered with.
> Regards
I am fine thank you. I wrote and published this blog to try to raise awareness of these issues and to try to make it better for everyone (not just me).
My take on all of this is that a book can be written on this topic and it wouldn't cover everything but I'll give my two cents summary on it. Without studies it's hard to say how prevalent sexual harassment is in chess outside of anecdotal evidence which is also subject to confirmation bias. My belief is that the vast majority of chess players don't sexually harass but the small percentage that do ruin it for everyone. While eliminating sexual harassment/misconduct in chess may help improve the gender imbalance, the imbalance may also be the result of other factors. Chess like many other activities does have imbalances in gender, race, and nationality. Russia has 59,294 FIDE members yet China with a far higher population has only 1,445. I think we can conclude that such a huge difference isn't due to racism against Chinese chess players. Should we try to eliminate racism and sexism? Of course. But don't expect equal outcomes.
@AlwaysShortOnTime27 said in #144:
> Mansplaining (is this me, rn? )
you get an answer from an other privileged white man ( not quite "old" but getting there :p ) : I also worry about mansplaining when I express myself on this subject. giving an honest, non mainsplaining and non white-Knight-ing answer to the question "what do you do to improve things" felt like walking a mine field !
On the other hand, we need men to speak up as well, for a lot of reasons. So I guess the way to go is being carefull, and taking the risk of making mistakes. Which you did ;) (Edit: Taking the risk i mean, not making a mistake)
> Mansplaining (is this me, rn? )
you get an answer from an other privileged white man ( not quite "old" but getting there :p ) : I also worry about mansplaining when I express myself on this subject. giving an honest, non mainsplaining and non white-Knight-ing answer to the question "what do you do to improve things" felt like walking a mine field !
On the other hand, we need men to speak up as well, for a lot of reasons. So I guess the way to go is being carefull, and taking the risk of making mistakes. Which you did ;) (Edit: Taking the risk i mean, not making a mistake)
<Comment deleted by user>
Great article detailing how females in chess are treated online and OTB. I agree that people should not have to worry if their profile names are male or female. To change an online name to something gender neutral or male is understandable, if you want to avoid conflict or harassment. But yes, it really should not have to be like that.
I have noticed general chauvinism in tournament in chat every day. Comments like 'any girls in chat?' or the seemingly harmless 'how old are you?'. Plus, people declaring that they are 12 and are a girl or a boy. These comments might seem harmless but can have sinister connotations. I have started reporting anyone making such comments. It might seem like an overreaction, but I do not want to know how young people are or if they are male or female or single in chat. Is this an overreaction?
I have noticed general chauvinism in tournament in chat every day. Comments like 'any girls in chat?' or the seemingly harmless 'how old are you?'. Plus, people declaring that they are 12 and are a girl or a boy. These comments might seem harmless but can have sinister connotations. I have started reporting anyone making such comments. It might seem like an overreaction, but I do not want to know how young people are or if they are male or female or single in chat. Is this an overreaction?
No it is not, thats an excellent thing to do