i will have to give a trophy for @marvaleouseek for writing this
Why nehanag?
lol look at it's length
@marvaleouseek said in #1:
> One year ago here in Lichess the community tried the incredible task of give 1000 signs that identify the behavior of a chess player. lichess.org/forum/general-chess-discussion/1000-signs-that-you-are-a-chess-player?page=1
> We advanced so much and almost reach the goal but we failed. Now I plan to relive that goal and finish it once and for all!
> Here the compilation in one place in order to avoid repitition:
>
> #1. You say "Checkmate!", when you think your argument ends the discussion. [jomega]
> #2. You use the words 'objectively', 'subjectively', 'theoretically', 'practically' and probabilistically' all the time. [YM17]
> #3. You have a bookshelf at home purely dedicated for chess. [YM17]
> #4. You can describe a move as "thematic" with a straight face. [sparowe14]
> #5. You say alternatives as "Better was ...", "Inconsistent is ...", etc. [jomega]
> #6. You get annoyed whenever someone calls a rook a "castle" and a knight a "horsey". [maddymoon]
> #7. You best friend is named "StockFish," and your girlfriend is named "Leela." [pigsontheseventh]
> #8. You move like a knight on a squared floor. [kortit]
> #9. You only look at the position if a chess board appears in a movie scene (and you get angry when you realize the position does not make any sense). [kortit]
> #10. When someone mentions "Berlin" and "Budapest", you think of a chess openings rather than cities in Europe [Sir_Zocky_Rochester]
> #11. You use ?! and !? in your writing, with a clear distinction in meaning. [BurpinBishop]
> #12. Instead of saying "that was an oversight" and "that was a dumb thing to do", you say "that was a mistake" and "that was a blunder". [Eagle777]
> #13. When you see a chessboard in someone's home, you can't help but ask if they are a chess player. [Eagle777]
> #14. When you see a chessboard with the pieces set up incorrectly in the starting position, you fix it! [jomega]
> #15. You play chess all day but you don't know why... [prajitadhikari]
> #16. When you want to mate other people regardless of their gender. [gayweather]
> #17. When asked "How did you do on your date last night?", you respond "I beat her in 4 moves.". [jomega]
> #18. When you play chess for 8 hours straight (yearly rapid arena). [Gamingapocolpse-11]
> #19. When you rage, beacuse your friend didn't see checkmate in 1. [TrueShogiPlayer]
> #20. You refer to poor players at any game as "patzers". [jomega]
> #21. When you get annoyed at the overuse of the word "stalemate" to describe situations that are not in stalemate at all. [jsettle1]
> #22. You get way too excited about the new Horsey merch on lichess. [jsettle1]
> #23. You named a pet after a famous chess player. [jomega]
> #24. You check+ her be4 you mate# her. [Chess-ish]
> #25. You spend time reading a thread about what makes you a chess player. [Puredication]
> #26. You post in this thread. [RangerGeek50]
> #27. Your username is way too chess-themed. [Mate_On_f7]
> #28. When you leave a twitch stream and say "Good Knight everyone, lol". [fromtiltedtotitled]
> #29. When you dream about crazy checkmate sequences that are impossible in the real life game...like me. . [Dolphinchess11]
> #30. When you are angry because there are two #9 signs so you skip the 31 to keep things balanced [AngelaRoss]
> #31. When the word "overload" doesn't have anything to do with electricity. [killF7]
> #32. When you say check mate but you're not talking to an Australian waiter. [MrAverage]
> #33. When you play too much blitz and end up gaining only 2 rating points in a day even after playing 30 games. [SupremePatzer]
> #34. When you tend to hide behind your queen when there is a fight going on. [gayweather]
> #35. When you play 300 ultrabullet games in a day only for someone to tell you that it's not chess [SupremePatzer]
> #36. When you walk into a conversation and heard "blitz", you think they are talking about chess, when they are really talking about (American) football (rushing the passer). [jomega]
> #37. When your girlfriend is angry, beacuse you still play chess at 3.am. [TrueShogiPlayer]
> #38. You use the chess clock as an alarm clock. [Shiaxou]
> #39. When you spend the whole game thinking it was a blitz game only for time to run out and you then realise it was a bullet game. [SupremePatzer]
> #40. You can beat your parents easily. (And you do it a lot.). [maddymoon]
> #41. You become an artist because you like to draw. [TacTicIsTicTac]
> #42. When you try to light your lighter with the cigarette. (Usually during or after the tournament game). [Lizimikaru]
> #43. You know perfectly the difference between strategy and tactic. [Yahreinah]
> #44. You have never played chess in your entire life. [SupremePatzer]
> #45. When you give your kid a knight for a pet. [LChessMaster3]
> #46. Your only friends are also chess players. [maddymoon]
> #47. You spend hours on chess and your rating still drops. [IntelligentEagle]
> #48. When you play 30 rapid games and only gain 1 point. [CrazySharkyy]
> #49. When you can remember your last few games but not what you ate yesterday. [FunnyAnimatorJimTV]
> #50. When you think all knight about your last classical game, and what tactics you missed. [mysterious_expert]
> #51. You tell your stepdaughter you are going to a chess tournament. She says, "Ooogh, major nerdville!". [sparowe14]
> #52. If you prefer chess to your marriage . [LouisV2000]
> #53. You write "knight" instead of "night". [jomega]
> #54. You use the words "major", "minor", "majority", and "minority" often. [UnicornPenguins]
> #55. You overthink a casual checkers match because of chess. [DimitriDeli]
> #56. You regularly use the term "prophylaxis" but it has nothing to do with disease prevention. [billy_eyelashhh]
> #57. When seeing the word mate doesn't suggest anything sexual. [sparowe14]
> #58. When you go to a pawn shop and expect to find chess pieces. [Goke09]
> #59. You have a lot of school chess badges. [Yt_LoRdOfThEdArK_nZ]
> #60. You upload your games to pawnhub. Get it? [snipermode]
> #61. When you said your wife/husdband to go on few beers with friends and return home late after many hours completley sober with chess kit in hands. [fastlearner50]
> #62. You can't understand, how is it possible, that someone doesn't know the name "Carlsen". [GlowBlock64]
> #63. When you finish your sentences with "but ok". [funkyfun]
> #64. You hate coronavirus just because it's a reason, why the candidates tournament is paused. [GlowBlock64]
> #65. There are a lot of situations where you would criticize something by saying "I wouldn't recommend doing that" or sometimes adding "Although it might be playable". [harperlewis]
> #66. The pawn is your favorite piece because it can become anything once its promoted. [itxSMG]
> #67. When your 6 year old sets the Knights up facing each other like Magnus Carlson. [hampy]
> #68. Your friend asks you what kind of book you want to read, and you tell them that you would pick a chess book to read. [mysterious_expert]
> #69. When you know French, Italian, Spanish, English, Russian, Polish and Indian like a king! [M17]
> #70. When you can easily name five active or retired chess players. [gayweather]
> #71. When your girlfriend buys you chess themed birthday presents. [hampy]
> #72. You can list several reasons why Lichess is "obviously superior" to chess.com. [Shiaxou]
> #73. You cringe when a non-chess player tries to talk about chess. [BraveHorsey]
> #74. When you ruin your life and mental health because of your hobby or profession, but still get to have pleasure and joy while it lasts.
> Oh wait, that's a drug addict/dealer... Nevermind, just skip the second part. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #75. When Octopus-knights are your worst knightmare. [ChuckPhil]
> #76. When Code geass is your favourite anime. [Elias-Lebrun]
> #77. When the pepper and salt look like black and white pawn. [Sazuna]
> #78. When you care more about your lichess ratings than all of your social networks. [Sazuna]
> #79. When you talk to yourself while calculating and people think you are crazy. [Ihgchess]
> #80. When you beat everybody easily in chess tournaments at your school. [UnicornPenguins]
> #81. You have BCE close by while working on Lichess studies. [jomega]
> #82. You know what BCE stands for. [jomega]
> #83. You look BCE up and find there are two books by that name! [jomega]
> #84. When you insist that your daughter's four horses has to start the day on opposite ends of the field. [SycoraxCirce]
> #85. You are too pessimistic, depressed and bitter to actually write a cheerful, humorous comment on this thread. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #86. When you stare at your lichess ratings all day and compare them to your friends. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #87. When you look at life as a chess game (which is true up to an extent). [A_0123456]
> #88. When you realize that you missed all of your meals due to playing chess and end up raiding the fridge at night. [Owlnight257]
> #89. When you call chess a sport (it is, but only chess players would agree). You won't believe how many arguments I get onto with my friends about whether chess is a sport - they are simply unable to sway my opinion that chess is not a sport, but I'm unable to sway them either because they say all sorts of stuff about why chess is not a sport (all which are ludicrous and false).[A_0123456]
> #90. You insist that White king should start on a dark square and Black king on a light square, even if Chuck Norris insists the opposite. [Owly79]
> #91. You are the first one to ask if there is wizard chess the first time you watch Harry Potter. [A_0123456]
> #92. When watching a movie with a chess board, you carefully observe if the queen is on the right square. [MrAverage]
> #93. When a chess position appears in a movie, you analyse it. [GlowBlock64]
> #94. When a chess position appears in a movie, you can quote the famous game it was taken from. [jomega]
> #95. When a chess scene appears in a movie, you immediately check if the King and Queen is placed on the correct starting squares. Additionally you check if the board is placed in the correct direction as well. [Nordlandia]
> #96. When you watch Harry Potter and see the final position of the chess game and look up what puzzle it is from and whether it is possible to reach that position via decent chess play. [A_0123456]
> #97. When it says "This is a chess CAPTCHA" and you look for captures rather than mate [DarkMongoose]
> #98. When you are slightly above average intelligence yet mildly self centered and obsessive and struggle when chatting in pointless conversations. [comfortable]
> #99. When you play a good game of chess and you must show it to your non-chess friends. [GlowBlock64]
> #100. When your favorite youtuber is Agadmator. [TrueShogiPlayer]
> #101. When you say captures, captures every time you see a hot woman in a pub. [NaturalBornTraveller]
> #102. You wake up and play chess before breakfast. [SupremePatzer]
> #103. You talk about opening lines in your sleep. [minnesotablizzard]
> #104. You win the huge seasonal marathon tournaments by playing all 24 hours (that's kinda overkill but whatever). [A_0123456]
> #105. When you get really A N G R Y when your friend says that you can take your own piece. [Owlnight257]
> #106. you bring a skewer to battle. [minnesotablizzard]
> #107. When you see "skewer" in a restaurant menu and wonder why they included chess terms. [A_0123456]
> #108. you say "never play f6" every time your opponent plays f6. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #109. When you call lichess a videogame (I mean... it kind of is...). [A_0123456]
> #110. When "two bishops mate" doesn't sound like a church scandal. [MrAverage]
> #111. When you play so good that people actually think that you're Wesley So. [a45wesley]
> #112. When you think that the queen is more powerful than the king (I mean the king has limited movement compared to the queen...). [A_0123456]
> #113. When you talk about a: "Black and White Night" referring to Roy Orbison's famous concert and Chess interchangeably. [Kev_aa]
> #114. When you decide to play from the positions in
> www.lukesurl.com/archives/comic/libertarian-chess-is-the-same-as-the-regular-version-but-all-the-pieces-can-move-wherever-the-hell-they-like [pokahtoa]
> #115. When you play at least 50 games a day and played more than 12 hours in the marathon. [Fischer_and_Chips88]
> #116. You would rather play chess than eat dinner. [Fischer_and_Chips88]
> #117. When you spend your school lunch times at chess club. [Fischer_and_Chips88]
> #118. You play a bullet game while your code compiles. [kortit]
> #119. A chess site is the first recommandation of your browser. [kortit]
> #120. When you introduce to someone you say I am gm (me). [newagear]
> #121. When you use the word "dubious" in normal (casual) speech (like the 3 words from #2). [Mi5ter_t]
> #122. If you checked or read all the 13 pages of this forum to check if somebody used word "dubious" previously in one of the posts. [Mi5ter_t]
> #123. Somebody checks your phone to find the PIN number and miracoulusly sees very beautiful pattern with fingerprints of 64 squares of the chessboard :) [Mi5ter_t]
> #124. You misunderstand the saying "across the board". [DarkMongoose]
> #125. You dont like when somebody calls pawns as the pieces :) [Mi5ter_t]
> #126. You play chess. [beep081]
> #127. You get super hyped up when someone makes even a little referral to chess. [Owlnight257]
> #128. Your bedroom wall is a picture of Horsey. [RangerGeek50]
> #129. You think that knights in the medieval ages were horses that rode on their own and played in a chessboard. [A_0123456]
> #130. You decide you need to post in this forum even though you have no actual reason :) [aquagirl272]
> #131. You fight against racism with the reason that black is ok and can achieve equality. [ChuckPhil]
> #132. Your only friend is Magnus Carlsen. [A_0123456]
> #133. You don't find chess boring. [UnicornPenguins]
> #134. You can’t sleep because you keep hearing “And it was in this position that Magnus Carlsen resigned the game” inside your head. [beep081]
> #135. When abcdefgh - 12345678 are more than just letters and numbers to you. [Aceblade]
> #136 When you meet people and the first thing you do is to guess if they play chess, and the next thing you ask them if they play. You never give up and convince them how fun this game is; and if you still can't convince them to learn chess, you motivate them that it is very good against dementia ... depression and co. I still am not sure if I'm a chess player though because I don't learn any tactics. I just play
> the way I can my best. [xxsoapxx]
> #137. You secretly play chess in your Calculus class. [DarkMongoose]
> #138. When you play at least 300 Ultra bullet games per day and win 90% on average and some patzer says it is not real chess (if it was not real chess lichess would not count it as chess games you played but it does so therefore it is real chess :P). [Chessy64]
> #139. If you have a lichess account. [A_0123456]
> #140. If you obsess over ratings and have a meltdown if you lose rating points. [Chessy64]
> #141. When you as a German say "I want to blitz now" and you don't have a single clue why your english friends suddenly are looking so terrified. [Katzenschinken]
> #142. When you can notice a 5-move combination in 2 minutes, but cannot notice a person standing behind you in 10 minutes. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #143. When you abandon school/work for blunder fest in bullet. [Dario19503]
> #144. When you hate split rooks. [Caimz0919]
> #145. You literally apply chess pieces to the type of characters in other things. [Clearchesser]
> #146. You buy a gaming laptop to run stockfish 11. [AS_level]
> #147. When you are wondering what to write in this thread. [Archer66]
> #148. You get excited because there are more than 150 reasons in this thread! [aquagirl272]
> #149. When you tell your therapist that's all good in your privat life - you have 127 friends and 49 are even titled ones. [KingThisPawn]
> #150. You think that if you break 2700 rating, you are a famous f***ing legend. I hope mods get the reference, lol. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #151. You overclock your PC so that you could analyze your game up to depth 200 or something. You don't care whether the analysis takes billions of years or not... [A_0123456]
> #152. when you first type 'Lichess.org' in the search bar and the first suggestion is 'lichen' and you rage and scream "LICHESS IS NOT LICHEN!". [DarkMongoose]
> #153. You dream about mates in 1 and forks or skewers, but the chess terms of these things. [beep081]
> #154. you make skewers out of edible chess pieces, and use a fork with a knight design. [DarkMongoose]
> #155. When you enter a Masonic lodge you instantly ask, where are the pieces. [TheRider]
> #156. When 90% or more of your screen time is spent on lichess. [aquagirl272]
> #157. If you are at a party with your girlfriend but somehow you feel weak - as soon as a strong girl stays in front of you - you offer to trade Queens! [KingThisPawn]
> #158. If you have to write something here whatever it costs, and just have to read all 163 posts and even forget that your beer gets warm in front of you. damn! But Yesss! Mate captcha in one! GG. [KingThisPawn]
> #159. You like to be technical. [unicornPenguins]
> #160. When you spot a horsie on every single historical picture... [A_0123456]
> #161. You can solve the Lichess captcha in less than a second. (I got a Fool's mate captcha right now). [beep081]
> #162. Your online dating profile states, “Interested in rooking up”. [Neverness]
> #163. You get extremely offended when someone confuses chess with checkers. [runtilmorrow]
> #164. You get nightmares about missed opportunities you didn't play in your chess games. [runtilmorrow]
> #165. You have a pawn stuffed toy. [beep081]
> #166. You have a pawn chew toy. [Timegod]
> #167. You wrote a dissertation in Ancient Greek literature for College entitled, “Euripides' Pawndemonium, 600 BC”. [Neverness]
> #168. When you play chess by yourself... #Big brain. [BISHOPKNIGHTMATE]
> #169. You have no friends. [GlowBlock64]
> #170. You think social distancing is long castle. [Timegod]
> #171. You dream about chess. [DarkKnightAttack]
> #172. Your surname is ‘Chess’. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Chess. [Neverness]
> #173. You do something... while playing chess. [RikEvaos]
> #174. You differentiate between non-chess comments and chess comments. [A_0123456]
> #175. When your stepsister gets stuck but you can't help because you're playing bullet. [DoubPig]
> #176. You tell your friend you got a new game, he asks if he can play it. You say 'Sure', he goes to the XBox, but you go to get your new chess board, and say 'It's not over there'. [DarkMongoose]
> #177. You actually check and count to make sure that the # are the right #, then get it caught up because you know it will haunt you forever if you don't :). [aquagirl272]
> #178. You wonder why there isn't a 5 second-increment after the clock passes midnight. [hajos00]
> #179. When you see a GrandMaster you freak out and everyone around you thinks your a freak. [Ice_CReAmM]
> #180. Is it a sign that you are a chess player when you find a chess player very s e x y ? No matter how they look, they just have to know how to move. [xxsoapxx]
> #181. Your only PC program is ChessBase. [GlowBlock64]
> #182. You overclock your PC to run stockfish analysis. [A_0123456]
> #183. You convince your Bro to get an account on lichess. [aquagirl272]
> #184. You love shooting you siblings with Nerf guns (you have to be a good attacker or you probably won't win many games) [SAHales1]
> #185. You prefer Black and White over Black and Yellow [ChuckPhil]
> #186. You are totally exhausted after a weekend tournament and cannot sleep due to stress and decide to relax by playing more chess online. [JariIkonen]
> #187. You have a bookshelf full of chess books. [beep081]
> #188. When you hear about black and white movies, you think they're about chess. [A_0123456]
> #189. When you meet someone, to appear intelligent you say: Oh, I play chess, even though you are 900 rated and can't beat your 6 years old brother. [RikEvaos]
> #190. Your mom uses the word 'blunder' on a daily basis. [aquagirl272]
> #191. When someone uses the word 'analysis', instead of thinking of some really smart person, you think of chess. [aquagirl272]
> #192. When you hear the word, "mate," you ask who won the game. [GrandMasterBenners]
> #193. This is what pops up when you type school in the recommended "lichess.org". When you type up live "lichess.org". When you type up thing i hate "Anti Sicilians". [LChessMaster3]
> #194. You use the middle finger to point things. [marvaleouseek]
> #195. You talk a lot about tempi but have no sense of rhythm. [luxworm]
> #196. You are unemployed for the past 4 years, you live in your mom's basement and hope for a gf. [LGBT_Girl]
> #197. You are not POTUS. [obladie]
> #198. When it is quarantine and your friends complain about not being able to get out often and play football or try to pick up girls but you are actually happy because the CANDIDATES is starting and you have the chance to watch the games live and then go on to participate in online tournaments for the rest of the day. [jimmy2005]
> #199. You cheated on your wife with some girl at Taco Bell and 2 young children [SportsChesser]
> #200. When you try to get a 1000 Signs You're A Chess Player thread back on track... [hampy]
> #201. When you are so obsessed about finding ways that you lose count. [A_0123456]
> #202. You wonder what happened with this thread. [Mate_On_f7]
> #203. You hope that people stop and think about what they have done to this thread. [beep081]
> #204. You wish people wold stop flagging their own posts. D'oh... [obladie]
> #205. You can resist touching the "computer assistance" button. [Mr-DST]
> #206. You correct people when they call a knight a horse. [Ice_CReAmM]
> #207. You bought yourself a goldfish, and named the thing 'Stockfish'! [Neverness]
> #208. At a reception you play a blindfold game against a fellow chess player. [tpr]
> #209. When your parents ask if you are doing your homework and you are actually playing on lichess for 6h straight. [The_Conquerer37331]
> #210. When solving chess tactics start invading your dreams. [Chubbsy]
> #211. You NEED this thread :D. [GlowBlock64]
> #212. When you sign your kids up to ChessKid.com because in the UK, for three months, Gold memberships are free for all children and schools.
> [hampy]
> #213. You hope that people stop using this thread as a fighting thread. [beep081]
> #214. You absolutely LOVE glass chess pieces. [UnicornPenguins]
> #215. You break order just to get the forum correct. [runtilmorrow]
> #216. You still have hope somehow we'll hit 1000 reasons. [runtilmorrow]
> #217. Your bedroom is decorated with chess pieces. [beep081]
> #218. You think that if you say checkmate you win. [EdenG08]
> #219. Your first date was with a BOT. "Mmmmmm, that's a delicious rook right there, pass me some please?". [GrandMasterBenners]
> #220. When your wife catches you sleeping with chess books, watch out for a divorce threat! [fastlearner50]
> #221. When you buy that lathe for your company due to professional needs and the first thing you do is put a stainless steel rod into it and turn the set of chess pieces you always wanted to have. [Katzenschinken]
> #222. You hate when people say "eat" the piece. [reddragongamer]
> #223. You panic when the waitress says "Cheque.". [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #224. You hate people that also call the knight a horse (*facepalm*). [BISHOPKNIGHTMATE]
> #225. You draw pawns everywhere. [beep081]
> #226. You have a pawn tattoo. [beep081]
> #227. When bored in class you come up with random endgamey positions and analyze them. [JARANDujo]
> #228 When you're not actively thinking about something else, your mind just randomly starts playing a chessgame with itself and you can't help but continue it. [JARANDujo]
> #229. When you go to a pawn shop and get angry that there isnt any chess related items. [jonokeys]
> #230. When you post in this thread just because it fell down in the topic list. [GlowBlock64]
> #231. You have a Horsie t-shirt. [beep081]
> #232. Everybody calls you a chess master when you're not even at FM level. [UnicornPenguins]
> #233. You play hangman, but use "zwischenzug" as your word (Zwischenzug is synonymous for intermezzo). [A_0123456]
> #234. You wonder if this topic will ever make it to #1000. [JARANDujo]
> #235. You blunder a queen and calls it a sacrifice. [move44]
> #236. If you are saying "gimme horsey" everywhere just to get a little popularity. [Kex09]
> #237. You agree 1. d4 is best by test. [CoffeeArabica]
> #238. You spend a lot of time thinking what to do against 1.d4. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #239. You say captures captures every time you bite your food. [beep081]
> #240. You had a dream horsie was your boyfriend. [Timegod]
> #241. Your friends think you're a prodigy but your ratings are not that good on lichess. [A_0123456]
> #242. When you cheat on your gf and she asks "what was that" and you respond "blunder". [Kex09]
> #243. You think you are useless when you lose rating points and have a bad opinion on yourself. [A_0123456]
> #244. When you are not sure to what your life will promote. [Kex09]
> #245. You absolutely hate your mouse and want to get a new one soon. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #246. You live in a chessboard. [beep081 ]
> #247. When you don't want this forum post to be forgotten because it makes you feel like a chess player, even though you don't care of sentimentality. [xxsoapxx]
> #248. If someone flags you, you KNOW that they're a horrible person in real life. [JARANDujo]
> #249. You cringe when family members call you a prodigy or talented while little kids beat you all the time. [Globglogabgalab]
> #250. You sing ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ to Horsey. [beep081]
> #251. You buy a lot of chess books from Amazon, so much that the mailman calls you Garry Kasparov because he thinks you are a GM. [beep081]
> #252. When you get home from work and you're dead tired and your eyes are closing in, but you still think of solving the captcha ((:)) [xxsoapxx]
> #253. The stench from your apartment is enough to keep the landlord at bay , so you get more time to play. [Darksouls]
> #254. You try and play a weird opening that people don’t know but they still adjust (1 d3 2 f4). [J3742]
> #255. You are a chess player. [beep081]
> #256. If you use the word "positional," at all; ever; in any context. Edit: ok with a few exceptions. [billy_eyelashhh]
> #257. You own ChessBrahs swag. [AHeroRises]
> #258. If you are on this page lmao. [Thanos_universe50]
> #259. Whenever you see anywhere numbers like 2500 you think "hmm, thats a good rating". [etaLaskera]
> #260. When you accidentally knock over something and when you reposition it you say "I adjust". [VlackStorms]
> #261. When you won 15 straight and got 20 rank points just to lose 1 match and lose 25 rank points. [Kex09]
> #262. You give speeches about how knights are better than bishops. [beep081]
> #263. You get promoted at work and for some reason it makes you transgender now!? [lurarose]
> #264. You get excited when new storage becomes available in your house and your first though is: "Hey, I could keep my chess books in there". [Kev_aa]
> #265. You get annoyed whenever you enter a shopping mall because they don't place the black and white tiles properly. [pokahtoa]
> #266. When you're happy to saty home so you can play chess all day [The_Conquerer37331]
> #267. You want to be a GM and everyone thinks you want to be a General Motors car. [beep081]
> #268. When your opponent plays the pirc or Sicilian dragon they ask do you need to learn the rules. [MLCCLUKA1881]
> #269. All you can eat restaurants become all you can capture chess clubs. [beep081]
> #270. You hope that people don’t get off track. [beep081]
> #271. You think about chess positions as you sleep, and dream about them. [RubySeaTurtle]
> #272. When people are not posting links and any other shitty stuff that doesnt belong here. [Kex09]
> #273. When you recognize your opponents opening, so you type "magnus carlsen XY opening tutorial" instantly. [Kex09]
> #274. You start thinking that 1000 signs are to many signs... [marvaleouseek]
> #275. I think you are a real chess player when you want to find out what good/bad moves you made irrespective of your win or loss. [knightforked]
> #276. If you practice you will be a good player. [MarkBiriukovIsGoodyt]
> #277. You're gonna blast away your Opponent in atomic. [Pegasus31]
> #278. You're annoyed by people who keep trying to plug their site/app/video/channel on this thread. [JARANDujo]
> #279. Your biggest idol is Horsie. [beep081]
> #280. Horsie gives you a boner. [Timegod]
> #281. You get very sad that you missed the opportunity to be either #200 or #300, then decide to start stalking this forum so you can get #400. [aquagirl272]
> #282. On a checkered tablecloth, you study the different knight move routes for passing the salt. [sparowe14]
> #283. When you've waited for a sign all your life, but there seem to be no sign, no nothing at all. lol! [hitAndRun]
> #284. You are making a chessboard out of toilet paper rolls. [beep081]
> #285. You think chess.com is the best site. Then finally you realize its a cash cow and it bloated scum. [Timegod]
> #286. You own three wide ties with chess pieces painted on each and proudly wear them to dinner parties. [James451]
> #287. You watch "DIY Chess Board" videos on YouTube. [GlowBlock64]
> #288. You call a stupid decision a "blunder". [EnderShadow8]
> #289. Your friends call you a nerd but then you checkmate them in two moves. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #290. You have the Pirate Flag. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #291. You wear a chess shirt. [beep081]
> #292. You are smarter then everyone else. [jamesB009]
> #293. No one cares for you, even your own dog. [James451]
> #294. When you wife is tired of Agadmators "Hello everyone!". [Kex09]
> #295. You are treated as a prodigy in school even though you are a 1300. [beep081]
> #296. You become despondent over a rating points loss, but wonder what all the fuss is about covid 19. [James451]
> #297. Even as a young teen, you are strangely infatuated with an older Marlene Dietrich, Katharine Hepburn as well. [James451]
> #298. You think that by doing the captcha (computer test) in lichess you are a prodigy and deserve 3000 Fide points and beat Magnus Carlsen. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #299 When you hear "KID" you first think of the King's Indian Defense, not a child. [Supersanic]
> #300. You contribute to this list. [orangetriangle]
> #301. You check this post regularly. [marvaleouseek]
> #302. You think of Mephisto when you hear "Greenday: she's a Rebel". [EdForceOne]
> #303. Your mother loves you, but thinks you are an idiot; your father will not speak to you. [James451]
> #304. You teach your friends how to castle. [beep081]
> #305. He is so good at chess that he likes to watch movies while his opponent is making his next move. [g8h8j8cn]
> #306. When you play with so much focus, that major distractions don't seem to exist. The whole world seems to disappear while you are engrossed in your game. Total bliss chess! :]. [Skittle-Head]
> #307. The humor of Woody Allen escapes you; Buddy Hackett as well. [James451]
> #308. When you hear Michael Jacksons "Black or White" and you already have a nice checkmate sequence in your mind. [Kex09]
> #309. You have read every Harry Potter book and can recite the names of all the characters in order of appearance. [James451]
> #310. You tell random people that you are a GM, even though you aren’t. [beep081]
> #311. You saw in the video of TheOdd1sOut that all of his "checkmates" were king vs king and knight and a stalemate. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #312. You play in simuls against titled players hoping you win on time. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #313. You know that someone skipped a number but you're afraid to put 350 again because maybe you're wrong. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #314. You want to play chess all day long. [beep081]
> #315. When you watch agadmator's videos on youtube, and moreover when you find the moves he asks for. [Christosagnostos]
> #316. You saw the video that Magnus uploaded yesterday. [beep081]
> #317. You watch the Nations Cup. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #318. шахматы шашки нарды это игры а шахматы шашки нарды и наушники это высокие технологии. [Aburovtsev]
> #319. You would like to know why @Aburovtsev typed weird nonsense in Russian. [beep081]
> #320. You LOVE to solve the Lichess captcha. [beep081]
> #321. You have a chess keychain. [beep081]
> #322. When you think it's hilariously funny to riff on the "Unbeatable Urusov Gambit". See YouTube + St. Louis Chess Club + Chess Openings Explained. [Ampere2K19]
> #323. When you solves the daily puzzle of Lichess everyday. [marvaleouseek]
> #324. You have a Lichess account. [beep081]
> #325. You hope that the copy of this thread doesn’t overtake. [beep081]
> #326. Our employment prospects are dim such as a knight you know where and our income potential is limited as a bishop hemmed in on a back rank. But at least we have our mother's basement. Does that rhyme? [James451]
> #327. You think it's funny that people (guilty!) use # to say what they're thinking about the posts. [aaquagirl272]
> #328. You immediately noticed when lichess changed their logo a while ago. [aquagirl272]
> #329. Our dinner plates are arranged along horizontal and vertical lines , and no food is permitted to be in contact with another. [James451]
> #330. You have hung so many pawns it has ceased to bother you...sort of. [Ampere2K19]
> #331. You’ve dreamed of pawns promoting to knights. It was your biggest nightmare. [beep081]
> #332. You make a flipbook of a pawn promoting to a queen. [beep081]
> #333. You don't want this thread to die so you continue posting. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #334. Your favorite toy is a King. [beep081]
> #335. In cobblestone on the street you always see a chessboard. [tobiiii]
> #336. You have a shirt that says “Wake up, play chess, sleep, repeat” or something like that. [beep081]
> #337. You have horsey in the background of lichess. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #338. You like to promote your pawns to knights, so they move cooler. [beep081]
> #339. You go to the forum just to solve the checkmate puzzles. [learningchesskid3]
> #340. You know how to play chaturanga. [beep081]
> #341. You give vague answers to questions without answering the question at all. [TheGingerBeardMan]
> #342. You prefer chess over Monopoly. [beep081]
> #343. You think you've made brilliant moves, and without errors or blunders on a game, but Stockfish's analysis make you realize that it was just a patzer dream. [move44]
> #344. When people say “Italy , Germany or India “ you think about the openings instead of the places. [jamesB009]
> #345. You think @beep081 has done too much on the 1000 signs Yu are a chess player forum [jamesB009]
> #346. When you know the story of Raul Capablanca and the martian. [marvaleouseek]
> #347. Your favorite website is lichess. [aquagirl272]
> #348 When you know the song, Oh Capablanca, by Juga. [sparowe14]
> #349. You hate when movies make scenes with illegal moves. [beep081]
> #350. When you have sleepless nights thinking of Magnus. [MUMAnshul130105]
> #351. You saw in Gravity Falls that Stanford was making the queen and the bishops jump over the pawns while bill was making legal moves. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #352. When you look at your table calender and think of the squares as chessboard.... [chesseater78]
> #353. You don't skip the ad about the MasterClass of Kasparov. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #354. When you try to finish 1000 signs of a chess player. [marvaleouseek]
> #355. You spent so much time explaining opening theory to your friend who knows next to nothing about chess that your throat hurt the next day. [ExaltedToast]
> #356. You win your friends in 3 moves. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #357. You like to be the 400th in this topic. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #358. You tell your friend he had an accuracy of exactly 78.9 percent and you had an accuracy of 98.7 percent. [Dangerouskid]
> #359. When you doubt that you are XD! [bravoecho]
> #360. When you never fail the chess CAPTCHA checkmate in one. [marvaleouseek]
> #361. When you beat 8 year old Magnus Carlsen and tell your friends even though they don’t care. [beep081]
> #362. When your favorite thing to watch is Chess. [imakitty]
> #363. When during an intense fight, you say 'I will sacrifice you' instead of 'I will kill you'... [Akbar2thegreat]
> #364. When you are thinking about how to checkmate CORONAVIRUS. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #365. When you use 'fork' to eat most of the foods. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #366. When one of your favourite phrase is 'Like a boss' [because of a caption of Chess with Suren video: Like a boss! Mikhail Tal goes for King's Gambit]. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #367. When you once replied 'Protecting king' instead of 'Present sir' in class. [This really happened with me last year]. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #368. When you skip science to learn the Sicilian defence (get it). [MUMAnshul130105]
> #369. When you make terrible jokes and expect chess players to like them in a huge 1000 signs chess forum. [MUMAnshul130105]
> #370. When you just saw the last video uploaded today of Magnus Carlsen in his YT channel. [marvaleouseek]
> #371. You watch Naka’s videos everyday. [beep081]
> #372. When you constantly use the word 'gambit' in non-chess talk as well. [PowerfullKris15]
> #373. Watch Carlsen's games on lichess and realize 1 minute later what's going on. [PowerfullKris15]
> #374. When you spend hours with the chessboard...but still your rating doesn't increase. [PowerfullKris15]
> #375. You find pointless cheating in chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #376. You think chess is an art, science and sport. [beep081]
> #377. When you dream with chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #378. You eat chess pieces for breakfast. [beep081]
> #379. When you see the mouse cursor, you think of ultrabullet sign. [Christosagnostos]
> #380. When you are awake at 11pm playing chess alone and testing openings, middlegames and endgames. [Christosagnostos]
> #381. When you get more angry when somebody says chess stupid than when somebody says you fat. [Christosagnostos]
> #382. When you say "That was a blunder.." when something unfortunate happens in real life. [Firewithfire213]
> #383. When your friend says "good night", you respond "Good bishops are better than good knight". [jyotisko06]
> #384. You rage when your Rating drops. [NK2134]
> #385. You tell all your friends to get Lichess :). [beep081]
> #386. You hate chess.com and use lichess.org. [GlowBlock64]
> #387. You think chess.com is expensive. [beep081]
> #388. Te aburriste de chess.com/ y te veniste a refugiar a lichess.org/. [Estefania66]
> #389. You wonder how @Estefania66 posted on this thread if it’s in English (I’m bilingual btw). [beep081]
> #390. Your friend texts you what your favorite game is and you say, lichess.org. [J3742]
> #391. You block your friend when they tell you that chess.com is better. [beep081]
> #392. Chess is your favorite art. [beep081]
> #393. You wonder why there’s a chess.com fan in this thread (the person who disliked my comment). It’s a joke, no hate [beep081]
> #394. When you love the environment and the community of lichess.org and you enjoy just being connected all the time. [Christosagnostos]
> #395. If you have seen the first podcast of agadmator with MVL. [Christosagnostos]
> #396. You know whom the quote: "Chess is life" is. [marvaleouseek]
> #397. You have 3000 chessboards. [beep081]
> #398. You are bored to see the posts of beep081. [move44]
> #399. You know every chessgame you’ve played by heart. [beep081]
> #400. You say "outstanding move" more than non-chess players. [marvaleouseek]
> #401. When you actually get a painful sensation throughout your body, when you allow your rooks to be skewered by a bishop. Oh the pain, the pain of it all! :]. [Skittle-Head]
> #402. You say botezlive and chessbrah when someone say what do you watch on twitch. [AndriiD0708]
> #403. You bought horsey merch. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #404. You laugh at Counter-Strike while playing c4. [alex0u]
> #405. You never play the "Botez gambit declined". [alex0u]
> #406. Unaligned pawns make you unconfortable. [alex0u]
> #407. You secure your account with the password "e4e5Bc4Nc6Qh5Nf6Qxf7#". [alex0u]
> #408. You play chess even if you know that it won't make a living. [alex0u]
> #409. You checkmate the queen in your dreams. [alex0u]
> #410. Before posting, you solve a chess captcha matching with your supposed password. [alex0u]
> #411. You hate when people complain that you post too muchon this thread. [beep081]
> #412 You call a real horse a knight. [saleel42]
> #413 You spotted that Hal tricked Poole into resigning early. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #414. When you are confused as to why Czech people are bad at chess... [minionchess]
> #415. At night, if you dream about playing chess in a tournament, you suddenly wake up, sit up straight and say,'Checkmate!' with your eyes wide open before realizing that you werent playing chess at all (don't look confused...it has happened to me before). [Anonymous7123]
> #416. You read chess manga. [beep081]
> #417 When you have played at least 1 brilliant game or a game with no mistakes. [Christosagnostos]
> #418. You've beaten 1 of your parents before. [Dillon-S]
> #419. You have a chessboard in your house. [Jatinsuman]
> #420. Instead of going for the checkmate, you slowly capture all of your opponents pieces while listening to The Rains of Castamere. [TGBM95]
> #421. Your favorite movie is Searching for Bobby Fischer. [beep081]
> #422. Your followed and subbed channels on twitch are chess-based. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #423. You don't get bored during quarantine. [marvaleouseek]
> #424. You hope people stop spamming forums with things that have nothing to do with the topic. [beep081]
> #425. You are following The Botez Twitch stream cuz you want to see the Botez Gambit in real time. [Ampere2K19]
> #426. You understand chess sound memes. [marvaleouseek]
> #427. When you see a chess meme you write: O-O. [marvaleouseek]
> #428. You don't want this topic to die. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #429. You don't want Hikaru to get adopted in one of his streams. [beep081]
> #430. You don't play PUBG if you are a serious chess player. [AdorableGuy]
> #431. You know castling. [Jatinsuman]
> #432. Your favorite hobby is watching Hikaru’s videos. [beep081]
> #433. You use the word mate with just one meaning. [marvaleouseek]
> #434. You can't count. (we're on post 470 and number 477). [maddymoon]
> #435. When your opponent has nothing along with king, you sacrifice other pieces and promote pawns to Knights/Bishops and checkmate with them just like Hikaru Nakamura. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #436. You have played (at least once) the 4 player chess. [Christosagnostos]
> #437. You have beaten someone with at least 300 points better than you. [Dillon-S]
> #438. You know what the rating system is. [SavageAntarctican]
> #439. You post on a forum like this one. [Cedur216]
> #440. You read chess books. [marvaleouseek]
> #441. You watch people who stream chess content. [Dario19503]
> #442. You play chess online. [Transient_Eternity]
> #443. You want to post sign number 500. [beep081]
> #444. You know the shortest checkmate possible. [marvaleouseek]
> #445. You can't help but bring anything chess up in other, real-life conversations. [FunnyAnimatorJimTV]
> #446. You know that you can mate with bishop and knight but not with 2 knights against lone king. [gayweather]
> #447. You don't even want to learn bishop+knight mate and hope you never experience it in your games. [Cedur216]
> #448. You delibarately let ur time run down to 0.1 seconds and then checkmate in one. [Dangerouskid]
> #449. You play chess 24/7. [beep081]
> #450. You get angry about chess scenes in movies, because there often are impossible positions, or people playing it wrong. [braunegefahr]
> #451. @braunegefahr You don't like to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for that reason... [SavageAntarctican]
> #452. When you go to the stable, you want to ride a horse, but the person says " we have horsies but no horses". [A_Crunchy_Onion]
> #453. You know how to castle. [david9426]
> #454. You have chess for dinner. [marvaleouseek]
> #455. You know how to win a game of chess. [david9426]
> #456. You've played 1 game of normal chess on lichess. [david9426]
> #457. You really, really, really enjoy Alice through the looking glass. [marvaleouseek]
> #458. You know how chess pieces move. [Jatinsuman]
> #459. You have a FIDE CHESS TITLE. [Jatinsuman]
> #460. You’ve read all of the signs. [beep081]
> #461. You have read all the signs and got upset that the 1-1000 counter is currently not correct :). [Mi5ter_t]
> #462. You know that there were people who were arguing in this thread and messed up the counter and then someone posted like 6 signs in one post. [beep081]
> #463. — If McDonald's sponsors Magnus Carlsen: 'McArlsen'. [Neverness]
> #464. You want to learn the Alice Chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #465. You say “bing, bang, boom” when you calculate lines. [beep081]
> #466. You think life is a chess game and you constantly try to find ways to checkmate others in any interaction! [parsayazdi]
> #467. You don't care about the weather. [marvaleouseek]
> #468. Chess players tend to be obsessive and let the game swallow up their entire soul. [Eleuthero]
> #469. You don’t want people to post stuff that’s not on topic on the forums. [beep081]
> #470. When you walk around the tournament hall with your zipper wide open! [Lizimikaru]
> #471. You know to make chess piece cakes. [Jatinsuman]
> #472. When you want a chess player match. [marvaleouseek]
> #473. You are searching for double posts (e.g. 105 + 488). [EdForceOne]
> #474. When you try to find multiple mating solutions for the captcha. (some of them do). [Typp]
> #475. When you are reading this thread. [The_Human_Paradox]
> #476. You just captured a queen. [Jatinsuman]
> #477. You don’t like chess.com. [beep081]
> #478. When you see an "L" you think of a knight. [KKevinW]
> #479. When your 'heroes' are Fischer, Kasparov, Capablanca or the likes. [KKevinW]
> #480. When you are in social studies and your teacher says knight and you think of the chess piece. [KKevinW]
> #481. When you are the first one to recognize you have bingo due to your talent of coordinates. [KKevinW]
> #482. When people call a knight "horse" you beat them up. [Albert24816]
> #483. When you know Magnus x Supi game. [move44]
> #484. When you want to train tactics and exercises but your brain commands you to play bullet. [move44]
> #485. You watch agadmator every day. [beep081]
> #486. When you know that say 'check' is not mandatory. [marvaleouseek]
> #487. You think that chess24 is a scam company. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #488. When you prefer to buy some chess supplies than buy a computer. [KKevinW]
> #489. When you buy a membership to ICC instead of buying a Fortnite battle pass [KKevinW]
> #490. You hate when people say that chess is for crazy people. [beep081]
> #491. When you get into a fight and punch each other, you say "Captures, Captures" [HeathSpiresII]
> #492. When you know you can smash ur friend in all types of chess. [Dangerouskid]
> #493. You spend all day looking up chess videos trying to get better and ask everyone in your house to play you even though they never want to. [ak909]
> #494. It takes you 1 minute to finish off an A.I. via Bishop+Knight+King vs. King. [Pandas_of_the_Night]
> #495. When you never feel alone. [marvaleouseek]
> #496. You want people to learn to count (sign number). [beep081]
> #497. You know the difference between stalemate and draw. [marvaleouseek]
> #498. You can solve a Rubik's Cube. [FirstCamel]
> #499. You don't sleep the whole knight to play chess. [Christosagnostos]
> #500. You know that solving a Rubik's cube is irrelevant to chess. [Christosagnostos]
> #501. You go on the forums to solve Mate In One puzzles. [HeathSpiresII]
> #502. You sing “Take back the night “ as “take back the knight”. [beep081]
> #503. You make a simul and you hasn't got any candidate players. [NoBiTa__NoBi]
> #504. The Bongcloud is not just a vape. [HeathSpiresII]
> #505. You want Hikaru to win the LARC. [beep081]
> #506. You use the word 'prophylactic' which is a less commonly used term outside of chess fraternity. [happy2play4]
> #507. You beat a GM with queen odds. [beep081]
> #508. You have seen this video:
>
> #509. You are good or okay at chess. [KingKrish8]
> #510. You draw pictures of chess pieces and chess boards in school, when you're bored. [GlowBlock64]
> #511. When you are at school and want to play chess with your classmate, but you don't have a chess board, you draw one (I once did it). [Christosagnostos]
> #512. You watched the Lindores Abbey final, with Dubov against Nakamura. [Christosagnostos]
> #513. You find a good joke to post in this forum but miss the mate in 1 in the captcha. [Am0s]
> #514. You don't forget a previous joke mentioning that you are a chess player when you always solve the chess captcha. [Christosagnostos]
> #515. You play a simultaneous exhibition at your school cafeteria. [beep081]
> #516. You love chess based movies. [marvaleouseek]
> #517. You love going at the bar or the library to watch chess, as agadmator says. [Christosagnostos]
> #518. You’ve beaten Magnus Carlsen but age 5. [beep081]
> #519. You know what the 3-fold repetition draw is. [Christosagnostos]
> #520. When tasked with writing 'signs that you are a chess player' you talk about chess trivia instead. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #521. Said talk about chess trivia appeared in your personal youtube vlog. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #522. Agadmator has appeared in your personal gardening vlog which has nothing to do with chess. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #523. You criticize ANY deviation from the theme of a thread in a chess forum. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #524. You have the Play Magnus app. [beep081]
> #525. You know how to "count". [beep081]
> #526. You know the 50 th move rule of chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #527. You Play a game called CHESS. [KineticTactic]
> #528. You know bullet is considered chess. [beep081]
> #529. You know the secret square rule. [marvaleouseek]
> #530. Anyone who uses the word dubious. [DerrickPosen]
> #531. You watch streams about chess as if they were football matches and scream silently if someone didn't see the best move. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #532. You cannot multiply except for 8x8 which is 64 of course. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #533. You count in these steps: 1,3,3,5,9. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #534. When you have a game of chess with your friends everywhere 'cause both of you can play blindfully. [CosmoPictures]
> #535. You wonder why there is still military confrontations if there is chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #536. You know the boring feeling we get when we play 90|30 with a second time control of 30 minutes. [goosefeathers]
> #537. When someone says "Luft" you think of king safety instead of air or oxygen. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #538. When you know the wooden shield technique. [marvaleouseek]
> #539. When your name is Magnus Carlsen [beep081]
> #540. When you think the mods need to nerf the bishop pair. [Timegod]
> #541. When you think that a chess piece would be a nice character in smash bros. [marvaleouseek]
> #542 When playing chess you like having a nice ''sip of water''. [Christosagnostos]
> #543 When you have seen this videoclip.
> [Christosagnostos]
> #544 When you summarize the first 541 signs in a '1000 signs' chess thread. [hampy]
> #545 Subconsciously noticing tactics in everyday objects. If I move the plant, it unpins the clock and I can take the toilet with my bag of groceries. Oh wait. [oopsmouseslip]
> #546 You know about Morphy , Steinitz, Lasker, Capablanca, Alekhine , Euwe , Botvinnik, Smyslov , Tal, Petrosian, Spassky, Fischer, Karpov, Kasparov, Kramnik, Anand, Carlsen. [Flyingjat]
> #547 You sometimes or often look away from the board/subject you're thinking about. [FlamoToolz]
> #548 You insist that Queen Elizabeth has to stay away from The Bishop because the queen is dressed in white and the Bishop in black [wccchallenger]
> #549 When your mother tells you to use a fork at the dinner table, you think of a knight fork [Mazzeltov3]
> #550 When "The Dark Knight" is a chess piece and not a movie. [learningchesskid3]
> # 551 When you have an opinion on whether Stockfish is better than Houdini [K_Wang]
> # 552 When you continue playing, after you have accepted your personal chess plateau. It'll happen to you... It happens to everyone [even a GM] ...eventually. :] [Skittle-Head]
> #553 You draw chessboards on napkins [Beep081]
> #554 when stockfish is your best friend and you watch alpha zero at night to help u sleep [Kimmy69]
> #555 When you think a lot of chess books are expensive [Beep081]
> #556 When you tend to overthink everything [marvaleouseek]
> #557 When you get excited and intrigued by something as cold and unfeeling as a computer named Alpha Zero ️ [Swix3]
> #558 When you say "HOUDINI IS A COMPUTER, NOT A MAGICIAN!" to everyone who says Houdini is a magician [wccchallenger]
> #559 You checkmated COVID-19[Beep081]
> #560 You taught COVID-19 how to improve hischess because COVID-19 keeps getting scholar’s mated [Beep081]
> #561 You instantly know how to pronounce the word 'lichess'.[Krosvicc_Janos]
> #562 You try to set everything in order [marvaleouseek]
> #563 you rage at any one who calls a rook a 'castle' and a knight a 'horse' [Kimmy69]
> #564 You have the HotWheels chess cars [Beep081]
> #565 you get pissed at people who don't wear white or black [MoonRising]
> #566 You find some chess puzzles beautiful... like this:
> White Play, mate in 4.
> lichess.org/editor/3b4/8/6p1/1R6/8/3KP1pN/6pk/6Nb_w_-_-_0_1
> Don't use computer assistance! [marvaleouseek]
> #567 You have a chess piece as keychain... [EliasDR]
> #568 you don't do anything before you calculate several years ahead [MoonRising]
> #569 You think that Kasparov is the president of the USA [wccchallenger]
> #570 You know all chess games that have been played by heart [Beep081]
> #571 You know the french, Italian, and the Spanish by heart, yet you don't know how to say "Hi" in any of these languages [wccchallenger]
> #572 Your favorite youtuber is agadmator [Beep081]
> #573 Your favorite streamer is GM Hikaru [Beep081]
> #574 You play chess everyday for at least 3 hours [SohamRoy3rdaccount]
> #575 Just want to yell at a person when he gets something messed up [SohamRoy3rdaccount]
> #576 You have a hat for thinking in chess [marvaleouseek]
> #577 Your opponent plays like shit and then you notice he’s higher rated then you. Which means you also play like shit. [Timegod]
> #578 Аfter every defeat You say you had a victorious position [ybex9]
> #579 When you blunder a piece, you say it was a Tal sacrifice [Beep081]
> #580 You stay away from people who call the Rook as 'Elephant' [JessyWeinberg]
> #581 Your house is on fire and you quickly checkmate the position on your board before you leave ROL [wccchallenger]
> #582 When you play chess Eight days a Week. :] [Skittle-Head]
> #583 When you bump threads like this: BUMP! screeeeee-WHAM! Crash! Cheff-Goal De-BLOOMPH!
> but you post in them anyway. [wccchallenger]
> #584 You celebrate Lichess Aniverary the last June 20 [marvaleouseek]
> #585 When you forget to number the signs because you think about chess all day long [Beep081]
> #586 You do not sleep during night and start to do obsessive chess questions like this: lichess.org/forum/general-chess-discussion/question-of-all-questions [Destinyprotector]
> #587 You keep this thread alive [Beep081]
> #588 your word is a 8x8 square [Michael_B5]
> #589 when you see paving stones and think about a chess-board [tris1x]
> #590 You get angry when you lose only one game [Andrej19]
> #591 you are a bad loser [Andrej19]
> #592 you cant accept you lost [Andrej19]
> #593 you NEVER think NOT about chess [Andrej19]
> #594 You notice when other people are trying to cheat. [marvaleouseek]
> #595 When you play chess 40 hours everyday (twosetchess) [Mate_On_f7]
> #596 in real life as a Chess king you are suprised that you can be mated by your own queen ;-) [FM royalblue04]
> #597 The most traumatic experience you've ever had is getting scholar's mated when you were 10 [Beep081]
> #598 You know the word pawn [SucheSchachfreund]
> #599 You learn to check mate just posting in Lichess Forums. [marvaleouseek]
> #600 You want to play chess all day and dont do ANYTHING ELSE... [Andrej19]
> #601 youn think that towers can move in reallive [Michael_B5]
> #602 in a movie when something explodes you think about atomic chess... [Andrej19]
> #603 in maths lesson when you hear 2*2*2*2*2*2 (2 to the 6) you think about the chess board. [Andrej19]
> #604 when you hear queen in checkers you think about chess and play an irregular move in checkers. [Andrej19]
> #605 The first thing you do in the day is solve a chess puzzle. [marvaleouseek]
> #606 You like Harry Potter [voldemortv2]
> #607 You eat (capture) chess pieces for breakfast [Ayerdi_U12_GUA]
> #608 You like to put a chessboard for your correspondence games. [marvaleouseek]
> #609 You take up french in high school because you want to learn a new opening [pedestrian212]
> #610 You know that there is another topic of Lichess forum where they try to reach a post of 1,000,000 pages (about whatever)... and you feel hopeless about them.
> # 611 1.When you learn and fully understand the rules of chess.
> 2. When you master basic chess.
> 3. Now you are a chess player. :] [Skittle-Head]
> #611 You can do that CAPTCHA
> [AOOP9_2]
> #612 You laugh when Murray Head sings about "the ultimate test of cerebral fitness" and then plays a Scholar's mate.
>
> [KatzenschinkenBlind]
> #613 When you have the patience to browse through a forum with signs that you are a chess player. [TOMbrady12isdGoat]
> #614 When you're angry at yourself for not reading this forum in a couple of days. [Beep081]
> #615 You make sure to call knights "horses" and rooks "castles" to annoy the elitists. [Ellen_Hall]
> #616 Instead of "420" you ask people if they partake in "Ke2" [imaxwell]
> #617 You finish your day playing chess.[marvaleouseek]
> #618 when you feel happy and proud when you defeated grandmasters [kid_NAP]
> #619 You name your children "Robert, James, Gary, Mikhail, Judit" [tim1361]
> #620 When you know that Mickey Mouse's real name is Mikhail Tal [Beep081]
> #621 You use lichess over chess.com [ScorpianFire7]
> #622 You hate spam and advertisements. [Beep081]
> #623 You imagine many "what if" positions [RubySeaTurtle]
> #624 You wonder why, even though I put it in every single one of my posts, people don't number the signs [Beep081]
> #625 When you dare to thumbs down your own post. xd [marvaleouseek]
> #626 you hate your opponent when he ruins your plans [soccerfreak1213]
> #627 You regularly come back here to check if some new ideas has been posted. [Mi5ter_t]
> #628 You hate when people get off-track [Beep081]
> #629 You know that today is the international chess day! [marvaleouseek]
> #630 Someone asks why you are so angry, and you reply with: "They accused me of using an engine because I beat them!" [Francis9200]
> #631 Someone ask you what do you think of endgame and you don't think about the Avengers movie. [TacTicIsTicTac]
> #632 You wish everyone a happy chess day and they all reply with "chess day?" (except for your chess coach). [Beep081]
> #633 You study 3 hours per week ( I actually do that ) [Recur]
> #634 You play one classical game in the chess international day. [marvaleouseek]
> #635 you are named Garry Kasparov [MinitoughForm]
> #636 Your time ran ran out in a completely winning position. This happened to me multiple times. [PurpleCelery329]
> #637 You feel very sad because this thread is almost dead. [marvaleouseek]
>
> Continue with #638 and so on till number 1000! Please help and make history!
After reading all this My head feels so heavy! And it took me half of an hour to read all this!
> One year ago here in Lichess the community tried the incredible task of give 1000 signs that identify the behavior of a chess player. lichess.org/forum/general-chess-discussion/1000-signs-that-you-are-a-chess-player?page=1
> We advanced so much and almost reach the goal but we failed. Now I plan to relive that goal and finish it once and for all!
> Here the compilation in one place in order to avoid repitition:
>
> #1. You say "Checkmate!", when you think your argument ends the discussion. [jomega]
> #2. You use the words 'objectively', 'subjectively', 'theoretically', 'practically' and probabilistically' all the time. [YM17]
> #3. You have a bookshelf at home purely dedicated for chess. [YM17]
> #4. You can describe a move as "thematic" with a straight face. [sparowe14]
> #5. You say alternatives as "Better was ...", "Inconsistent is ...", etc. [jomega]
> #6. You get annoyed whenever someone calls a rook a "castle" and a knight a "horsey". [maddymoon]
> #7. You best friend is named "StockFish," and your girlfriend is named "Leela." [pigsontheseventh]
> #8. You move like a knight on a squared floor. [kortit]
> #9. You only look at the position if a chess board appears in a movie scene (and you get angry when you realize the position does not make any sense). [kortit]
> #10. When someone mentions "Berlin" and "Budapest", you think of a chess openings rather than cities in Europe [Sir_Zocky_Rochester]
> #11. You use ?! and !? in your writing, with a clear distinction in meaning. [BurpinBishop]
> #12. Instead of saying "that was an oversight" and "that was a dumb thing to do", you say "that was a mistake" and "that was a blunder". [Eagle777]
> #13. When you see a chessboard in someone's home, you can't help but ask if they are a chess player. [Eagle777]
> #14. When you see a chessboard with the pieces set up incorrectly in the starting position, you fix it! [jomega]
> #15. You play chess all day but you don't know why... [prajitadhikari]
> #16. When you want to mate other people regardless of their gender. [gayweather]
> #17. When asked "How did you do on your date last night?", you respond "I beat her in 4 moves.". [jomega]
> #18. When you play chess for 8 hours straight (yearly rapid arena). [Gamingapocolpse-11]
> #19. When you rage, beacuse your friend didn't see checkmate in 1. [TrueShogiPlayer]
> #20. You refer to poor players at any game as "patzers". [jomega]
> #21. When you get annoyed at the overuse of the word "stalemate" to describe situations that are not in stalemate at all. [jsettle1]
> #22. You get way too excited about the new Horsey merch on lichess. [jsettle1]
> #23. You named a pet after a famous chess player. [jomega]
> #24. You check+ her be4 you mate# her. [Chess-ish]
> #25. You spend time reading a thread about what makes you a chess player. [Puredication]
> #26. You post in this thread. [RangerGeek50]
> #27. Your username is way too chess-themed. [Mate_On_f7]
> #28. When you leave a twitch stream and say "Good Knight everyone, lol". [fromtiltedtotitled]
> #29. When you dream about crazy checkmate sequences that are impossible in the real life game...like me. . [Dolphinchess11]
> #30. When you are angry because there are two #9 signs so you skip the 31 to keep things balanced [AngelaRoss]
> #31. When the word "overload" doesn't have anything to do with electricity. [killF7]
> #32. When you say check mate but you're not talking to an Australian waiter. [MrAverage]
> #33. When you play too much blitz and end up gaining only 2 rating points in a day even after playing 30 games. [SupremePatzer]
> #34. When you tend to hide behind your queen when there is a fight going on. [gayweather]
> #35. When you play 300 ultrabullet games in a day only for someone to tell you that it's not chess [SupremePatzer]
> #36. When you walk into a conversation and heard "blitz", you think they are talking about chess, when they are really talking about (American) football (rushing the passer). [jomega]
> #37. When your girlfriend is angry, beacuse you still play chess at 3.am. [TrueShogiPlayer]
> #38. You use the chess clock as an alarm clock. [Shiaxou]
> #39. When you spend the whole game thinking it was a blitz game only for time to run out and you then realise it was a bullet game. [SupremePatzer]
> #40. You can beat your parents easily. (And you do it a lot.). [maddymoon]
> #41. You become an artist because you like to draw. [TacTicIsTicTac]
> #42. When you try to light your lighter with the cigarette. (Usually during or after the tournament game). [Lizimikaru]
> #43. You know perfectly the difference between strategy and tactic. [Yahreinah]
> #44. You have never played chess in your entire life. [SupremePatzer]
> #45. When you give your kid a knight for a pet. [LChessMaster3]
> #46. Your only friends are also chess players. [maddymoon]
> #47. You spend hours on chess and your rating still drops. [IntelligentEagle]
> #48. When you play 30 rapid games and only gain 1 point. [CrazySharkyy]
> #49. When you can remember your last few games but not what you ate yesterday. [FunnyAnimatorJimTV]
> #50. When you think all knight about your last classical game, and what tactics you missed. [mysterious_expert]
> #51. You tell your stepdaughter you are going to a chess tournament. She says, "Ooogh, major nerdville!". [sparowe14]
> #52. If you prefer chess to your marriage . [LouisV2000]
> #53. You write "knight" instead of "night". [jomega]
> #54. You use the words "major", "minor", "majority", and "minority" often. [UnicornPenguins]
> #55. You overthink a casual checkers match because of chess. [DimitriDeli]
> #56. You regularly use the term "prophylaxis" but it has nothing to do with disease prevention. [billy_eyelashhh]
> #57. When seeing the word mate doesn't suggest anything sexual. [sparowe14]
> #58. When you go to a pawn shop and expect to find chess pieces. [Goke09]
> #59. You have a lot of school chess badges. [Yt_LoRdOfThEdArK_nZ]
> #60. You upload your games to pawnhub. Get it? [snipermode]
> #61. When you said your wife/husdband to go on few beers with friends and return home late after many hours completley sober with chess kit in hands. [fastlearner50]
> #62. You can't understand, how is it possible, that someone doesn't know the name "Carlsen". [GlowBlock64]
> #63. When you finish your sentences with "but ok". [funkyfun]
> #64. You hate coronavirus just because it's a reason, why the candidates tournament is paused. [GlowBlock64]
> #65. There are a lot of situations where you would criticize something by saying "I wouldn't recommend doing that" or sometimes adding "Although it might be playable". [harperlewis]
> #66. The pawn is your favorite piece because it can become anything once its promoted. [itxSMG]
> #67. When your 6 year old sets the Knights up facing each other like Magnus Carlson. [hampy]
> #68. Your friend asks you what kind of book you want to read, and you tell them that you would pick a chess book to read. [mysterious_expert]
> #69. When you know French, Italian, Spanish, English, Russian, Polish and Indian like a king! [M17]
> #70. When you can easily name five active or retired chess players. [gayweather]
> #71. When your girlfriend buys you chess themed birthday presents. [hampy]
> #72. You can list several reasons why Lichess is "obviously superior" to chess.com. [Shiaxou]
> #73. You cringe when a non-chess player tries to talk about chess. [BraveHorsey]
> #74. When you ruin your life and mental health because of your hobby or profession, but still get to have pleasure and joy while it lasts.
> Oh wait, that's a drug addict/dealer... Nevermind, just skip the second part. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #75. When Octopus-knights are your worst knightmare. [ChuckPhil]
> #76. When Code geass is your favourite anime. [Elias-Lebrun]
> #77. When the pepper and salt look like black and white pawn. [Sazuna]
> #78. When you care more about your lichess ratings than all of your social networks. [Sazuna]
> #79. When you talk to yourself while calculating and people think you are crazy. [Ihgchess]
> #80. When you beat everybody easily in chess tournaments at your school. [UnicornPenguins]
> #81. You have BCE close by while working on Lichess studies. [jomega]
> #82. You know what BCE stands for. [jomega]
> #83. You look BCE up and find there are two books by that name! [jomega]
> #84. When you insist that your daughter's four horses has to start the day on opposite ends of the field. [SycoraxCirce]
> #85. You are too pessimistic, depressed and bitter to actually write a cheerful, humorous comment on this thread. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #86. When you stare at your lichess ratings all day and compare them to your friends. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #87. When you look at life as a chess game (which is true up to an extent). [A_0123456]
> #88. When you realize that you missed all of your meals due to playing chess and end up raiding the fridge at night. [Owlnight257]
> #89. When you call chess a sport (it is, but only chess players would agree). You won't believe how many arguments I get onto with my friends about whether chess is a sport - they are simply unable to sway my opinion that chess is not a sport, but I'm unable to sway them either because they say all sorts of stuff about why chess is not a sport (all which are ludicrous and false).[A_0123456]
> #90. You insist that White king should start on a dark square and Black king on a light square, even if Chuck Norris insists the opposite. [Owly79]
> #91. You are the first one to ask if there is wizard chess the first time you watch Harry Potter. [A_0123456]
> #92. When watching a movie with a chess board, you carefully observe if the queen is on the right square. [MrAverage]
> #93. When a chess position appears in a movie, you analyse it. [GlowBlock64]
> #94. When a chess position appears in a movie, you can quote the famous game it was taken from. [jomega]
> #95. When a chess scene appears in a movie, you immediately check if the King and Queen is placed on the correct starting squares. Additionally you check if the board is placed in the correct direction as well. [Nordlandia]
> #96. When you watch Harry Potter and see the final position of the chess game and look up what puzzle it is from and whether it is possible to reach that position via decent chess play. [A_0123456]
> #97. When it says "This is a chess CAPTCHA" and you look for captures rather than mate [DarkMongoose]
> #98. When you are slightly above average intelligence yet mildly self centered and obsessive and struggle when chatting in pointless conversations. [comfortable]
> #99. When you play a good game of chess and you must show it to your non-chess friends. [GlowBlock64]
> #100. When your favorite youtuber is Agadmator. [TrueShogiPlayer]
> #101. When you say captures, captures every time you see a hot woman in a pub. [NaturalBornTraveller]
> #102. You wake up and play chess before breakfast. [SupremePatzer]
> #103. You talk about opening lines in your sleep. [minnesotablizzard]
> #104. You win the huge seasonal marathon tournaments by playing all 24 hours (that's kinda overkill but whatever). [A_0123456]
> #105. When you get really A N G R Y when your friend says that you can take your own piece. [Owlnight257]
> #106. you bring a skewer to battle. [minnesotablizzard]
> #107. When you see "skewer" in a restaurant menu and wonder why they included chess terms. [A_0123456]
> #108. you say "never play f6" every time your opponent plays f6. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #109. When you call lichess a videogame (I mean... it kind of is...). [A_0123456]
> #110. When "two bishops mate" doesn't sound like a church scandal. [MrAverage]
> #111. When you play so good that people actually think that you're Wesley So. [a45wesley]
> #112. When you think that the queen is more powerful than the king (I mean the king has limited movement compared to the queen...). [A_0123456]
> #113. When you talk about a: "Black and White Night" referring to Roy Orbison's famous concert and Chess interchangeably. [Kev_aa]
> #114. When you decide to play from the positions in
> www.lukesurl.com/archives/comic/libertarian-chess-is-the-same-as-the-regular-version-but-all-the-pieces-can-move-wherever-the-hell-they-like [pokahtoa]
> #115. When you play at least 50 games a day and played more than 12 hours in the marathon. [Fischer_and_Chips88]
> #116. You would rather play chess than eat dinner. [Fischer_and_Chips88]
> #117. When you spend your school lunch times at chess club. [Fischer_and_Chips88]
> #118. You play a bullet game while your code compiles. [kortit]
> #119. A chess site is the first recommandation of your browser. [kortit]
> #120. When you introduce to someone you say I am gm (me). [newagear]
> #121. When you use the word "dubious" in normal (casual) speech (like the 3 words from #2). [Mi5ter_t]
> #122. If you checked or read all the 13 pages of this forum to check if somebody used word "dubious" previously in one of the posts. [Mi5ter_t]
> #123. Somebody checks your phone to find the PIN number and miracoulusly sees very beautiful pattern with fingerprints of 64 squares of the chessboard :) [Mi5ter_t]
> #124. You misunderstand the saying "across the board". [DarkMongoose]
> #125. You dont like when somebody calls pawns as the pieces :) [Mi5ter_t]
> #126. You play chess. [beep081]
> #127. You get super hyped up when someone makes even a little referral to chess. [Owlnight257]
> #128. Your bedroom wall is a picture of Horsey. [RangerGeek50]
> #129. You think that knights in the medieval ages were horses that rode on their own and played in a chessboard. [A_0123456]
> #130. You decide you need to post in this forum even though you have no actual reason :) [aquagirl272]
> #131. You fight against racism with the reason that black is ok and can achieve equality. [ChuckPhil]
> #132. Your only friend is Magnus Carlsen. [A_0123456]
> #133. You don't find chess boring. [UnicornPenguins]
> #134. You can’t sleep because you keep hearing “And it was in this position that Magnus Carlsen resigned the game” inside your head. [beep081]
> #135. When abcdefgh - 12345678 are more than just letters and numbers to you. [Aceblade]
> #136 When you meet people and the first thing you do is to guess if they play chess, and the next thing you ask them if they play. You never give up and convince them how fun this game is; and if you still can't convince them to learn chess, you motivate them that it is very good against dementia ... depression and co. I still am not sure if I'm a chess player though because I don't learn any tactics. I just play
> the way I can my best. [xxsoapxx]
> #137. You secretly play chess in your Calculus class. [DarkMongoose]
> #138. When you play at least 300 Ultra bullet games per day and win 90% on average and some patzer says it is not real chess (if it was not real chess lichess would not count it as chess games you played but it does so therefore it is real chess :P). [Chessy64]
> #139. If you have a lichess account. [A_0123456]
> #140. If you obsess over ratings and have a meltdown if you lose rating points. [Chessy64]
> #141. When you as a German say "I want to blitz now" and you don't have a single clue why your english friends suddenly are looking so terrified. [Katzenschinken]
> #142. When you can notice a 5-move combination in 2 minutes, but cannot notice a person standing behind you in 10 minutes. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #143. When you abandon school/work for blunder fest in bullet. [Dario19503]
> #144. When you hate split rooks. [Caimz0919]
> #145. You literally apply chess pieces to the type of characters in other things. [Clearchesser]
> #146. You buy a gaming laptop to run stockfish 11. [AS_level]
> #147. When you are wondering what to write in this thread. [Archer66]
> #148. You get excited because there are more than 150 reasons in this thread! [aquagirl272]
> #149. When you tell your therapist that's all good in your privat life - you have 127 friends and 49 are even titled ones. [KingThisPawn]
> #150. You think that if you break 2700 rating, you are a famous f***ing legend. I hope mods get the reference, lol. [CM AlEkHiNeSgUn1937]
> #151. You overclock your PC so that you could analyze your game up to depth 200 or something. You don't care whether the analysis takes billions of years or not... [A_0123456]
> #152. when you first type 'Lichess.org' in the search bar and the first suggestion is 'lichen' and you rage and scream "LICHESS IS NOT LICHEN!". [DarkMongoose]
> #153. You dream about mates in 1 and forks or skewers, but the chess terms of these things. [beep081]
> #154. you make skewers out of edible chess pieces, and use a fork with a knight design. [DarkMongoose]
> #155. When you enter a Masonic lodge you instantly ask, where are the pieces. [TheRider]
> #156. When 90% or more of your screen time is spent on lichess. [aquagirl272]
> #157. If you are at a party with your girlfriend but somehow you feel weak - as soon as a strong girl stays in front of you - you offer to trade Queens! [KingThisPawn]
> #158. If you have to write something here whatever it costs, and just have to read all 163 posts and even forget that your beer gets warm in front of you. damn! But Yesss! Mate captcha in one! GG. [KingThisPawn]
> #159. You like to be technical. [unicornPenguins]
> #160. When you spot a horsie on every single historical picture... [A_0123456]
> #161. You can solve the Lichess captcha in less than a second. (I got a Fool's mate captcha right now). [beep081]
> #162. Your online dating profile states, “Interested in rooking up”. [Neverness]
> #163. You get extremely offended when someone confuses chess with checkers. [runtilmorrow]
> #164. You get nightmares about missed opportunities you didn't play in your chess games. [runtilmorrow]
> #165. You have a pawn stuffed toy. [beep081]
> #166. You have a pawn chew toy. [Timegod]
> #167. You wrote a dissertation in Ancient Greek literature for College entitled, “Euripides' Pawndemonium, 600 BC”. [Neverness]
> #168. When you play chess by yourself... #Big brain. [BISHOPKNIGHTMATE]
> #169. You have no friends. [GlowBlock64]
> #170. You think social distancing is long castle. [Timegod]
> #171. You dream about chess. [DarkKnightAttack]
> #172. Your surname is ‘Chess’. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Chess. [Neverness]
> #173. You do something... while playing chess. [RikEvaos]
> #174. You differentiate between non-chess comments and chess comments. [A_0123456]
> #175. When your stepsister gets stuck but you can't help because you're playing bullet. [DoubPig]
> #176. You tell your friend you got a new game, he asks if he can play it. You say 'Sure', he goes to the XBox, but you go to get your new chess board, and say 'It's not over there'. [DarkMongoose]
> #177. You actually check and count to make sure that the # are the right #, then get it caught up because you know it will haunt you forever if you don't :). [aquagirl272]
> #178. You wonder why there isn't a 5 second-increment after the clock passes midnight. [hajos00]
> #179. When you see a GrandMaster you freak out and everyone around you thinks your a freak. [Ice_CReAmM]
> #180. Is it a sign that you are a chess player when you find a chess player very s e x y ? No matter how they look, they just have to know how to move. [xxsoapxx]
> #181. Your only PC program is ChessBase. [GlowBlock64]
> #182. You overclock your PC to run stockfish analysis. [A_0123456]
> #183. You convince your Bro to get an account on lichess. [aquagirl272]
> #184. You love shooting you siblings with Nerf guns (you have to be a good attacker or you probably won't win many games) [SAHales1]
> #185. You prefer Black and White over Black and Yellow [ChuckPhil]
> #186. You are totally exhausted after a weekend tournament and cannot sleep due to stress and decide to relax by playing more chess online. [JariIkonen]
> #187. You have a bookshelf full of chess books. [beep081]
> #188. When you hear about black and white movies, you think they're about chess. [A_0123456]
> #189. When you meet someone, to appear intelligent you say: Oh, I play chess, even though you are 900 rated and can't beat your 6 years old brother. [RikEvaos]
> #190. Your mom uses the word 'blunder' on a daily basis. [aquagirl272]
> #191. When someone uses the word 'analysis', instead of thinking of some really smart person, you think of chess. [aquagirl272]
> #192. When you hear the word, "mate," you ask who won the game. [GrandMasterBenners]
> #193. This is what pops up when you type school in the recommended "lichess.org". When you type up live "lichess.org". When you type up thing i hate "Anti Sicilians". [LChessMaster3]
> #194. You use the middle finger to point things. [marvaleouseek]
> #195. You talk a lot about tempi but have no sense of rhythm. [luxworm]
> #196. You are unemployed for the past 4 years, you live in your mom's basement and hope for a gf. [LGBT_Girl]
> #197. You are not POTUS. [obladie]
> #198. When it is quarantine and your friends complain about not being able to get out often and play football or try to pick up girls but you are actually happy because the CANDIDATES is starting and you have the chance to watch the games live and then go on to participate in online tournaments for the rest of the day. [jimmy2005]
> #199. You cheated on your wife with some girl at Taco Bell and 2 young children [SportsChesser]
> #200. When you try to get a 1000 Signs You're A Chess Player thread back on track... [hampy]
> #201. When you are so obsessed about finding ways that you lose count. [A_0123456]
> #202. You wonder what happened with this thread. [Mate_On_f7]
> #203. You hope that people stop and think about what they have done to this thread. [beep081]
> #204. You wish people wold stop flagging their own posts. D'oh... [obladie]
> #205. You can resist touching the "computer assistance" button. [Mr-DST]
> #206. You correct people when they call a knight a horse. [Ice_CReAmM]
> #207. You bought yourself a goldfish, and named the thing 'Stockfish'! [Neverness]
> #208. At a reception you play a blindfold game against a fellow chess player. [tpr]
> #209. When your parents ask if you are doing your homework and you are actually playing on lichess for 6h straight. [The_Conquerer37331]
> #210. When solving chess tactics start invading your dreams. [Chubbsy]
> #211. You NEED this thread :D. [GlowBlock64]
> #212. When you sign your kids up to ChessKid.com because in the UK, for three months, Gold memberships are free for all children and schools.
> [hampy]
> #213. You hope that people stop using this thread as a fighting thread. [beep081]
> #214. You absolutely LOVE glass chess pieces. [UnicornPenguins]
> #215. You break order just to get the forum correct. [runtilmorrow]
> #216. You still have hope somehow we'll hit 1000 reasons. [runtilmorrow]
> #217. Your bedroom is decorated with chess pieces. [beep081]
> #218. You think that if you say checkmate you win. [EdenG08]
> #219. Your first date was with a BOT. "Mmmmmm, that's a delicious rook right there, pass me some please?". [GrandMasterBenners]
> #220. When your wife catches you sleeping with chess books, watch out for a divorce threat! [fastlearner50]
> #221. When you buy that lathe for your company due to professional needs and the first thing you do is put a stainless steel rod into it and turn the set of chess pieces you always wanted to have. [Katzenschinken]
> #222. You hate when people say "eat" the piece. [reddragongamer]
> #223. You panic when the waitress says "Cheque.". [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #224. You hate people that also call the knight a horse (*facepalm*). [BISHOPKNIGHTMATE]
> #225. You draw pawns everywhere. [beep081]
> #226. You have a pawn tattoo. [beep081]
> #227. When bored in class you come up with random endgamey positions and analyze them. [JARANDujo]
> #228 When you're not actively thinking about something else, your mind just randomly starts playing a chessgame with itself and you can't help but continue it. [JARANDujo]
> #229. When you go to a pawn shop and get angry that there isnt any chess related items. [jonokeys]
> #230. When you post in this thread just because it fell down in the topic list. [GlowBlock64]
> #231. You have a Horsie t-shirt. [beep081]
> #232. Everybody calls you a chess master when you're not even at FM level. [UnicornPenguins]
> #233. You play hangman, but use "zwischenzug" as your word (Zwischenzug is synonymous for intermezzo). [A_0123456]
> #234. You wonder if this topic will ever make it to #1000. [JARANDujo]
> #235. You blunder a queen and calls it a sacrifice. [move44]
> #236. If you are saying "gimme horsey" everywhere just to get a little popularity. [Kex09]
> #237. You agree 1. d4 is best by test. [CoffeeArabica]
> #238. You spend a lot of time thinking what to do against 1.d4. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #239. You say captures captures every time you bite your food. [beep081]
> #240. You had a dream horsie was your boyfriend. [Timegod]
> #241. Your friends think you're a prodigy but your ratings are not that good on lichess. [A_0123456]
> #242. When you cheat on your gf and she asks "what was that" and you respond "blunder". [Kex09]
> #243. You think you are useless when you lose rating points and have a bad opinion on yourself. [A_0123456]
> #244. When you are not sure to what your life will promote. [Kex09]
> #245. You absolutely hate your mouse and want to get a new one soon. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #246. You live in a chessboard. [beep081 ]
> #247. When you don't want this forum post to be forgotten because it makes you feel like a chess player, even though you don't care of sentimentality. [xxsoapxx]
> #248. If someone flags you, you KNOW that they're a horrible person in real life. [JARANDujo]
> #249. You cringe when family members call you a prodigy or talented while little kids beat you all the time. [Globglogabgalab]
> #250. You sing ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ to Horsey. [beep081]
> #251. You buy a lot of chess books from Amazon, so much that the mailman calls you Garry Kasparov because he thinks you are a GM. [beep081]
> #252. When you get home from work and you're dead tired and your eyes are closing in, but you still think of solving the captcha ((:)) [xxsoapxx]
> #253. The stench from your apartment is enough to keep the landlord at bay , so you get more time to play. [Darksouls]
> #254. You try and play a weird opening that people don’t know but they still adjust (1 d3 2 f4). [J3742]
> #255. You are a chess player. [beep081]
> #256. If you use the word "positional," at all; ever; in any context. Edit: ok with a few exceptions. [billy_eyelashhh]
> #257. You own ChessBrahs swag. [AHeroRises]
> #258. If you are on this page lmao. [Thanos_universe50]
> #259. Whenever you see anywhere numbers like 2500 you think "hmm, thats a good rating". [etaLaskera]
> #260. When you accidentally knock over something and when you reposition it you say "I adjust". [VlackStorms]
> #261. When you won 15 straight and got 20 rank points just to lose 1 match and lose 25 rank points. [Kex09]
> #262. You give speeches about how knights are better than bishops. [beep081]
> #263. You get promoted at work and for some reason it makes you transgender now!? [lurarose]
> #264. You get excited when new storage becomes available in your house and your first though is: "Hey, I could keep my chess books in there". [Kev_aa]
> #265. You get annoyed whenever you enter a shopping mall because they don't place the black and white tiles properly. [pokahtoa]
> #266. When you're happy to saty home so you can play chess all day [The_Conquerer37331]
> #267. You want to be a GM and everyone thinks you want to be a General Motors car. [beep081]
> #268. When your opponent plays the pirc or Sicilian dragon they ask do you need to learn the rules. [MLCCLUKA1881]
> #269. All you can eat restaurants become all you can capture chess clubs. [beep081]
> #270. You hope that people don’t get off track. [beep081]
> #271. You think about chess positions as you sleep, and dream about them. [RubySeaTurtle]
> #272. When people are not posting links and any other shitty stuff that doesnt belong here. [Kex09]
> #273. When you recognize your opponents opening, so you type "magnus carlsen XY opening tutorial" instantly. [Kex09]
> #274. You start thinking that 1000 signs are to many signs... [marvaleouseek]
> #275. I think you are a real chess player when you want to find out what good/bad moves you made irrespective of your win or loss. [knightforked]
> #276. If you practice you will be a good player. [MarkBiriukovIsGoodyt]
> #277. You're gonna blast away your Opponent in atomic. [Pegasus31]
> #278. You're annoyed by people who keep trying to plug their site/app/video/channel on this thread. [JARANDujo]
> #279. Your biggest idol is Horsie. [beep081]
> #280. Horsie gives you a boner. [Timegod]
> #281. You get very sad that you missed the opportunity to be either #200 or #300, then decide to start stalking this forum so you can get #400. [aquagirl272]
> #282. On a checkered tablecloth, you study the different knight move routes for passing the salt. [sparowe14]
> #283. When you've waited for a sign all your life, but there seem to be no sign, no nothing at all. lol! [hitAndRun]
> #284. You are making a chessboard out of toilet paper rolls. [beep081]
> #285. You think chess.com is the best site. Then finally you realize its a cash cow and it bloated scum. [Timegod]
> #286. You own three wide ties with chess pieces painted on each and proudly wear them to dinner parties. [James451]
> #287. You watch "DIY Chess Board" videos on YouTube. [GlowBlock64]
> #288. You call a stupid decision a "blunder". [EnderShadow8]
> #289. Your friends call you a nerd but then you checkmate them in two moves. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #290. You have the Pirate Flag. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #291. You wear a chess shirt. [beep081]
> #292. You are smarter then everyone else. [jamesB009]
> #293. No one cares for you, even your own dog. [James451]
> #294. When you wife is tired of Agadmators "Hello everyone!". [Kex09]
> #295. You are treated as a prodigy in school even though you are a 1300. [beep081]
> #296. You become despondent over a rating points loss, but wonder what all the fuss is about covid 19. [James451]
> #297. Even as a young teen, you are strangely infatuated with an older Marlene Dietrich, Katharine Hepburn as well. [James451]
> #298. You think that by doing the captcha (computer test) in lichess you are a prodigy and deserve 3000 Fide points and beat Magnus Carlsen. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #299 When you hear "KID" you first think of the King's Indian Defense, not a child. [Supersanic]
> #300. You contribute to this list. [orangetriangle]
> #301. You check this post regularly. [marvaleouseek]
> #302. You think of Mephisto when you hear "Greenday: she's a Rebel". [EdForceOne]
> #303. Your mother loves you, but thinks you are an idiot; your father will not speak to you. [James451]
> #304. You teach your friends how to castle. [beep081]
> #305. He is so good at chess that he likes to watch movies while his opponent is making his next move. [g8h8j8cn]
> #306. When you play with so much focus, that major distractions don't seem to exist. The whole world seems to disappear while you are engrossed in your game. Total bliss chess! :]. [Skittle-Head]
> #307. The humor of Woody Allen escapes you; Buddy Hackett as well. [James451]
> #308. When you hear Michael Jacksons "Black or White" and you already have a nice checkmate sequence in your mind. [Kex09]
> #309. You have read every Harry Potter book and can recite the names of all the characters in order of appearance. [James451]
> #310. You tell random people that you are a GM, even though you aren’t. [beep081]
> #311. You saw in the video of TheOdd1sOut that all of his "checkmates" were king vs king and knight and a stalemate. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #312. You play in simuls against titled players hoping you win on time. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #313. You know that someone skipped a number but you're afraid to put 350 again because maybe you're wrong. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #314. You want to play chess all day long. [beep081]
> #315. When you watch agadmator's videos on youtube, and moreover when you find the moves he asks for. [Christosagnostos]
> #316. You saw the video that Magnus uploaded yesterday. [beep081]
> #317. You watch the Nations Cup. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #318. шахматы шашки нарды это игры а шахматы шашки нарды и наушники это высокие технологии. [Aburovtsev]
> #319. You would like to know why @Aburovtsev typed weird nonsense in Russian. [beep081]
> #320. You LOVE to solve the Lichess captcha. [beep081]
> #321. You have a chess keychain. [beep081]
> #322. When you think it's hilariously funny to riff on the "Unbeatable Urusov Gambit". See YouTube + St. Louis Chess Club + Chess Openings Explained. [Ampere2K19]
> #323. When you solves the daily puzzle of Lichess everyday. [marvaleouseek]
> #324. You have a Lichess account. [beep081]
> #325. You hope that the copy of this thread doesn’t overtake. [beep081]
> #326. Our employment prospects are dim such as a knight you know where and our income potential is limited as a bishop hemmed in on a back rank. But at least we have our mother's basement. Does that rhyme? [James451]
> #327. You think it's funny that people (guilty!) use # to say what they're thinking about the posts. [aaquagirl272]
> #328. You immediately noticed when lichess changed their logo a while ago. [aquagirl272]
> #329. Our dinner plates are arranged along horizontal and vertical lines , and no food is permitted to be in contact with another. [James451]
> #330. You have hung so many pawns it has ceased to bother you...sort of. [Ampere2K19]
> #331. You’ve dreamed of pawns promoting to knights. It was your biggest nightmare. [beep081]
> #332. You make a flipbook of a pawn promoting to a queen. [beep081]
> #333. You don't want this thread to die so you continue posting. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #334. Your favorite toy is a King. [beep081]
> #335. In cobblestone on the street you always see a chessboard. [tobiiii]
> #336. You have a shirt that says “Wake up, play chess, sleep, repeat” or something like that. [beep081]
> #337. You have horsey in the background of lichess. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #338. You like to promote your pawns to knights, so they move cooler. [beep081]
> #339. You go to the forum just to solve the checkmate puzzles. [learningchesskid3]
> #340. You know how to play chaturanga. [beep081]
> #341. You give vague answers to questions without answering the question at all. [TheGingerBeardMan]
> #342. You prefer chess over Monopoly. [beep081]
> #343. You think you've made brilliant moves, and without errors or blunders on a game, but Stockfish's analysis make you realize that it was just a patzer dream. [move44]
> #344. When people say “Italy , Germany or India “ you think about the openings instead of the places. [jamesB009]
> #345. You think @beep081 has done too much on the 1000 signs Yu are a chess player forum [jamesB009]
> #346. When you know the story of Raul Capablanca and the martian. [marvaleouseek]
> #347. Your favorite website is lichess. [aquagirl272]
> #348 When you know the song, Oh Capablanca, by Juga. [sparowe14]
> #349. You hate when movies make scenes with illegal moves. [beep081]
> #350. When you have sleepless nights thinking of Magnus. [MUMAnshul130105]
> #351. You saw in Gravity Falls that Stanford was making the queen and the bishops jump over the pawns while bill was making legal moves. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #352. When you look at your table calender and think of the squares as chessboard.... [chesseater78]
> #353. You don't skip the ad about the MasterClass of Kasparov. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #354. When you try to finish 1000 signs of a chess player. [marvaleouseek]
> #355. You spent so much time explaining opening theory to your friend who knows next to nothing about chess that your throat hurt the next day. [ExaltedToast]
> #356. You win your friends in 3 moves. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #357. You like to be the 400th in this topic. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #358. You tell your friend he had an accuracy of exactly 78.9 percent and you had an accuracy of 98.7 percent. [Dangerouskid]
> #359. When you doubt that you are XD! [bravoecho]
> #360. When you never fail the chess CAPTCHA checkmate in one. [marvaleouseek]
> #361. When you beat 8 year old Magnus Carlsen and tell your friends even though they don’t care. [beep081]
> #362. When your favorite thing to watch is Chess. [imakitty]
> #363. When during an intense fight, you say 'I will sacrifice you' instead of 'I will kill you'... [Akbar2thegreat]
> #364. When you are thinking about how to checkmate CORONAVIRUS. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #365. When you use 'fork' to eat most of the foods. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #366. When one of your favourite phrase is 'Like a boss' [because of a caption of Chess with Suren video: Like a boss! Mikhail Tal goes for King's Gambit]. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #367. When you once replied 'Protecting king' instead of 'Present sir' in class. [This really happened with me last year]. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #368. When you skip science to learn the Sicilian defence (get it). [MUMAnshul130105]
> #369. When you make terrible jokes and expect chess players to like them in a huge 1000 signs chess forum. [MUMAnshul130105]
> #370. When you just saw the last video uploaded today of Magnus Carlsen in his YT channel. [marvaleouseek]
> #371. You watch Naka’s videos everyday. [beep081]
> #372. When you constantly use the word 'gambit' in non-chess talk as well. [PowerfullKris15]
> #373. Watch Carlsen's games on lichess and realize 1 minute later what's going on. [PowerfullKris15]
> #374. When you spend hours with the chessboard...but still your rating doesn't increase. [PowerfullKris15]
> #375. You find pointless cheating in chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #376. You think chess is an art, science and sport. [beep081]
> #377. When you dream with chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #378. You eat chess pieces for breakfast. [beep081]
> #379. When you see the mouse cursor, you think of ultrabullet sign. [Christosagnostos]
> #380. When you are awake at 11pm playing chess alone and testing openings, middlegames and endgames. [Christosagnostos]
> #381. When you get more angry when somebody says chess stupid than when somebody says you fat. [Christosagnostos]
> #382. When you say "That was a blunder.." when something unfortunate happens in real life. [Firewithfire213]
> #383. When your friend says "good night", you respond "Good bishops are better than good knight". [jyotisko06]
> #384. You rage when your Rating drops. [NK2134]
> #385. You tell all your friends to get Lichess :). [beep081]
> #386. You hate chess.com and use lichess.org. [GlowBlock64]
> #387. You think chess.com is expensive. [beep081]
> #388. Te aburriste de chess.com/ y te veniste a refugiar a lichess.org/. [Estefania66]
> #389. You wonder how @Estefania66 posted on this thread if it’s in English (I’m bilingual btw). [beep081]
> #390. Your friend texts you what your favorite game is and you say, lichess.org. [J3742]
> #391. You block your friend when they tell you that chess.com is better. [beep081]
> #392. Chess is your favorite art. [beep081]
> #393. You wonder why there’s a chess.com fan in this thread (the person who disliked my comment). It’s a joke, no hate [beep081]
> #394. When you love the environment and the community of lichess.org and you enjoy just being connected all the time. [Christosagnostos]
> #395. If you have seen the first podcast of agadmator with MVL. [Christosagnostos]
> #396. You know whom the quote: "Chess is life" is. [marvaleouseek]
> #397. You have 3000 chessboards. [beep081]
> #398. You are bored to see the posts of beep081. [move44]
> #399. You know every chessgame you’ve played by heart. [beep081]
> #400. You say "outstanding move" more than non-chess players. [marvaleouseek]
> #401. When you actually get a painful sensation throughout your body, when you allow your rooks to be skewered by a bishop. Oh the pain, the pain of it all! :]. [Skittle-Head]
> #402. You say botezlive and chessbrah when someone say what do you watch on twitch. [AndriiD0708]
> #403. You bought horsey merch. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #404. You laugh at Counter-Strike while playing c4. [alex0u]
> #405. You never play the "Botez gambit declined". [alex0u]
> #406. Unaligned pawns make you unconfortable. [alex0u]
> #407. You secure your account with the password "e4e5Bc4Nc6Qh5Nf6Qxf7#". [alex0u]
> #408. You play chess even if you know that it won't make a living. [alex0u]
> #409. You checkmate the queen in your dreams. [alex0u]
> #410. Before posting, you solve a chess captcha matching with your supposed password. [alex0u]
> #411. You hate when people complain that you post too muchon this thread. [beep081]
> #412 You call a real horse a knight. [saleel42]
> #413 You spotted that Hal tricked Poole into resigning early. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #414. When you are confused as to why Czech people are bad at chess... [minionchess]
> #415. At night, if you dream about playing chess in a tournament, you suddenly wake up, sit up straight and say,'Checkmate!' with your eyes wide open before realizing that you werent playing chess at all (don't look confused...it has happened to me before). [Anonymous7123]
> #416. You read chess manga. [beep081]
> #417 When you have played at least 1 brilliant game or a game with no mistakes. [Christosagnostos]
> #418. You've beaten 1 of your parents before. [Dillon-S]
> #419. You have a chessboard in your house. [Jatinsuman]
> #420. Instead of going for the checkmate, you slowly capture all of your opponents pieces while listening to The Rains of Castamere. [TGBM95]
> #421. Your favorite movie is Searching for Bobby Fischer. [beep081]
> #422. Your followed and subbed channels on twitch are chess-based. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #423. You don't get bored during quarantine. [marvaleouseek]
> #424. You hope people stop spamming forums with things that have nothing to do with the topic. [beep081]
> #425. You are following The Botez Twitch stream cuz you want to see the Botez Gambit in real time. [Ampere2K19]
> #426. You understand chess sound memes. [marvaleouseek]
> #427. When you see a chess meme you write: O-O. [marvaleouseek]
> #428. You don't want this topic to die. [Dr_Manhatt4n]
> #429. You don't want Hikaru to get adopted in one of his streams. [beep081]
> #430. You don't play PUBG if you are a serious chess player. [AdorableGuy]
> #431. You know castling. [Jatinsuman]
> #432. Your favorite hobby is watching Hikaru’s videos. [beep081]
> #433. You use the word mate with just one meaning. [marvaleouseek]
> #434. You can't count. (we're on post 470 and number 477). [maddymoon]
> #435. When your opponent has nothing along with king, you sacrifice other pieces and promote pawns to Knights/Bishops and checkmate with them just like Hikaru Nakamura. [Akbar2thegreat]
> #436. You have played (at least once) the 4 player chess. [Christosagnostos]
> #437. You have beaten someone with at least 300 points better than you. [Dillon-S]
> #438. You know what the rating system is. [SavageAntarctican]
> #439. You post on a forum like this one. [Cedur216]
> #440. You read chess books. [marvaleouseek]
> #441. You watch people who stream chess content. [Dario19503]
> #442. You play chess online. [Transient_Eternity]
> #443. You want to post sign number 500. [beep081]
> #444. You know the shortest checkmate possible. [marvaleouseek]
> #445. You can't help but bring anything chess up in other, real-life conversations. [FunnyAnimatorJimTV]
> #446. You know that you can mate with bishop and knight but not with 2 knights against lone king. [gayweather]
> #447. You don't even want to learn bishop+knight mate and hope you never experience it in your games. [Cedur216]
> #448. You delibarately let ur time run down to 0.1 seconds and then checkmate in one. [Dangerouskid]
> #449. You play chess 24/7. [beep081]
> #450. You get angry about chess scenes in movies, because there often are impossible positions, or people playing it wrong. [braunegefahr]
> #451. @braunegefahr You don't like to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for that reason... [SavageAntarctican]
> #452. When you go to the stable, you want to ride a horse, but the person says " we have horsies but no horses". [A_Crunchy_Onion]
> #453. You know how to castle. [david9426]
> #454. You have chess for dinner. [marvaleouseek]
> #455. You know how to win a game of chess. [david9426]
> #456. You've played 1 game of normal chess on lichess. [david9426]
> #457. You really, really, really enjoy Alice through the looking glass. [marvaleouseek]
> #458. You know how chess pieces move. [Jatinsuman]
> #459. You have a FIDE CHESS TITLE. [Jatinsuman]
> #460. You’ve read all of the signs. [beep081]
> #461. You have read all the signs and got upset that the 1-1000 counter is currently not correct :). [Mi5ter_t]
> #462. You know that there were people who were arguing in this thread and messed up the counter and then someone posted like 6 signs in one post. [beep081]
> #463. — If McDonald's sponsors Magnus Carlsen: 'McArlsen'. [Neverness]
> #464. You want to learn the Alice Chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #465. You say “bing, bang, boom” when you calculate lines. [beep081]
> #466. You think life is a chess game and you constantly try to find ways to checkmate others in any interaction! [parsayazdi]
> #467. You don't care about the weather. [marvaleouseek]
> #468. Chess players tend to be obsessive and let the game swallow up their entire soul. [Eleuthero]
> #469. You don’t want people to post stuff that’s not on topic on the forums. [beep081]
> #470. When you walk around the tournament hall with your zipper wide open! [Lizimikaru]
> #471. You know to make chess piece cakes. [Jatinsuman]
> #472. When you want a chess player match. [marvaleouseek]
> #473. You are searching for double posts (e.g. 105 + 488). [EdForceOne]
> #474. When you try to find multiple mating solutions for the captcha. (some of them do). [Typp]
> #475. When you are reading this thread. [The_Human_Paradox]
> #476. You just captured a queen. [Jatinsuman]
> #477. You don’t like chess.com. [beep081]
> #478. When you see an "L" you think of a knight. [KKevinW]
> #479. When your 'heroes' are Fischer, Kasparov, Capablanca or the likes. [KKevinW]
> #480. When you are in social studies and your teacher says knight and you think of the chess piece. [KKevinW]
> #481. When you are the first one to recognize you have bingo due to your talent of coordinates. [KKevinW]
> #482. When people call a knight "horse" you beat them up. [Albert24816]
> #483. When you know Magnus x Supi game. [move44]
> #484. When you want to train tactics and exercises but your brain commands you to play bullet. [move44]
> #485. You watch agadmator every day. [beep081]
> #486. When you know that say 'check' is not mandatory. [marvaleouseek]
> #487. You think that chess24 is a scam company. [Cry-Like-A-GM]
> #488. When you prefer to buy some chess supplies than buy a computer. [KKevinW]
> #489. When you buy a membership to ICC instead of buying a Fortnite battle pass [KKevinW]
> #490. You hate when people say that chess is for crazy people. [beep081]
> #491. When you get into a fight and punch each other, you say "Captures, Captures" [HeathSpiresII]
> #492. When you know you can smash ur friend in all types of chess. [Dangerouskid]
> #493. You spend all day looking up chess videos trying to get better and ask everyone in your house to play you even though they never want to. [ak909]
> #494. It takes you 1 minute to finish off an A.I. via Bishop+Knight+King vs. King. [Pandas_of_the_Night]
> #495. When you never feel alone. [marvaleouseek]
> #496. You want people to learn to count (sign number). [beep081]
> #497. You know the difference between stalemate and draw. [marvaleouseek]
> #498. You can solve a Rubik's Cube. [FirstCamel]
> #499. You don't sleep the whole knight to play chess. [Christosagnostos]
> #500. You know that solving a Rubik's cube is irrelevant to chess. [Christosagnostos]
> #501. You go on the forums to solve Mate In One puzzles. [HeathSpiresII]
> #502. You sing “Take back the night “ as “take back the knight”. [beep081]
> #503. You make a simul and you hasn't got any candidate players. [NoBiTa__NoBi]
> #504. The Bongcloud is not just a vape. [HeathSpiresII]
> #505. You want Hikaru to win the LARC. [beep081]
> #506. You use the word 'prophylactic' which is a less commonly used term outside of chess fraternity. [happy2play4]
> #507. You beat a GM with queen odds. [beep081]
> #508. You have seen this video:
>
> #509. You are good or okay at chess. [KingKrish8]
> #510. You draw pictures of chess pieces and chess boards in school, when you're bored. [GlowBlock64]
> #511. When you are at school and want to play chess with your classmate, but you don't have a chess board, you draw one (I once did it). [Christosagnostos]
> #512. You watched the Lindores Abbey final, with Dubov against Nakamura. [Christosagnostos]
> #513. You find a good joke to post in this forum but miss the mate in 1 in the captcha. [Am0s]
> #514. You don't forget a previous joke mentioning that you are a chess player when you always solve the chess captcha. [Christosagnostos]
> #515. You play a simultaneous exhibition at your school cafeteria. [beep081]
> #516. You love chess based movies. [marvaleouseek]
> #517. You love going at the bar or the library to watch chess, as agadmator says. [Christosagnostos]
> #518. You’ve beaten Magnus Carlsen but age 5. [beep081]
> #519. You know what the 3-fold repetition draw is. [Christosagnostos]
> #520. When tasked with writing 'signs that you are a chess player' you talk about chess trivia instead. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #521. Said talk about chess trivia appeared in your personal youtube vlog. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #522. Agadmator has appeared in your personal gardening vlog which has nothing to do with chess. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #523. You criticize ANY deviation from the theme of a thread in a chess forum. [MercuryTrismegistus]
> #524. You have the Play Magnus app. [beep081]
> #525. You know how to "count". [beep081]
> #526. You know the 50 th move rule of chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #527. You Play a game called CHESS. [KineticTactic]
> #528. You know bullet is considered chess. [beep081]
> #529. You know the secret square rule. [marvaleouseek]
> #530. Anyone who uses the word dubious. [DerrickPosen]
> #531. You watch streams about chess as if they were football matches and scream silently if someone didn't see the best move. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #532. You cannot multiply except for 8x8 which is 64 of course. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #533. You count in these steps: 1,3,3,5,9. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #534. When you have a game of chess with your friends everywhere 'cause both of you can play blindfully. [CosmoPictures]
> #535. You wonder why there is still military confrontations if there is chess. [marvaleouseek]
> #536. You know the boring feeling we get when we play 90|30 with a second time control of 30 minutes. [goosefeathers]
> #537. When someone says "Luft" you think of king safety instead of air or oxygen. [SucheSchachfreund]
> #538. When you know the wooden shield technique. [marvaleouseek]
> #539. When your name is Magnus Carlsen [beep081]
> #540. When you think the mods need to nerf the bishop pair. [Timegod]
> #541. When you think that a chess piece would be a nice character in smash bros. [marvaleouseek]
> #542 When playing chess you like having a nice ''sip of water''. [Christosagnostos]
> #543 When you have seen this videoclip.
> [Christosagnostos]
> #544 When you summarize the first 541 signs in a '1000 signs' chess thread. [hampy]
> #545 Subconsciously noticing tactics in everyday objects. If I move the plant, it unpins the clock and I can take the toilet with my bag of groceries. Oh wait. [oopsmouseslip]
> #546 You know about Morphy , Steinitz, Lasker, Capablanca, Alekhine , Euwe , Botvinnik, Smyslov , Tal, Petrosian, Spassky, Fischer, Karpov, Kasparov, Kramnik, Anand, Carlsen. [Flyingjat]
> #547 You sometimes or often look away from the board/subject you're thinking about. [FlamoToolz]
> #548 You insist that Queen Elizabeth has to stay away from The Bishop because the queen is dressed in white and the Bishop in black [wccchallenger]
> #549 When your mother tells you to use a fork at the dinner table, you think of a knight fork [Mazzeltov3]
> #550 When "The Dark Knight" is a chess piece and not a movie. [learningchesskid3]
> # 551 When you have an opinion on whether Stockfish is better than Houdini [K_Wang]
> # 552 When you continue playing, after you have accepted your personal chess plateau. It'll happen to you... It happens to everyone [even a GM] ...eventually. :] [Skittle-Head]
> #553 You draw chessboards on napkins [Beep081]
> #554 when stockfish is your best friend and you watch alpha zero at night to help u sleep [Kimmy69]
> #555 When you think a lot of chess books are expensive [Beep081]
> #556 When you tend to overthink everything [marvaleouseek]
> #557 When you get excited and intrigued by something as cold and unfeeling as a computer named Alpha Zero ️ [Swix3]
> #558 When you say "HOUDINI IS A COMPUTER, NOT A MAGICIAN!" to everyone who says Houdini is a magician [wccchallenger]
> #559 You checkmated COVID-19[Beep081]
> #560 You taught COVID-19 how to improve hischess because COVID-19 keeps getting scholar’s mated [Beep081]
> #561 You instantly know how to pronounce the word 'lichess'.[Krosvicc_Janos]
> #562 You try to set everything in order [marvaleouseek]
> #563 you rage at any one who calls a rook a 'castle' and a knight a 'horse' [Kimmy69]
> #564 You have the HotWheels chess cars [Beep081]
> #565 you get pissed at people who don't wear white or black [MoonRising]
> #566 You find some chess puzzles beautiful... like this:
> White Play, mate in 4.
> lichess.org/editor/3b4/8/6p1/1R6/8/3KP1pN/6pk/6Nb_w_-_-_0_1
> Don't use computer assistance! [marvaleouseek]
> #567 You have a chess piece as keychain... [EliasDR]
> #568 you don't do anything before you calculate several years ahead [MoonRising]
> #569 You think that Kasparov is the president of the USA [wccchallenger]
> #570 You know all chess games that have been played by heart [Beep081]
> #571 You know the french, Italian, and the Spanish by heart, yet you don't know how to say "Hi" in any of these languages [wccchallenger]
> #572 Your favorite youtuber is agadmator [Beep081]
> #573 Your favorite streamer is GM Hikaru [Beep081]
> #574 You play chess everyday for at least 3 hours [SohamRoy3rdaccount]
> #575 Just want to yell at a person when he gets something messed up [SohamRoy3rdaccount]
> #576 You have a hat for thinking in chess [marvaleouseek]
> #577 Your opponent plays like shit and then you notice he’s higher rated then you. Which means you also play like shit. [Timegod]
> #578 Аfter every defeat You say you had a victorious position [ybex9]
> #579 When you blunder a piece, you say it was a Tal sacrifice [Beep081]
> #580 You stay away from people who call the Rook as 'Elephant' [JessyWeinberg]
> #581 Your house is on fire and you quickly checkmate the position on your board before you leave ROL [wccchallenger]
> #582 When you play chess Eight days a Week. :] [Skittle-Head]
> #583 When you bump threads like this: BUMP! screeeeee-WHAM! Crash! Cheff-Goal De-BLOOMPH!
> but you post in them anyway. [wccchallenger]
> #584 You celebrate Lichess Aniverary the last June 20 [marvaleouseek]
> #585 When you forget to number the signs because you think about chess all day long [Beep081]
> #586 You do not sleep during night and start to do obsessive chess questions like this: lichess.org/forum/general-chess-discussion/question-of-all-questions [Destinyprotector]
> #587 You keep this thread alive [Beep081]
> #588 your word is a 8x8 square [Michael_B5]
> #589 when you see paving stones and think about a chess-board [tris1x]
> #590 You get angry when you lose only one game [Andrej19]
> #591 you are a bad loser [Andrej19]
> #592 you cant accept you lost [Andrej19]
> #593 you NEVER think NOT about chess [Andrej19]
> #594 You notice when other people are trying to cheat. [marvaleouseek]
> #595 When you play chess 40 hours everyday (twosetchess) [Mate_On_f7]
> #596 in real life as a Chess king you are suprised that you can be mated by your own queen ;-) [FM royalblue04]
> #597 The most traumatic experience you've ever had is getting scholar's mated when you were 10 [Beep081]
> #598 You know the word pawn [SucheSchachfreund]
> #599 You learn to check mate just posting in Lichess Forums. [marvaleouseek]
> #600 You want to play chess all day and dont do ANYTHING ELSE... [Andrej19]
> #601 youn think that towers can move in reallive [Michael_B5]
> #602 in a movie when something explodes you think about atomic chess... [Andrej19]
> #603 in maths lesson when you hear 2*2*2*2*2*2 (2 to the 6) you think about the chess board. [Andrej19]
> #604 when you hear queen in checkers you think about chess and play an irregular move in checkers. [Andrej19]
> #605 The first thing you do in the day is solve a chess puzzle. [marvaleouseek]
> #606 You like Harry Potter [voldemortv2]
> #607 You eat (capture) chess pieces for breakfast [Ayerdi_U12_GUA]
> #608 You like to put a chessboard for your correspondence games. [marvaleouseek]
> #609 You take up french in high school because you want to learn a new opening [pedestrian212]
> #610 You know that there is another topic of Lichess forum where they try to reach a post of 1,000,000 pages (about whatever)... and you feel hopeless about them.
> # 611 1.When you learn and fully understand the rules of chess.
> 2. When you master basic chess.
> 3. Now you are a chess player. :] [Skittle-Head]
> #611 You can do that CAPTCHA
> [AOOP9_2]
> #612 You laugh when Murray Head sings about "the ultimate test of cerebral fitness" and then plays a Scholar's mate.
>
> [KatzenschinkenBlind]
> #613 When you have the patience to browse through a forum with signs that you are a chess player. [TOMbrady12isdGoat]
> #614 When you're angry at yourself for not reading this forum in a couple of days. [Beep081]
> #615 You make sure to call knights "horses" and rooks "castles" to annoy the elitists. [Ellen_Hall]
> #616 Instead of "420" you ask people if they partake in "Ke2" [imaxwell]
> #617 You finish your day playing chess.[marvaleouseek]
> #618 when you feel happy and proud when you defeated grandmasters [kid_NAP]
> #619 You name your children "Robert, James, Gary, Mikhail, Judit" [tim1361]
> #620 When you know that Mickey Mouse's real name is Mikhail Tal [Beep081]
> #621 You use lichess over chess.com [ScorpianFire7]
> #622 You hate spam and advertisements. [Beep081]
> #623 You imagine many "what if" positions [RubySeaTurtle]
> #624 You wonder why, even though I put it in every single one of my posts, people don't number the signs [Beep081]
> #625 When you dare to thumbs down your own post. xd [marvaleouseek]
> #626 you hate your opponent when he ruins your plans [soccerfreak1213]
> #627 You regularly come back here to check if some new ideas has been posted. [Mi5ter_t]
> #628 You hate when people get off-track [Beep081]
> #629 You know that today is the international chess day! [marvaleouseek]
> #630 Someone asks why you are so angry, and you reply with: "They accused me of using an engine because I beat them!" [Francis9200]
> #631 Someone ask you what do you think of endgame and you don't think about the Avengers movie. [TacTicIsTicTac]
> #632 You wish everyone a happy chess day and they all reply with "chess day?" (except for your chess coach). [Beep081]
> #633 You study 3 hours per week ( I actually do that ) [Recur]
> #634 You play one classical game in the chess international day. [marvaleouseek]
> #635 you are named Garry Kasparov [MinitoughForm]
> #636 Your time ran ran out in a completely winning position. This happened to me multiple times. [PurpleCelery329]
> #637 You feel very sad because this thread is almost dead. [marvaleouseek]
>
> Continue with #638 and so on till number 1000! Please help and make history!
After reading all this My head feels so heavy! And it took me half of an hour to read all this!
@Dharanish1320109 dont quote #1 it is really hard to scroll down
@marvaleouseek #641
When your wife says with a sexy smile"honey, it's time to go to bed"
and you say
"Ok, just let me finish this game first"
When your wife says with a sexy smile"honey, it's time to go to bed"
and you say
"Ok, just let me finish this game first"
Can you all please STOP QUOTING #1?????
#642 When you play so much that you dream about chess games.
#643 You're no longer quoting #1
Wow I had to scroll a lot to see my message
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