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WHY IS 6 AFRAID OF 7?
because seven ate nine! (7,8,9)
because seven ate nine! (7,8,9)
I repost this joke i made a week ago :
it's an explorer who walks into a bar and asks the bartender :
- a whiskey with ice !
he waits and the bartender doesn't answer, in fact there is no bartender or bar, the explorer says to himself,
- s**t, I dreamed again, I'm just in Antarctica !
and he takes his flask of whiskey and bends down to get some ice but finds nothing. he thinks,
- d*mn, I forgot there's no ice in Antarctica anymore!
and he sits in a puddle to drink his whiskey, without ice.
it's an explorer who walks into a bar and asks the bartender :
- a whiskey with ice !
he waits and the bartender doesn't answer, in fact there is no bartender or bar, the explorer says to himself,
- s**t, I dreamed again, I'm just in Antarctica !
and he takes his flask of whiskey and bends down to get some ice but finds nothing. he thinks,
- d*mn, I forgot there's no ice in Antarctica anymore!
and he sits in a puddle to drink his whiskey, without ice.
A bar in a skyscraper tower
A man in glasses is drinking, a man walks into the bar and sits down next to him.
The man with glasses looks at the bartender and says.
-Bartender, serve me a specialty cocktail.
The bartender looks at him with contempt and makes this cocktail. The glasses man drinks it in one gulp and jumps out the window. Fucking guy runs up to the window to see the glasses guy survived. And he asks the bartender
- What the f*ck was that?
Bartender waved him off and said.
- He does that a lot.
The glasses guy comes up and asks him to do it again.
The bartender repeats it, and the guy takes another shot and goes out the window. And he does it two more times.
The man sits in a fuckin' daze and decides to repeat the feat of the bespectacled man and says.
-Bartender, a special cocktail please.
The bartender looks at him with disapproval and makes this cocktail. The man with glasses sits down next to him and smiles. The man drank the cocktail in one go and jumped out the window. Crashed.
Afterward, the bartender says to the glasses guy.
-"Superman, you're such an as*hole when you're drunk!!!
A man in glasses is drinking, a man walks into the bar and sits down next to him.
The man with glasses looks at the bartender and says.
-Bartender, serve me a specialty cocktail.
The bartender looks at him with contempt and makes this cocktail. The glasses man drinks it in one gulp and jumps out the window. Fucking guy runs up to the window to see the glasses guy survived. And he asks the bartender
- What the f*ck was that?
Bartender waved him off and said.
- He does that a lot.
The glasses guy comes up and asks him to do it again.
The bartender repeats it, and the guy takes another shot and goes out the window. And he does it two more times.
The man sits in a fuckin' daze and decides to repeat the feat of the bespectacled man and says.
-Bartender, a special cocktail please.
The bartender looks at him with disapproval and makes this cocktail. The man with glasses sits down next to him and smiles. The man drank the cocktail in one go and jumped out the window. Crashed.
Afterward, the bartender says to the glasses guy.
-"Superman, you're such an as*hole when you're drunk!!!
why do all the jokes here except one contain a bartender
anyways
a man walks into a bar...
anyways
a man walks into a bar...
Some Universal Jokes :-
1.We are friends bro !!
2.I will not cheat on you babe
3.I am your best friend !!
(Although all of them are not true but these 3 are true for me)
1.We are friends bro !!
2.I will not cheat on you babe
3.I am your best friend !!
(Although all of them are not true but these 3 are true for me)
A travelling salesman is driving down a country road when he spots a pig with a wooden leg in a farmer's field. Rather curious, he decides to pull into the driveway to check it out. A crusty old farmer comes out of the house and walks up to the car and says "What can I do for you, young man?" The salesman replies " I see there is a pig with a wooden leg in your field. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?
"That's my favorite pig!" the farmer replies. One day, I fell asleep in the barn and the barn caught fire. The pig came in and squealed and squealed and I awoke just in time to escape a fiery death." "Another time, I was working on my tractor when it tipped over on top of me. The weight was squeezing the breath out of me. The pig came in and dug under my shoulders, then grabbed the jean jacket collar and drug me out from under the tractor, saving me from death by suffocation. Yes sir, that is some pig!"
"But why does he have a wooden leg?" the salesman asks. And the farmer replies...
.
.
.
"A pig like that you don't eat all at once."
"That's my favorite pig!" the farmer replies. One day, I fell asleep in the barn and the barn caught fire. The pig came in and squealed and squealed and I awoke just in time to escape a fiery death." "Another time, I was working on my tractor when it tipped over on top of me. The weight was squeezing the breath out of me. The pig came in and dug under my shoulders, then grabbed the jean jacket collar and drug me out from under the tractor, saving me from death by suffocation. Yes sir, that is some pig!"
"But why does he have a wooden leg?" the salesman asks. And the farmer replies...
.
.
.
"A pig like that you don't eat all at once."
A kid finds a magical lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, “What is your first wish?” The kid says, “I wish I were rich!” The genie replies, “It is done! What is your second wish, Rich?”
hehe
A man walks into a library, approaches the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
The librarian says, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
“Sorry,” he whispers. “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
get it?
The librarian says, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
“Sorry,” he whispers. “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
get it?
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