Any advice

Learn the principles (don't worry there are not a lot), train tactics, just play chess (preferable no Bullet) and try to enjoy it (I would also suggest endings, but they can be quite theory heavy).
I have depression, schizophrenia, inferiority complex and sociophobia and i play chess merely for distraction, yet i think all that doesn't really limit me. You can find ways around it. If you are not good at calculating, play simple moves only (like Carlsen or Smyslov), if you don't like positional chess, play irrational moves (like Tal), etc...

Look at every loss as an opportunity to learn what your mistake was (ex: you hung a pawn or didn't develop your pieces). You will intuitively ,,save" it after some time.

#10
"I would also like to say that I panic if my opponent has more time than me this equals me making blunders."
Time is a resource, use it. Never ever panic. Stay cool. Blunders come from playing too fast, not from having less time. Most chess games are essentially decided by move 30. So it is wise to spend all of your time till move 30. Especially if you play a time control with increment (recommended) you can then finish the game on increment.

Thanks.

ive met 2 dyslexic people and noticed they are very determined which made them way above average players.

try turn your anxiety of failure into a strength by being more focused and determined than other players.

Hikaru Nakamura was said to be very devasteted and raging as a kid when he lost games, now he is one of the top players in the world.

Re insecurity: I used to lose a lot to higher rated players. Then I started using zen mode, and my rating has improved a lot, as I don't psych myself out by assuming my opponent is a lot better than me.

So my little tip: try zen mode. To toggle it on and off, just press the 'z' key during a game. It's also available in the settings (Preferences - Game Display - Zen mode)

As for learning, I've improved a lot by just doing tactics and playing games. I also analyze my games from time to time if I don't understand where I went wrong.

@DeadlyKillerInstinct #6

What else could you expect from an arrogant chesscom forum gang member who habitually masturbates to chess engines?

I'm even surprised that he didn't recommend him to use Leela during the games, based on his sick love towards the engines, but at least his supercilious behaviour was there, just as always.

To the OP: My advice would be to just calm down and play for enjoyement. I know that it's much easier for me to say this than for you to do it, but just don't think about the result, simply stay calm and make a move you think is the best. After all, if you've done your best, what's there to worry about?

Concerning books, for endgames I always recommend Mikhail Shereshevski's Endgame Strategy and Paul Keres' Practical Chess Endings.
For strategy and tactics, some of the good books (some of quite many) that come to my mind are Gelfand's Positional Decision Making in Chess and Dynamic Decision Making in Chess.

Also, Soltis' How to Choose a Chess Move.

For tactics, I unfortunately can't remember any books for the beginner/intermediate level, but maybe someone else can. Also, you can actively do tactics training on this site.

And concerning the openings, you can find lines you like in the database or find a good PDF book on the opening(s) you play.

Bottom line is if you're eager to improve, here are some good books, and if you want to play, then just enjoy it - result does not matter. When you win you earn, when you lose you learn.

Cheers! @Peter_Merrifield

And I forgot the most important: You shouldn't spend too much time on those books - I only listed them because I thought you'd be happier if you get better - you should spend your time with family and friends (and possibly grandchildren if you have them), too. That'll help a lot concerning your tension - they'll help you calm down.

If I'm being completely honest, I feel like your "problems" are your own and no one can help you through a forum post. Everything takes a lot of time, and if you focus on improve each aspect, or at the very least have the will to tackle them, you'll find these issues will get resolved after some time.

However, I know the frustration of having a mental handicap. I have ADHD, and find it extremely difficult to do any kind of school / homework. I have gotten "treatment" for it and the treatment has helped a lot, but in regards to chess it didn't help me much.

Sure I can focus more in games, but I got to this level of play just because I really liked the game and spent a lot of time in it. I still flame, I get irrationally angry at my opponents, I don't find memorization easy, but to get good at chess, you just have to get better at every little thing, and that takes time and effort, and time and effort take interest, which you say you have.

If we're being honest, neither you or me is going to get to Super Grandmaster level, simply because we started a bit late. That doesn't mean we can't become better than 99.9% of the population in a few years, but don't delude yourself into thinking that it's an easy game, and that there's an easy way to focus and improve, it all takes time and effort in every direction.

Lastly, you may want to play a lot of faster time controls, even 2+1 bullet, because it gives you a lot of confidence with time. I play with a friend in classical formats, and although he takes his time to think really well, I am much quicker with a mouse.

TLDR time and effort

@guillaumepa I will try using the Zen mode, sounds like a good idea. As for analysing games, not a good idea for me because I can't remember the next time I play and don't understand why the computers move is better than mine. Any suggestions on that?