I am very much scared to play anymore after touching some rating mark

I am feeling very scared after touching some kind of rating mark recently on other site(chess com) i touched 1700+ on blitz and after that i was very scared to play anymore and i was sweating a lot in my next match and the consequences was that i lost more than 100 rating points in a single day and on this site i recently hit 2080 on bullet chess now i am sooooo scared to play anymore i am looking for some best advice to deal with this phobia how you guys get motivated to play more as i am a lot scared to play anymore as i care a lot about my ratings i hope you guys will guide me how to deal and how to overcome this phobia thanks a lot sending love to all of you and i am sorry as i am not that fluent with english thanks everyone i hope your advice will work :) <3

@Bunny_GM said in #1:
> i care a lot about my ratings

When the result of that care is a crippling fear of rating loss, it's pretty safe to assume you care too much.

I suggest you deactivate the display of all ratings in your preferences (preferences > display > show players ratings > no).
Since you'll probably still fear to lose rating even if you don't see it, you can try to play some casual games in order to "train" before your next rated game.
Play rated (without rating display) only when you feel ready for it.

@Coquelicoq said in #2:
>
Thanks a lot I am going to try this now thanks buddy :)

@Bunny_GM said in #1:
> I am feeling very scared... ...i hope you guys will guide me how to deal and how to overcome this phobia thanks a lot sending love to all of you and i am sorry as i am not that fluent with english thanks everyone i hope your advice will work :) <3

*Fear and good chess can't share the same space!*

I made this video to deal with this exact question; I hope it helps!

(You can skip to 12:15 if you don't have time, but I would watch the whole thing because it's all connected.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUMgonREEJo

Tyson Fury once said "you can't take a swim without getting wet"

He was talking about boxing and getting hit, but doesn't the same apply to playing chess?

Are you a warrior or a coward?

Maybe you should set new rating goals,if you reach 1700 and that was your goal,give yourself a couple hours break to get out of that state of mind and choose a new goal for yourself like breaking 1800 as a new goal

@Oportunist said in #6:
> Maybe you should set new rating goals,if you reach 1700 and that was your goal,give yourself a couple hours break to get out of that state of mind and choose a new goal for yourself like breaking 1800 as a new goal
yea i agree with you but as i start to go towards my next goal i get out of previous goal i mean if i am 1800+ player then i look forward 1900 but i go down to 1700 and again on the same day my goal is again to touch 1700

@Bunny_GM said in #7:
> yea i agree with you but as i start to go towards my next goal i get out of previous goal i mean if i am 1800+ player then i look forward 1900 but i go down to 1700 and again on the same day my goal is again to touch 1700

Its complicated,i dont know what to say but i am guessing you must be younger than 35 (i hope you are younger than 35 cause i wouldnt want to offend you with a bad guess) this is something you can overcome by being a more mature person,a more mature perspective abaut life and everything,as you get older,i think your problem will dissapear,you will realise ratings really dont mean much,having a good time while playing chess is more important

I really appreciate you spoke out what I thought. And I can really feel with you; it is the same feeling I get from time to time. But in fact, it already got better. It was very severe, and I sometimes tilted myself into losses of 200 points a day. There even was one specific day, at which I had work to do, but instead played a casual morning game, like I often did back then, just after waking up. I lost. So I played one more. Which I also lost. I played one more, won, and thought that's the turning point! I played up until the rating I had before my first game that morning, and instead of then getting up to work... I fucked up thinking I could do even better and ended up in late evening, with a massive tilt and one day completely screwed. Then again there also were times, I got to a nice level, and wont have played for days or even weeks, since I was afraid of loosing again. Because that's MY number... who would I be without it? And now the keypoint:

It got better the day, that I decided, that I will not let my rating determine my life and my thinking of me as a person. Hence I closed my account, and created this new one, and said to myself, no swore it: This is fun. Chess is a game, and if it isn't fun I am doing something wrong. This will end, right here, with this new account.

And it did.
Mostly.
I had a massive tilt after my grandfather died, and another massive one, when I had a severe accident, which made me beeing in a wheelchair for the next 6 months. These things happen, and they definitely have impact on our play. But in general it got better. By just redefining the meaning of this rating. In the end it is just a number, you as a person will stay the same.
Why waste your life with either beeing sad about a silly number or worrying about it going in any direction?
Just play, and of course: have fun!

@Oportunist said in #8:
>
Thanks yea i am just 21 currently and tbh I am a very sensitive person i admit this I get nervous & sad over little things i hope this will be cured by age thanks anyway :)