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Why Every Chess Player Should Vote For Donald Trump!!

Now, I certainly admit that some of my articles have been perhaps too far along the lines of merely "preaching to the Choir," such as those expressing my emphatic desires to bring back the legalization of dueling (pistols and sabers), to bring back our right to smoke cigarettes in theatres and restaurants, to bring back crucifixion in order to hasten the security of our sacred American borders, to bring back the traditional role of nobility in state government (especially restoring families such as my own to dictatorial power), and of course to restore Germany's nation to the borders it was before WWI. All that aside....I think if put in the proper light, a very well reasoned argument can arise justifiably proclaiming Donald Trump to be the most ideal President of the USA for any chess player.

Let's just take a moment to look at chess itself. You win a chess game by really one of three ways or possibly some combination of the following:
1) You are a superior intellect and since chess is at it's most basic element nothing more than a logical puzzle, you simply win (kind of like a Mercedes going up against an Igork or whatever the hell that awful little peasant car is in Russia).
2) You trick your opponent with something unexpected and before your opponent can figure it out it's too late and you've got mate in 5.
3) Despite being entirely inept and belligerently maleducated, your opponent blunders uncontrollable and incessantly, thus you can't help but falling into a winning position.

This is all very similar to any greatness in life any of us will ever achieve. For example, we either achieve greatness by proving our individual superiority every day in every way possible whether it be intellectual or physical simply by means of our individual brute superiority, or possibly by being clever and cunning kind of like a day trader, or possibly inheriting some wealth and as a result of that hand of cards being almost incapable of being unsuccessful if managed even partially well. Hence, the chess player (though most chess players are losers when it comes to money, women, and general life), has a greater understanding through chess (as St Teresa of Avila once pointed out in her manifesto) that life itself has great parallels to chess, and mastering chess can help refine and make such parallels more clear. Hence, the ideal political candidate for a wise chess player is one who understands how to maximize the strengths that the chess player innately understands.
What strengths are those you ask?
Well, OBVIOUSLY, those three strengths previously mentioned!
1) To be intelligent!
2) To be clever and cunning!
3) To take what you've inherited whether large or small and turn it into something greater!
Conclusion: Donald Trump is the perfect example of all three put together. Hence, he is the ideal candidate for any chess player!!

Why is Trump is so great you might ask?
Well, it's all relative to a few things and those things are debatable. I think it's safe to assume that the vital aspects to look at are:
1) What kind of Country do you live in terms of size and general way of life. The USA is capitalistic, large in land, and the largest super power in military might and overall wealth.
2) How free really are you? In the USA you are quite free. No nobility, no national religion, and everyone has the same rights. Hence, everyone has the ability to make money as a US citizen, and the ability to make unrestrained monetary advancements is THE ONLY REASON TO LIVE IN THE USA!!! In the USA the state religion is practically money!! Now, I don't find that fact necessarily charming and elegant or noble, but money is USEFUL!!! And I intend on taking the few scrappy million dollars my family left me and turning it into something worthy of the greatness that America allows us all to achieve!

What does Trump represent that is so enticing with this criteria?
Well, it's VERY simple!! Trump represents a tightening and consolidation of US companies and general resource in order to exploit labor in other countries while increasing the cash flow from trade into the USA. Hence, it is becoming more inexcusable every day to not be a millionaire if you are technically an American citizen. It's just TOO EASY!!! And now, Trump might bring his tariff initiative to imported uranium which makes up about 95% of America's nuclear usage. Imagine what American uranium mines are going to do if they are allowed to compete fairly with Kazakhstan and those other friendly little illegitimate offspring of Bolshevism and the 'red scare.' Those stocks are going to SKYROCKET!! I personally own tens of thousands of shares of depreciated American uranium mines....why?? Because that's what a competent chess player does. He finds ways to succeed!! Why is Trump so great??? Because he is redefining the rules to allow people like me to succeed even more!!!! Hence, buy some shares, join the party, and let's truly make our lives greater as Trump makes America "great" again!!
Hail to the Chief.
I don't understand your passage.
Please explain your explanations and ask why a lot times in your passage to clarify.
If "most chess players are losers when it comes to money" why would they live in the US when "the ability to make unrestrained monetary advancements is THE ONLY REASON TO LIVE IN THE USA", let alone vote for Trump who as you indicate is the uber-capitalist.
Make sure to re-invest your gains in Lichess stock.
@GianMarcoDorio You need to stop, you're not fooling me with your ruse, it's very clear you're trying to make conservatives look bad.
@StevenEmily
So...here's the basic premise to my argument:

Chess is similar to life.

How is it similar?

Because there are three basic aspects to achieve greatness:
1) Be Intelligent!
2) Be clever, cunning, etc!
3) Take whatever you have and find a way to utilize it to make something greater!

Hence, because Trump is good at that, he is very similar to a chess-style politician.

@cagedmonkey
Well, monkey, I don't know what the statistics are for "most chess players," but I do find it entirely believable that most chess players per capita probably do live in the USA. The USA has so much wealth that even though "Reagan economics" is obviously nothing more that voodoo trickle down bullshit, as GHW Bush once wisely pointed out, the fact remains that even if you just sit around doing practically nothing....as long as you go to work once in a while you will make enough to survive. The USA really allows the successfully minded to achieve real greatness, but also allows the incredibly lazy to just get by. Hence, if you just sit around all day playing chess....you're still going to need food, shelter, etc. There's so much wealth in the USA that you can probably get by while doing practically nothing.

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