9. when someone says you are in "zugzwang", you think is a german word for "poop"
10. you have a girlfriend.
11. You don't understand the true beauty of the game and the depth and thought put into each move.
12. You haven't mastered basic chess. :]
13. you are good at sports. you have lots of friends and you get invited to all the cool parties.
Your name is jerk
The glass planter on the chessboard centers the rest of the shelf so well.
14. You try to checkmate your opponent with your king
FYI, Nakamura tried to checkmate anand with his king and rook and queen endings require a king to mate
I mean trying to put your opponent in check with your king (without discovered attacks)
