[April Fools] Lichess.org is sold to ChessCube
ChessCube (Pty) Ltd buys lichess.org for $752,000; Thibault retires to Bahamas
[EDIT] This post was an April fools joke. Lichess.org will never be sold. Lichess.org will always be free for everybody, without any ads. It's a promise.
Today, Thibault Duplessis confirmed and formalised the contractual agreements which give ChessCube (Pty) Ltd all rights over the site, including intellectual property, domain, legal and equitable rights for a cash sum of $752,000.
As I (Cynosure) largely deal with the legal and business issues which frequently affect lichess.org, I am in a prime position to let the community know the exciting details of our new contract, which we agreed this morning with our new owners!
- Facebook sign-in has become compulsory. If you don't have a Facebook, you need to get one immediately to continue playing on the site. We think that ever-increasing connectivity is a positive in the 21st century, because we know Aunt Gladys wants to analyse where your Najdorf went wrong with you! Sadly, anonymous users can no longer use lichess.org, but that's fine because they don't donate anyway!
- The hugely popular "cubits" are coming to lichess.org! A donation to lichess of $10.99 gives you 100 cubits, which allows you to play 100 rated games. Alternately, you can pay $29.99 for a months premium membership, which gives you 500 cubits, 50 training puzzles, and unlimited games against Stockfish!
- Sign up in the next 14 days, and you get 10% off - forever!
- Adverts will be coming to lichess.org. I've spoken to some advertisers, and soon we will be advertising MMORPGs based in Korea, with pictures of large breasted cartoon women saying sultry things like "COME NOW FOR ME MY EMPEROR" or "My Lord, I need your help!" We've also got exclusive rights to advertise the selfie-stick, and Mountain Dew: Extreme Chess energy drink. Thanks to the recent removal of the top menu, there's now plenty of room to display horizontal ads on every page.
- People who use AdBlock will be IP banned. VPN use will get you IP banned. Using TOR or a proxy will get you IP banned.
- Bans can be appealled for $4.99.
- Ever lost a game because of a silly blunder, or a misclick? So have I. That feeling of frustration, that anger... Now you can force a takeback in the middle of a game by paying $0.50 after your opponents move!
- For every Facebook friend you refer to use us, you earn 200 cubits, and get 1/3rd off your membership for SIX months!
- Analysis and PGN download/import remains free until May, but then it will require a premium account.
It had long been known by us moderators that the demands of the community had long been making Thibault tired, bored and disenchanted with his project. Most recently, the updates to the user interface which increased the visibility of previously obscure links were particularly controversial and created a severe backlash against the interface.
I contacted Thibault by satellite phone earlier this morning from his new palatial home in the Bahamas, where he had just come back from the casino. A possibly inebriated Thibault told me he "found it depressing" to continue, and that he "was wrong to be a Communist, selling out to capitalist doctrine feels so good". The rest of what he said was muffled as two giggling women, only known as "Bunny" and "Ruffles" promised to "make him feel so good" and "liberate the socio-economic cornices of his mind". Thibault's final comment was that he would pay for the rest of the moderation team to join him in the Bahamas, but that he really wants to holiday on the moon.
Have a good April Fools.