Totally relevant, the dopamine surge when you win is what makes chess addictive
Excellent post.
I would point to the great features Lichess has to be less distracted and hypnotized by ratings using the Zen option as well as the setting "hide all ratings" (all the way down on the setting page).
I allow myself to check my rating once every couple of weeks and feel way less stressed about it.
I would point to the great features Lichess has to be less distracted and hypnotized by ratings using the Zen option as well as the setting "hide all ratings" (all the way down on the setting page).
I allow myself to check my rating once every couple of weeks and feel way less stressed about it.
Great article. My livelihood does not depend on playing chess, but I do feel terrible after a loss. One thing that sometimes helps me to get over the bitterness of a loss is appreciating my opponent. I configured lichess to automatically send a "Good game, well played" message in the chat after a loss. I try and align my perspective of the loss to a well played game by my opponent. It certainly helps to take a little bit of the sting off a loss.
I would add another aspect: when we loose, we score zero points, not like in basketball, for exemple... Even if we make most of first line moves, nothing remains in the "history", you simply loose
Loosing usually hurts me not at all but can hurt for a few minutes if I thought I was playing well then did a bad blunder. I spend a large amount of relaxation time playing chess but don't regard chess as productive.
This post really struck a nerve with me. When I play online, I'm never too upset, maybe a little bummed that I screwed up, but there's always the next game.
Losing is especially painful when I lose OTB rated tournament games (mainly ones that are one game per week). Sitting there for a 3.5 hour game after work and losing to lower rated player feels so much worse than any sort of other loss. I have to live with the loss for an entire week before I can redeem myself.
Losing is especially painful when I lose OTB rated tournament games (mainly ones that are one game per week). Sitting there for a 3.5 hour game after work and losing to lower rated player feels so much worse than any sort of other loss. I have to live with the loss for an entire week before I can redeem myself.
Great article. But I've come to a different conclusion.
When I play golf I enjoy the experience, being in the beautiful outdoors, I get to plan, visualize shots, make decisions, but also experience exercise, getting pretty tired after 4 hours. Even if there are bad shots, I make mistakes etc, it's intertwined with all the good stuff. And the end result is not binary. If I shoot a bad number it could have been because of some single mistake, while there were so many other good shots and nice experiences. Same with tennis, the exercise, the tricky shots, the ones you managed to catch, the fantastic duels etc. With Chess it is so binary. Everything is meant to set up a checkmate at the end of the game. Or you loose, and when you loose you loose everything. The whole game feels like it was for nothing.
So, I've decided to be better at seeing not just the end result as the outcome, but all the things that transpired during the game. I am now a lot better at thinking more about how I played, and the end result matters less, or maybe not at all (at least I try to have that approach, of course a win is super nice). I've decided to give more weight to the things that happened during the game, rather than what it led to. Maybe I faced a new opening, awesome, that gives me a whole new opening to explore with a purpose. Or I played a few nice moves that I will remember and try to recall in future games, even if I lost the game in the end. Or I missed some tactics, great, I will now remember this tactics forever and be able to recall how I played against it. The greater the defeat and the more I focus on what kind of mistakes I made, the better I will remember it and be on the lookout for it in the future. If I pay enough attention to the mistake that I end up training specifically for hours to catch this type of tactics then the loss might be one of the most important things that ever happened to me. On the contrary, if I try to forget it quickly the game will be pointless.
Also, just before starting a game, which I am often nervous about, my intent is not to win, but to learn something new, be it through a loss or a big blunder or a spectacular play on my own part. It's not the end result that matters, but getting better for the next game. Winning easily is about the least productive thing that could happen. Or scoring a quick win by tricking the opponent and hoping for a mistake on his part.
When I play golf I enjoy the experience, being in the beautiful outdoors, I get to plan, visualize shots, make decisions, but also experience exercise, getting pretty tired after 4 hours. Even if there are bad shots, I make mistakes etc, it's intertwined with all the good stuff. And the end result is not binary. If I shoot a bad number it could have been because of some single mistake, while there were so many other good shots and nice experiences. Same with tennis, the exercise, the tricky shots, the ones you managed to catch, the fantastic duels etc. With Chess it is so binary. Everything is meant to set up a checkmate at the end of the game. Or you loose, and when you loose you loose everything. The whole game feels like it was for nothing.
So, I've decided to be better at seeing not just the end result as the outcome, but all the things that transpired during the game. I am now a lot better at thinking more about how I played, and the end result matters less, or maybe not at all (at least I try to have that approach, of course a win is super nice). I've decided to give more weight to the things that happened during the game, rather than what it led to. Maybe I faced a new opening, awesome, that gives me a whole new opening to explore with a purpose. Or I played a few nice moves that I will remember and try to recall in future games, even if I lost the game in the end. Or I missed some tactics, great, I will now remember this tactics forever and be able to recall how I played against it. The greater the defeat and the more I focus on what kind of mistakes I made, the better I will remember it and be on the lookout for it in the future. If I pay enough attention to the mistake that I end up training specifically for hours to catch this type of tactics then the loss might be one of the most important things that ever happened to me. On the contrary, if I try to forget it quickly the game will be pointless.
Also, just before starting a game, which I am often nervous about, my intent is not to win, but to learn something new, be it through a loss or a big blunder or a spectacular play on my own part. It's not the end result that matters, but getting better for the next game. Winning easily is about the least productive thing that could happen. Or scoring a quick win by tricking the opponent and hoping for a mistake on his part.
Losing doesn't hurt, I just say good game, well played and I start a new game. Many people take chess very seriously, they see it as a representation of their overall intelligence. People that are drawn to chess tend to be very petty in that regard. Take the attitude that you are doing this for fun, not the notoriety or ego boost and you will probably find yourself enjoying the game a whole lot more.
@armyguy said in #9:
> The loser is the player who makes the last biggest blunder. An unfortunate move swings the game to a less favorable result. Realization of this blunder is what making losing so hard, especially knowing that you have nobody else to blame. It hurts suddenly, intensely and deeply, even after 40,000 times.
Yes,but it is not answer
> The loser is the player who makes the last biggest blunder. An unfortunate move swings the game to a less favorable result. Realization of this blunder is what making losing so hard, especially knowing that you have nobody else to blame. It hurts suddenly, intensely and deeply, even after 40,000 times.
Yes,but it is not answer
@armyguy said in #9:
> The loser is the player who makes the last biggest blunder. An unfortunate move swings the game to a less favorable result. Realization of this blunder is what making losing so hard, especially knowing that you have nobody else to blame. It hurts suddenly, intensely and deeply, even after 40,000 times.
Yes,but it is not explanation
> The loser is the player who makes the last biggest blunder. An unfortunate move swings the game to a less favorable result. Realization of this blunder is what making losing so hard, especially knowing that you have nobody else to blame. It hurts suddenly, intensely and deeply, even after 40,000 times.
Yes,but it is not explanation