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Worst excuses you've heard or read

'It's not my decision; I just carry it out.'
'It's not that big a deal.'
'It was an accident.'
'It's my job.'
-
Post yours.
"I went to fill my water bottle" ( me and my friends while bunking 10mins of a class)

"The bench was broken earlier"( me after breaking a bench)

"I was drunk" ( my friend after doing a silly mistake in a sum )

"I couldn't sleep due to project" ( my friends while watching Netflix after 12pm and waking up late in morning )
"I have depression, autism, ADHD, OCD, and x, y, and z disorder so I am completely helpless".
"I am going to make a completely out of context forum post about person x's excuses because they hurt me and I want to spread my negativity and warped point of view to others" - @Shadow1414's excuse for posting this.
Some excuses all gamers in history have heard about:
"It's lagging"
"The controller is slippy and sweat"
"I blinked, I wasn't ready"
"He's spamming the same move/attack cowardly"
"Your character is OP"
The boss meets a late employee at the entrance to the office:
- Well, again, the wheel of the tram was punctured?
My artorney advises me against legal discussion until he can be present so I'm sticking with the Word of God.
First of all I wasn't in attendance a the location for which you are investigating.
Secondly I have no interest, in that type of thing.
Three: They were DEFINITELY asking for it. And they got what was coming to them! Just sayin
Finally,I really can't emphasize this enoug): I had nothing to do with it.
That's all I have to say.
...
Oh! This is good. You won't believe what else! So the vics are supposed to be worth millions? So there was like 5g in the safe, lol! Idiots!
@Shadow1414 said in #1:
> 'It's not my decision; I just carry it out.'
> 'It's not that big a deal.'
> 'It was an accident.'
> 'It's my job.'
> -
> Post yours.

He looked at me funny.
@WassimBerbar said in #5:
> Some excuses all gamers in history have heard about:
> "It's lagging"
> "The controller is slippy and sweat"
> "I blinked, I wasn't ready"
> "He's spamming the same move/attack cowardly"
> "Your character is OP"
*I am lagging

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