Wanna hear a joke?

Definitions:

Exhibitionist: A former hibitionist.

Dentist: A person who makes dents.

Ruthless: Without Ruth.

Yep, quality jokes all the way...

Found on upjoke.com:

John's English Literature teacher saw that John had fallen asleep:

"Now let me ask you guys a question, who wrote HAMLET? John? Can you tell me?"

John woke up and rubbed his eyes: "Hum, aaaaa, Mrs. Black, honestly, hum, I didn’t do it!"

The class filled with laughter. The teacher was angry: "Get out of my class and tell your parents to come to see me after school!"

John walked out of the class and phoned his father. His father came to the school in a rush.

When John's father saw the teacher, he said: "Hello, I am Mr. Smith, I am John’s father."

"Hello Mr. Smith, I am sorry to tell you, but I think there’s something wrong with your son. When I asked him, who wrote HAMLET, he told me that it wasn't him!"

"Excuse me Mrs. Black," the father said, "I know that John is not a very smart kid. And I also know that he causes troubles sometime. But there is one good thing about him, he is a very honest kid. If he said that he didn't write the book, then I can personally guarantee that he didn’t!"

"What!" Mrs. Black yelled and turned all shades of purple. “Get out of here!”

When John’s mother heard about the incident, she was furious: "What a stupid thing to say to the teacher, you idiot! Have you any idea what you’ve done? How can John go back to class tomorrow to face the teacher? You should have said:

‘Mrs. Black, my son is bad, I know, I am very sorry about what he did. Tell you what, I will punish him when I get home and make sure that he will never write a book like that ever again!’"

once upon a time there was a drunk scientist who loves very much doing science experiments ...
so he cought a small house fly...
he put the house fly on the edge of the table & ordered her.. FLY!
the house fly flied!
then again he cought that poor house fly again but this time he cut one of her wings....
then as usual..
he put her on the edge of the table & ordered FLY!
the house fly didn't fly...
so scientist wrote in his report..
"and yes!, experiment proved that when a house fly wing is cut, she CANNOT hear"

Some random jokes that became memes so much it's hilarious (sorry if it takes space):

Here’s a joke, its a classic:

A malk wlak door hand door he bar when the bar ender ask hlelo si.r h?wo my a hlep yup and the tender bend noiced tic the man bar door walks out in of the bar into the table.

Like and share if you agree!

Hahaha!

Here's a good one:
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BB King's wife wanted to do something special to celebrate her husband's birthday. So, she goes down to the tattoo place and tells the guy, "I want a 'B' on one a*s cheak and a 'B' on the other." He says "Okay!" and tattoos the 'B's.

She goes home and waits for Mr. King. Mr. King get's home and soon after he walks in the front door she walks out in front of him, turns around, pulls up her skirt, bends over and says, "Surprise!"

He stands there for a second with a puzzled look on his face then asked, "Who is Bob!?"

A guy goes to the bar and drinks too much, he throws up all over his shirt. Then he says, "Oh no, my wife is gonna kill me!"

The bartender says, "Hey buddy don't worry about it I've got an idea! When you get home, tell her that someone else got wasted and threw up on your shirt. They felt bad about it slipped you $10 to get it cleaned." And as the bartender said that he put a $10 bill in the guy's pocket.

The guy goes home and his wife is furious: "Where the hell have you been!? Oh gosh look at your shirt!!!!"
"Hold on, hold on" says the guy "I was at the bar, some other guy got waisted and puked on me. He felt so bad that he put $10 in my pocket!"

The wife reaches in his pocket and pulls out some money, "But this is $20.38!!!!"

"I know, I know" says the guy, "he also sh*t in my pants!"

There's two women on a bridge, one says, "Helen, I've always wanted to pee off this bridge like men do..."
The other lady said, "Go ahead, no one's watching!"

So, she goes over to the rail and hangs her a** over the side and said, "Come here! I'm gonna p*ss right there in that canoe down there!!!"

The other lady looks over and says, "That's not a canoe it's your reflection."