Please keep it friendly xD
Two chessplayers walk into a bar. Bartender asks "what do you want?" Both guys say "I want to play blitz" at the same time, so the bartender hands em a set and a couple clocks and they play in the corner for the rest of the night. Which is why chess joke threads are never funny.
Some chess jokes here: lichess.org/forum/off-topic-discussion/some-good-jokes#3
Damn maybe you are right. I just want to know if there is a chess joke that is funny. I guess that's why male chess players can't use their skill in chess as a leverage to get girls and vice versa for the females.
Not a chess joke, but that Specsavers' ad is pretty witty
Man walks into a vets. "It's my budgie, Jimmy. He hasn't made sound for weeks! He used to be so cheerful, chirping away all day but now - listen!"
Budgie: "Tweet tweet!"
Man: "See, nothing; he's lost his voice. Is there anything you can recommend 'im?"
Vet: "Maybe try the Specsavers next door?"
Narrator: some people lose high frequency sounds, such as birdsong etc etc
Eminem: **terms and conditions at 200 words per minute**
Man walks into a vets. "It's my budgie, Jimmy. He hasn't made sound for weeks! He used to be so cheerful, chirping away all day but now - listen!"
Budgie: "Tweet tweet!"
Man: "See, nothing; he's lost his voice. Is there anything you can recommend 'im?"
Vet: "Maybe try the Specsavers next door?"
Narrator: some people lose high frequency sounds, such as birdsong etc etc
Eminem: **terms and conditions at 200 words per minute**
Why was the knight appointed as the waiter?
"Because he could properly give the forks to the customers."
Yeah, that's it.
"Because he could properly give the forks to the customers."
Yeah, that's it.
why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she had to cross it.
Because she had to cross it.
Why could nobody figure out how the chicken crossed the road?
Because she did it en passant.
Because she did it en passant.
The white king and queen had a new baby pawn and invited the black pieces over to celebrate. It was born without ears so the black queen had a talk with the black king before they went over to visit. "Say nothing of its deformity! That would be rude and embarrassing!" said the black queen.
When they arrived to the white side of the board everyone was admiring the baby pawn, passing it around and giving it compliments. Eventually, the black king held the little baby pawn and said, "Wow what a beautiful baby pawn you have. I see that it has ten fingers. Does it have ten toes?" The white queen giggled and said, "Yes he does!" "Wonderful!" exclaimed the black king, "What about his eyesight? This pawn has the most beautiful eyes that I've ever seen!"
"Why thank you for such a compliment!" said the white king, "The doctor said that he has perfect vision!"
"Oh what a relief!" says the black king, "because if this pawn needed glasses when he got older he'd be in real trouble!"
When they arrived to the white side of the board everyone was admiring the baby pawn, passing it around and giving it compliments. Eventually, the black king held the little baby pawn and said, "Wow what a beautiful baby pawn you have. I see that it has ten fingers. Does it have ten toes?" The white queen giggled and said, "Yes he does!" "Wonderful!" exclaimed the black king, "What about his eyesight? This pawn has the most beautiful eyes that I've ever seen!"
"Why thank you for such a compliment!" said the white king, "The doctor said that he has perfect vision!"
"Oh what a relief!" says the black king, "because if this pawn needed glasses when he got older he'd be in real trouble!"
@MrPushwood said in #8:
> Why could nobody figure out how the chicken crossed the road?
> Because she did it en passant.
And you will never saw that coming :)
> Why could nobody figure out how the chicken crossed the road?
> Because she did it en passant.
And you will never saw that coming :)
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