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Dear Lichess, please stop harassing players

Hi, I love Lichess so far, but please stop showing those harassing messages in chat: "Warning, leftflank. Aborting too many games will result in a temporary ban." - seriously? I enter a game, guy doesn't show up, I cancel after ~12 seconds, and you want to punish ME for not wanting to waste those 5 seconds of my life further - not the other guy? Why?!!?
Just wait the 5 seconds. It's worth it to punish those people who keep selectively aborting games against lower/higher rated players.
Is it? If someone wants to hand pick skill range, 1) why not make game search option for that... 2) it doesn't require 10 seconds or more to do this, it requires maybe 1 second? look at ranking, decide, click.

The problem here is that the app designer decides that if anything happens within the time window the designer specified other than beginning of the game, then 1) at least one of the players did something wrong, 2) the one who took action first is that player who did something wrong. That's punishing the party who actually improves the system by making it more fluid (by cancelling or starting the game). It's insane.

Also it's absolutely appropriate to NOT want to play against a specified opponent. What's wrong with that?

I'm also not advocating punishing anyone by any kind of ban for NOT showing up in the set ~15 seconds. Abort is a tool to handle it.

Now if you give me a button to do something and then punish me for using it... I don't know...
#MeToo

One time I tried to post something, but there's a chess CAPTCHA that you must solve before doing so.
I had a mouse slip and failed the CAPTCHA, then Lichess starts harassing me.
"Not a checkmate" it reads in red, threatening text.

Please stop harassing users, Lichess.
@leftflank To be honest, I don't care until I'm actually "temporary banned" lol. It's quite not likely that you abort too many games because you don't like the specific opponent or because your opponent makes his first move too slow. This is just a preventive measure against trolls who abort all the games, because they consider that fun.
@Oscillations Exactly! I thought I was the only one. When ever I see that it makes me depressed and sometimes I cry. I don't know why Lichess has to make it so difficult. It hurts my self esteem.
It's not a perfect solution for sure, but my point of view is that it is the best one
@gbtami Thanks for this context.

My own opinion is that if the opponent is not connected, it should be possible to abort without consequence. But if an opponent is connected (but just hasn't moved as fast as I want them to) I should be warned and possibly penalized for hastily aborting games.

Yes, there is a possibility of an opponent reconnecting as I abort, but if that occurs often it's at least partially my fault for being so impatient as to not wait a few seconds for the auto-abort.

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